Destination Reached?
by kab16
Summary: Alt season 6. The plan worked. The bomb went off and flight 815 is headed for LA. Unfortunately, Desmond and Juliet were never on that flight. Multi-character with a focus on Suliet
1. Flight 815: Destination LA

_**The plan worked, and flight 815 is headed for LA. But Jack was wrong. He said it would be like it never happened. Some remember perfectly, for others it's a distant dream, but it's there. But the bomb droppers never stopped to think what this meant for others, Desmond, Penny, and Juliet, and the others. What is happening to them? **_

_Flight 815: Destination LA_

He was the first one who remembered.

It wasn't a true memory. Nothing he could place, but it was there. He felt her hand, slipping through his. He heard her cries; cries that made him crumble into almost nothing. "I love you so much," she whispered. And she let go.

Sawyer's eyes opened with a start and his head snapped up. There was an annoying beeping noise. The seatbelt signal. He was on a plane. He breathed a sigh of relief. It was all a dream. A vivid, realistic dream, but a dream nonetheless. He reached his hand up to his face. He felt a stream of water on his cheeks. He was _crying_? He turned away so no one could see. How embarrassing. Since when do dream make you cry? _And since when do _I_ cry?_ Sawyer thought.

He contemplated his dream. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it. He couldn't see the girls face. He didn't know her name. But he knew that in the dream, this girl was his world. And even though he knew it wasn't real, he felt a wave of grief at the thought of losing her.

Sawyer was still trying to forget about this imaginary person when he saw someone stand up in a panic. It was hard to miss, this guy was _huge_.

"What am I doing here?!" The man shouted eyes wide in terror. "How did I get here?!" He was bashing his arms around, making a giant scene. It would have been tremendously embarrassing, if not for the fact that many others were asking themselves the same question. They couldn't remember where they've been, but something told them it wasn't here.

A group of flight attendants attempted to calm him down. "Sir, we are going to have to ask you to sit back down and put your seatbelt on," one of the women said. As Sawyer turned back to look at the commotion, his eyes met with a girls across the aisle. She was in handcuffs, next to an officer. Her freckles stood out to him for a reason he couldn't understand. She felt it too. An unexplained feeling that went deeper than physical attraction. She finally looked away in a mix of embarrassment, confusion, and overwhelming emotion. An image of a cage broke into her consciousness, but it was gone as soon as it came.

"Get away from me!" The large man yelled as another woman tried to reach out a reassuring hand.

"Hurley, its okay," someone said from a few rows back, rising out of his seat.

"How do you know my name?!"

Jack thought about this for a moment. How _did _he know that? He couldn't remember. He shrugged it off, and sat back down, but couldn't stop a tiny chill from running down his spine.

*

The man, Hurley, had finally relaxed, Claire noted. The baby was kicking wildly. She put a hand reflexively up to her large belly. "It's okay, baby," she cooed. "We'll be there soon." But Claire had a feeling that her baby wasn't kicking out of impatience; even he could tell something wasn't right. Like he was ready to be let out, like he didn't want to be trapped in the darkness again…

"It's the strangest feeling in the world" She heard the man from the seat behind her say. "Just a second ago, I was thinking about the wedding, and now…I can't describe it…like I've been sleeping for-forever."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," the women responded, "I was wide awake, about to ask you what you wanted to do first, and now I feel like an entire lifetime was stuck in the middle and then pulled out. But it wasn't really life, more…darkness."

Suddenly, Claire had a flashback:

_She was reading something, looking at pictures, in front of a crowd of people near a tame fire._

"_Steve and Kristen. I-I don't know their last name but, um, they were really in love and were gonna get married. At least, wherever they are now, they're not alone."_

_Claire looked down at the scrapbook once more, the two happy faces, before moving on to the next name. _

She looked behind her. It was them.

*

Names were being called out. Names people had never heard or spoken before, but suddenly had the urge to scream.

"Kate?"

"Sayid?"

Shannon?"

Everyone was trying to figure out how they knew the very words slipping of their tongues.

*

"What…is…going…on?" Jin looked to his wife.

Sun gaped at him. "You speak _English_?" She gasped in her native tongue.

"What?" Jin was speaking Korean again, just as surprise as his wife was. "No, I don't, I don't know how I knew that…"

The two looked at each other intensely for a moment before suddenly bursting into tears. They hugged and pressed their lips together. "Jin! I can't believe you're here! I've missed you so much! More than you can believe!"

"Shhh, it's okay. I'm here now. We're okay."

They were both speaking English. Neither knew where this came from. Sun was planning on leaving him, just a few hours ago. _And why would we miss each other?_ Sun asked herself. _We haven't been separated in God knows how long_. _Hell, we've been together this entire day._

Jin wasn't upset or even surprised that Sun knew perfect English. And bigger yet, _Jin_ could speak it as well. It's true, they had spent all day together, but both felt like this was a long awaited reunion.

*

Tears were falling down Rose's cheeks for reasons she couldn't even begin to comprehend. Bernard was only in the bathroom, he'd be back in a minute. So why did she feel like this small separation would lead to an eternity of aloneness?

"He'll be back," the man in the seat next to hers reminded her.

It took Rose a moment to remember that she had told him about her husband. It had just happened, but it seemed like years.

*

She was looking for something, but she couldn't figure out what. All she had was images, strong enough to make her wander the plane, looking at every face, even as the seatbelt light flashed. Some attendants asked her to sit down, but gave up when she ignored them. They were overwhelmed by the feeling of loss and missing shadows of the past as well.

She tried to fit her flashes together. A purple dress, a laundry room, cliffs, an exercise walk, piles of food, a man…a gun…a pillow…blood. What did it mean?

"Ma'am, would you mind sitting down, please?" the sixth flight attendant asked exhaustedly.

"Yes, very much so." Libby said as she stormed past her.

"Ma'am!" The women called as she rushed after her. Libby quickened her pace. She could feel it, almost there. If only she knew what it was.

*

More names were being thrown across the plane. They were bouncing off the walls, echoing through the aisles. But no one knew how to respond. No one knew who was asking for them. No one knew who they were asking for.

"Joanna?"

"Anna?"

"Eko?"

"Aaron? Charlie?"

"Claire?"

*

The words came out quietly and shakily. "Dad, I forgive you." Walt said; eyes wide and staring into the distance.

Michael smiled and wrapped his arm around his son. Walt hadn't talked to him much. He couldn't accept that this stranger was his father, and as of only days ago had legal rights over him. This was the first time he'd even called him Dad. Maybe Walt had decided he was okay with Michael coming into his life uninvited. Maybe he'd been forgiven for turning the child's life upside-down.

"For what, Son?"

Walt was still staring at the blonde woman walking through the plane with a flight attendant calling after her. He gave the slightest nod. "For killing them."

**please review! _They make me smile, even if it's criticism :) _**


	2. Remembered

_Remembered_

I was still screaming when I realized the pain was gone. I looked around. The blinding white light had disappeared. I was free. That's when I saw where I was. Laying a top the hatch where seconds ago, _years_ ago, I was under. It worked. The plane never crashed. I had been sent back to the beginning. Only it was _their_ beginning. This was my middle. I was already on the island. And I remembered it all.

I thought back years and forward decades. It was 2004. I was having an affair with a Goodwin who isn't going to die. Ben was holding me a prisoner of his love. The only ounce of comfort is that he will die soon without Jacks surgery.

I started to cry. Why did I know? What was the point if I never got to see him again? He doesn't even know who I am. And, if by some miracle he did, how would he get here?

Death would have been better.

And then I realized something. I looked at where my hands were, leaning desperately on the metal door. If I was here, If I remembered…

I began to run.

"_Desmond!"_

I ran around to the other door. This _had _to work. What was I going to do if I was stuck here all alone, always knowing what I could have had, if only they knew about me.

I began to bang on the door, shouting the name over and over again.

Finally, the door opened. The man's face was bemused, eyes questioning. Gun in hand; he glared at me, a psychotic woman having a breakdown in front of him. His eyes became knowing as he dropped the gun.

"Juliet?"

"Oh thank God!" I cried, throwing my arms around him. "Oh, Desmond!"

Desmond embraced me uncertainly. "You, you know who I am?" He asked. "So, you're not supposed to be here either?"

"No." My voice was muffled by his chest. "You have no idea." It crossed my mind that I was never too friendly with Desmond, I can't even remember when we ever talked. But he remembered. I needed someone. I was desperate, and he remembered.

We were both alone right now, pulled out of the life we were meant to live. And all we had was each other.

"Do you know how we got here? I opened my eyes, and, and the button, it had only a second left. I had no idea what happened, why I was here, but I remembered the last time. I punched in the numbers. Then I found my makeshift calendar. If I counted correctly, this is the day of the crash."

I just nodded as the sobs kept coming.

"I'm so sorry, Desmond. We never thought of how it would affect the rest of the world when we did it."

"_You_ did this?" He was incredulous.

How did I let this happen? So stupid. All he did was looked her. What was I thinking? I didn't consider what it would do to me, let alone everyone else. Desmond and Penny. What if they had a child in their life? Oh, god.

All I could do was cry louder.

WALT

I looked down at my palms. Small, ten year old palms. My breathing was shaky. The last three years of my life, puberty, I'd have to go through it all again.

How did this happen?

Dad unwrapped his arm from around me and pulled my face toward him. He looked hurt and angry. I wasn't sure why. I thought he'd be happy-or as happy as he could get in this situation-that I forgave him. It hurt him so much when I couldn't live with him, when I was _afraid_ of him. I know everything he did was for me, and that most of the people on the island murdered someone at some point. But I just couldn't. Living with someone who had taken two lives. I couldn't sleep at night, I couldn't look at him.

But they're back now. I don't know why, or how, but they were given a second chance. So why shouldn't I give my dad one?

"Now look here," his lips quivered in anger. "I know this is hard for you, I do. I know you don't know me, and you're mad at me because you don't have anyone else to be mad at. And I can accept it if you don't think of me as your father, if you need more time. But you cann_ot _go around accusing me of things like _murder._ You got that?"

My mouth opened. What was he talking about? I hadn't blamed for anything and I didn't not think of him as my father since the first week of the…_since the first week of the crash._

"Dad," I whispered. "You don't remember?"

"Alright you stop that _right now._" His voice was like shards of ice. He really didn't.

"Dad, I…I…" I didn't know what to say. I hung my head. "I'm sorry. I crossed a line."

"Hell yeah you did." But I saw his eyes soften. He was trying. He didn't want any walls between us. I remember how hard it was for him in the beginning. Might as well start fixing it now. But what could we talk about?

"So…" I began. "We made it without dying, that's a relief."

He looked at me curiously. "I didn't know you afraid of flying."

"Well, I didn't used to be. And there are probably a lot of things you don't know about me." And now I'll have to teach it to you all over again.

He sighed. "I suppose your right."

"Why don't we start now?" I asked as brightly as I could. How was I going to keep from slipping? Bringing up something he hasn't told me about yet? I wonder if he'll be different under more normal circumstances.

"Alright." His arm went back around my shoulders.

"Um," I racked my brains out for something to tell him that didn't involve the last three years of my no-longer-real life. "Well, I've owned Vincent since I was six." I smiled suddenly and couldn't help myself. "Vincent! He's okay right? He's down there?" I wanted to go check on him. My best friend, I've missed him so much.

"Yeah, man. Don't worry, he's safe." Dad patted my back. I looked up at him. This is the first time he had his son back. And I realized that I had him back too.

I pulled him to a hug. "We're gonna be fine dad. I know we will."

"I think we will too, Walt." He smiled. A piece of me, small as it was, was glad for this impossible change in life. Dad was a good person, he deserved a second chance. All of them do.

I looked around at all of the familiar faces and lingered on one. Kate in handcuffs, staring forward with repressed anger as the marshal whispered to her.

Where was her second chance?


	3. More Than a Dream

_**Thanks again for all the reviews! I smiled a lot today!! Continue writing them!!**_

_**This chapter is for Imzadi (and all of my awesome reviewers). Charlie and Claire coming up!!!**_

_More Than a Dream_

KATE

"Whadya do, Katie? Drug our food?" The marshal laughed as he whispered in my ear. If my hands were free I would have punched him in the face. I had nothing to do with the change in atmosphere. I was sitting here quietly like a good little convict, listening to the marshal talk, and then he stopped. Everything stopped. He looked confused, like he didn't even remember he was in the middle of a word. A man who sounded oddly familiar started freaking out a couple of rows back. As I turned to see, I noticed a guy looking at me. He was _so_ familiar. But I couldn't place him.

"Hurley its okay," a second familiar voice sounded. I couldn't see him but I knew, I _knew, _I know him. From somewhere…

It wasn't just me. Everyone felt it. Soon people started shouting out. I heard my name being called by that voice. I turned back and craned my neck to see, but whoever this man was was out of sight.

A memory played in my head. But it _wasn't_ a memory; it was…it never happened, it couldn't of, but it had to.

_I was holding a needle and thread, looking at an attractive man whose back was covered in blood. The leaves around him were dripping red as well. He asked me if I'd ever sewed anything before. He wanted me to give him stitches . I didn't know what to do, of course, but he helped me. We talked about fear, hospitals, and counting to five. And I did it. I fixed him up._

"_I'm Jack," he had said. _

"_Kate."_

"Jack," I breathed.

"What's that?" my marshal asked.

"Nothing," I whispered. I wasn't getting into this with him. I didn't even know what _this_ is. I never had to sew someone up in the middle of a jungle before, but something told me I had. It was more than a dream.

CLAIRE

Aaron and Charlie. Who the hell are they and why did I call out to them? And someone said my name back. This is too weird.

The baby kicked in agreement.

At last, the plane came to a stop. Most people hurried off, but some waited, searching. For what?

I patted my stomach. "See," I whispered. "It's already over. That wasn't too bad, was it baby?"

There was no response.

I sighed and held onto both armrests for support as I stood. I was _not_ gonna miss this part. But I would miss the baby. I asked myself for the millionth time whether I was doing the right thing. But this time my answer surprised me.

_No._

I stopped. Usually I convinced myself this was the best way. That the child needed two loving parents that had a stable life and a good environment to raise a child in. I was a total wreck. I wouldn't be able to care for myself and the baby. He'd grow up all messed up and he'd hate me for being such an awful mother. I couldn't handle that. I can't raise a child, at least not during this point of my life. My son deserves better.

_Son?_

I grabbed my bags and headed off, trying to figure myself out. Should I raise him? I would love him, I knew that much. If I could just get more money, well, couldn't it work? Lots of single mothers bring up perfectly normal children. How do I do I wouldn't be a good mom? I could be a great mom.

A second voice chimed in. _Oh, really? Good mothers don't leave their children in the middle of nowhere and run off._

What am I talking about? I'm going insane. I have to be. I don't even have a child, for God's sake! But that scene, leaving him, felt so real.

_That's because it is. Don't you remember?_

I froze in the aisle. I _did _remember. Something. I didn't know what, though. I saw little clips, like watching a blurry slide show, pictures moving too quickly to understand. A cabin, a jungle, a beach, an empty jar, a hospital room, a needle. I was truly going mad.

Someone bumped into me from behind and I lost my balance. I was about to hit the ground (something you never want to do when a little person is living inside of you) when a pair of hands grabbed me.

"You alright?" He asked as he pulled me up.

"Sorry, dude," the guy who knocked into me said. "Wasn't paying attention. You okay?"

"Yeah," I answered both of them. "I'm fine."

The large man nodded and pushed around us to continue off the plane.

I looked up at the second man. He smiled and rolled his eyes. "People these days. Bloody ignorant." He knelt down to collect the things he dropped in his heroic save. I went to help him.

"It wasn't his fault. I got distracted."

"Well, yes, but your exempt from the rule." He motioned to my bulging belly with a grin.

"True," I laughed. "I do get to walk around being a crazy hormonal monster and no one can judge me cause I'm walking for two."

"Exactly," he laughed with me, moving a hand to my stomach. "Right, Aaron?"

I pulled back in shock.

"What-what did you say?" my lips just barely got the words out.

He looked at me for a moment before realizing what had happened. "Oh, God, I'm sorry. Wow, that's embarrassing," he laughed nervously while moving his hand back to his side. "I have no idea why I said that. Just, something told me his name was Aaron. I felt like…I don't know what. Stupid. Sorry."

"No," I whispered. "No, that name. I mean, I haven't named him yet, but I've been thinking about that name since, well, all the chaos began. It feels so familiar, so _right_. You think my baby's name is Aaron?"

"Well, um, technically he doesn't have a name until you name him, but yes, that one sounds familiar to me too."

We were silent. I went back to picking up his things. "You play the guitar?" I asked, holding a case up to him.

"Um-hm." He beamed at me.

More pictures came to me. This man playing the guitar, singing, holding a baby, giving me a jar of peanut butter.

"I'm sorry," I asked. "But your name wouldn't happen to be Charlie, would it?"

His grin became a bit self-absorbed. "No, that's me. Charlie Pace."

"Where have we met before, Charlie?"

His smile faded into confusion. "Were you not asking me if I was Charlie from Driveshaft?"

Driveshaft? I was about to admit I didn't know what that was when it came back to me. Some band. I've seen their picture a couple of places. "Driveshaft. Is that how I recognize you?"It couldn't be. Why would I say his name if he was just some celebrity that I didn't even know was on the plane? Why would I call out to him and Aaron?_"The possible name of my unborn son, and, oh yeah that famous guy who happens to be sitting in front of me." _It doesn't add up. And the way Aaron sounds familiar to him too. This was more than recognizing a celebrity, I knew this was more.

The smile returned. He was clearly rather egotistical when it came to his career. "Must be." He paused. "But, that doesn't explain how I recognize you."

I smiled a timid, half smile. "Do you recognize me?" I _knew_ it.

"Uh huh, and it's driving me absolutely bloody insane. Wait…were you the one I was thinking about before? Are you Claire?"

I nodded slowly. It wasn't just me anymore. It wasn't just some extreme dream of mine. I wasn't crazy. This was real.

_**Wow, I've been moving pretty quickly! A huge thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read this!! Please keep reviewing! I love hearing your thoughts!**_


	4. The Others

_The Others_

JULIET

Desmond and I sat at the small kitchen table, eating cheese sandwiches and discussing what had happened. I began from the beginning, when James came up from the water in all of his shirtless glory, black smoke in the back ground. It was where we began. It was really the first time we talked. We shared a drink, watching the boat that we believed the person each of us cared for most were on disappear. I stared into the blackness, seeing Jack's face, and he did the same, seeing Kate's. It brought us together, losing them. I wanted to laugh at myself. Was there really a time that I thought I belonged with Jack?

I told him about the flashes, and Charlotte and Dan.

"Sawyer was banging on your door like a madman. That's when Charlotte got sick awful nosebleed. We gave up and left. Dan told us we couldn't change anything.

"I remember that," Desmond said.

My eyes widened. "You do?"

"He kept knocking, Dan. I finally went and he told me I had to go see his mother at Oxford. Then he disappeared. I didn't know what to think. I thought I was crazy, hallucinating or something. The next time I saw him, back…or now, I guess, in 2004, I didn't remember. I guess cause it didn't happen yet? But three years later, I woke up, and it was there."

"Wow. So, it's like the two times were going on all at once, and you talking to Daniel didn't really happen until he _made it_ happen. And, when he did, it was at the same time as when you were home? Does that make sense?"

"Does any of this?" He asked.

I smiled. "No, I guess not."

He got up and cleaned off his plate. "Why do we remember?" He wondered out loud.

I followed him to the sink. "Well, we were already here. They never had any contact with the island. So, it's affecting us differently." It's the only thing that made sense.

He nodded thoughtfully as he cleaned his plate methodically. I wondered if he realized there was a dishwasher right next to him, but didn't want to interrupt his thoughts.

I sunk back into my chair and put my head in my hands. I tried not to think. The thoughts that came were impossible to deal with.

"So," Desmond said slowly, coming back to the table. I looked up. "You think The Others remember too?"

I had to consider that one a bit. "No." I responded finally. He eyed me skeptically. "When we were time traveling, they didn't come with us. We moved, but they stayed. They were…connected to the island in a way that we weren't. If the island is the same as it was in 2004, then they are too." I prayed I was right. It was logical, but that didn't mean it was true. The island didn't follow the rules.

Desmond just nodded. "Makes sense. But there is only one way to be sure." He raised an eyebrow at me.

"No." I said sharply as soon as I understood. "No, definitely not. Desmond, you don't understand what it was like for me there. Ben loved me-loves me. I was trapped. They wouldn't _allow _me to leave. I was-_am_ no more free than you. They will come looking for me. And they can't take me back there. This is one of the only places on the entire god damned island they don't have control over. Please, Desmond. I can't leave. I can't go back there." I stared into his eyes, pleading.

He looked at me for a moment, and then nodded to the side. "Extra beds in there."

"Thank you," I whispered, leaning over to hug him. I couldn't believe how pathetic I was being.

"You never finished." He said, ruining the moment. I moved back to my side of the table.

"What?"

"How we got here."

Oh. Right. I began where I left off, giving him the quick version.

"Well, it was just me, James, Locke, Miles, Dan and Charlotte. And then," I laughed at the beauty and impossibility of the memory. "While we were in hiding, we saw someone. We thought it was a Dharma worker, or, worse, an Other. Sawyer held him at gunpoint, and then he turned around, and it was Jin."

"_Jin_?" Desmond was incredulous. "It can't be. He died, I saw it happen." He winced, recalling the time, no doubt. Seeing the boat blow up from afar was bad enough. Being right there, seeing all the people, seeing Jin, seeing Sun watching it; I couldn't even imagine. I couldn't stop myself from putting myself and James in the same situation. I cringed and answered quickly to get the pictures out of my mind.

"But he didn't. He got back here, swam or something. He found us. Locke found a way to stop the flashes. It was too late for Charlotte. Jin made Lock promise not to tell Sun he was alive." Desmond opened his mouth to ask before I continued. "He didn't want her coming back, Charlotte said to never bring her back. He didn't want her to die too.

"Well, Locke died or disappeared, we never really found out. But, either way, he was gone. Dan had a bit of a breakdown after Charlotte and after effectively joining the Dharma group, we sent him off on the sub to the other Dharma island so he couldn't do anything rash and risk having us exposed. Things were going pretty well. James and I, we got pretty close and ended up living together-" Desmond broke me off with a burst of laughter.

"You and Sawyer? Wow, I did _not _see that one coming! Way to go, brotha!" I waited, arms folded and glaring like an old school teacher. His hysterics began to fade. "You done?"

He looked up at me and laughed once more before nodding. "Yeah, I'm good."

I sighed. "_Anyhow_, yes, Sawyer and I went out. We were happy, until three years later. Jin called to tell us. They had come back. Jack, Hurley…Kate." It was hard to get the name out. "Sayid was back to, but he wasn't as…_fortunate_. He was found in the Jungle, and they thought he was a hostile. He was held prisoner. Ended up escaping and shooting an eleven year old Ben. Kate and Sawyer took him to the others to save him. Phil-he worked with James-got it on film. That's when it all started to get out of hand. Dan came back with all these plans to ignite a bomb that would bring us back to the crash. Apparently it had something to do with stopping the radiation some incident set of while building this." I motioned to the room around me. "If we could stop it, they wouldn't need to have the button and the plane would never have crashed." I paused, looking over at the numbers slowly heading toward zero. "I guess it didn't fully work," I mumbled, feeling guilty. Miles was right, we caused it. The bomb was the incident.

"Um, Dan got shot and killed trying to reason with the others." I tried to remember the details. Kate had filled me us after. "It was, the strangest thing. His _mother_, Eloise, killed him. And Richard was there, and, some other guy…Charles."

Desmond's entire body went numb.

"Desmond?"

He grabbed my wrist. "What was his name? Charles? What was his last name?"

"Um, I don't know. Why?"

"Whitmore! Was it Whitmore?!"

"Desmond, I don't know! I wasn't there; I only know what Kate told me."

He released my arm roughly. "That son of a bitch," he muttered. His eyes burned with hate.

I moved on quickly. "Jack was determined to set off the bomb. James and I were on our way to the outside world when Kate got on the sub to get us to help her stop Jack. So we went back. And somehow in the whole mess we ended up agreeing to erasing it all," I decided to leave out all the gory details. "Sayid got shot, and was about to die. Jack, Kate, James, and I went to take care of the bomb. We threw it into the hole, but it didn't work. It began a magnetic pull. I-I got caught in some chains. They pulled me down. Kate and James tried to get me out but it was useless. I had to let go, or else I'd pull James under with me. I fell for what felt like miles. I hit the bottom, and was still awake. I was being tortured in a worse version of hell. Stuck down there in all the pain, alone, unable to move. That's when I saw it. The bomb, perfectly intact. It took all that was left in me, but it was the only way to save them. I grabbed a piece of the debris surrounding me and hit the bomb until one final white light came. When I opened my eyes, I was laying above the hatch, totally unscathed." I took a long, deep breath.

"Wow," Desmond stared at me, his eyes full of sympathy. "You really went through a lot, didn't you?"

I nodded, holding back a tear. There was nothing more to say. We sat in silence, staring at our laps and fiddling with the hems of our clothes.

"So," Desmond broke the silence. "You don't think anyone else remembers?"

I shook my head. "I'm almost sure of it."

It was his turn to lay his face in his hands. "What about Penny?" he cried. "What about Charlie?"

"Charlie?"

He brought his hands down just enough so that I could see his red, tear rimmed eyes. "My son."


	5. Meeting again

_**Hey Everyone!! Sorry this is a short chapter, I'm a bit pressed for time. Last exam tomorrow so I'll be able to post more soon! I want to thank Lauren, Jennay Imzadi, Lostcandy, and Girafe 13 for constantly reviewing and giving me your thoughts. **_

_Meeting (again)_

CHARLIE

"Wait…are you the one I was thinking about before? Are you Claire?"

This was ridiculous. I don't know any Claire's. That name just came into my mind. What is wrong with me?

She nodded. The lost pieces of my mind slowly began to come back together. I had a clear picture. Me and Claire and a baby-Aaron. Sitting together by a fire. The face I was thinking about that was blurry before was now clear as day. It was her face.

"Where_ have_ we met before?" I mumbled.

She looked hard at my face, as if trying to see the past through a broken looking glass. "Look, this might sound crazy, I know we just met and all, but I can't shake the feeling that…that…do you wanna go get a bit to eat or something?" She asked abruptly.

"Um-"

She immediately seemed to regret asking. "I'm sorry, I'll just," she laughed once to cover up her embarrassment as she tried to stand. "I'll just go."

"No! No, I would like that. Wanna get a cup of coffee? Or something little Aaron isn't stopping you from having? Oh, bloody hell, I'm sorry. I keep naming your so-child" I corrected quickly. Why did I keep doing that?

She laughed. "I don't mind. I think that's his name, or will be." She frowned, starring off into the future.

"Um," I tried awkwardly. "So, you wanna go?"

She came back to the present. "Yeah, I'm starving. Well, lately I always am, but the plane ride hasn't done anything for it." She smiled a shy, pretty smile.

I stood up, guitar and suitcase in hand, and reached down to help her up.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Here, let me grab that." I took her large black wheelie suitcase and started off.

"Does this feel familiar to you? You helping me move my things?"

Strange as it was, I did. I remembered a situation almost exactly like this. Only the scenery was different. It was all water and sand and clear blue sky. "Yeah," I answered.

"Weird," she muttered.

"Completely."

We headed out into the crowded airport and towards the baggage claim. I kept sneaking glances to Claire. I caught her staring back.

We smiled and looked away. We were almost at the baggage claim when someone shouted after us.

"Charlie! Claire!" a voice called from a distance. We turned in unison to see a young boy running after us. He stopped right in front of us, excited and out of breath. "You guys remember?"


	6. Special

_**Hey guys. Thanks so much for the reviews!! I keep telling myself I'm not going to post so quickly but I just can't seem to stop! The reviews motivate me to keep going, so please continue! This chapter is chock-full of stuff, so without further ado, chapter six!!**_

_Special_

WALT

I leaned back against the cool tile walls and closed my eyes. Dad should be back with Vincent any minute, which gave me only seconds to think this through. Was it really possible that I can be the only one who knew? I mean, I always knew I was different. I have learned to admit that to myself. My mom died from the exact disease I was studying, which could have been a coincidence, if not for all of the other indications.

It became more evident on the island. I saw flashes sometimes, about what would happen if Mr. Locke opened that hatch. All of the events it would lead too. How it would indirectly yet inevitably cause six passengers to get rescued. And how in the process, Mr. Locke would have to die.

Then, of course, the way I killed Shannon. When they had taken me, I was just trying to get away. I didn't know I could give myself two bodies. I didn't know Shannon would come running after the body that had already disappeared. She got shot by the same woman my dad shot once upon a time, and it was all because of me. If I really let myself see it this way, I murdered just as many people as my dad. But only one of mine came back.

So, yes, I knew I was special. But was I _this _special? Did I have the power to keep the memories from slipping when no one else did? And why?

Why me?

With a sigh, a reluctantly made my way out of the bathroom in case dad was looking for me. After all, I already had one strike.

I searched the airport, full of people I used to know. There was Rose with a man I had never met, Bernard, my dad had told me once. Sun and Jin walking hand and hand. Shannon and Boone arguing at the baggage claim. Claire and Charlie smiling at each other.

I was about to continue my exploration when I realized. Did they know each other before? No, no they hadn't. I'm sure…I remember them meeting. Yes, Claire was trying to move her things across the island and Charlie went to help her and they introduced themselves. They had never seen each other before the crash, and there they were.

I was running before I was consciously moving my feet under me.

"Charlie! Claire!" I screamed. Many people turned to stare at me, so I waited until I was closer before finishing. It was almost impossible, waiting those few short seconds. They _had_ to know.

I reached them and asked the question burning in my throat. "You guys remember?"

They looked at each other for a second and then back at me. "I'm sorry," Claire said, scrutinizing me. "Um, do we know you?"

What? No, they had to know me! They had to! They knew each other.

"Where did you two meet?" I asked.

They glanced uncertainly at each other again. "W-we just met."

I couldn't take it anymore. I've been pretending for the last three years of my life. I wasn't going to make the same mistakes again. I got a do over too. "No!" I shouted. "No, you didn't! You met on the island. You were there and I was there and, and them!" I motioned to the baggage claim where half our plane was waiting, some turning to look at me. "They were there too. And your baby, Aaron…" I trailed off, looking at my feet. What was I doing? They didn't remember. I sounded crazy.

"You, you know his name too?" Claire whispered. My head snapped up. The name, she didn't have it planned. She didn't know his name for a while. If now she had that name, some part of it had to stick. It's there, somewhere.

What do you remember?" I asked quietly.

"Bits and pieces," Claire responded just as softly. "Sand and fires, water and boats, needles and cabins, blurry faces." She motioned to Charlie, "his, and hers-" she motioned to Kate, peeking up at us from a while away. "I don't remember you, though."

"We didn't talk much."

I heard barking from behind me. Vincent pulled free of Dad's grip and was heading toward me. "Vincent!" I screamed, closing the space between us in long, hurried strides.

"I know that dog," I heard Charlie mumble to Claire. In the back of my mind I wondered if I should be insulted that he remembers Vincent and not me, but then again, Vincent was there longer. And after I killed Shannon, who knows who took care of him.

Vincent jumped on me. I wrapped my arms around him as he knocked me to the ground. "Vincent!" I laughed. "Aw, I missed you so much!" Everyone was staring now. I didn't care.

"Come on Vincent," my dad said, pulling him of. He looked around uncomfortably. That's right, he hated making a scene. He looked down at me as I stood. "Wow, Walt. You'd think the two of you didn't see each other just hours ago."

I just shrugged and smiled. "We're not separated that often." I rubbed his soft, golden head. I bet he remembered too.

When I looked up, Claire, Charlie, Rose, Bernard, and Shannon were all surrounding me. Shannon looked like she didn't exactly know what she was doing here, but she stared at Vincent as if he held a spell over her. "Cute dog," she finally said.

"You can pet him if you want." She looked from me to Michael to Vincent before hesitantly kneeling down and reaching a hand out. I looked to Rose and Bernard, wondering what brought them here. They were staring down at Vincent as well. I smiled. Looks like I found my passageway into the hidden memories of their minds.

Little by little, a group formed around us. Boone came after Shannon. Sayid slowly crept in. Jack followed, needing to be part of it as always. Hurley came around after a bit as well. No one said anything yet, we just stared.

"Um, excuse me?" we all looked up to see Libby come behind Hurley. She searched the group while Hurley looked her over. He opened his mouth to speak but before he got a word out Libby gasped and began to take small steps backwards. Her eyes were wide and unblinking. And they were locked with Dad's.

"Hey," Dad asked. "You alright?"

She kept moving back, further and further away. Hurley moved with her. She stumbled over a bag and grabbed hold of Hurley's arm for protection. Her eyes never left Dad's.

We were all studying the faces, some frantically and others almost knowingly.

The long silence was finally broken by the one man never afraid to break it.

"So, like…anyone else remember…an island?"

_**I'm hoping that will be considered a pretty big cliffhanger. i don't think i use enough of them!!**_


	7. Some Things Never Change

_**Hey everyone. As always, thank you for the lovely reviews. I tried to make this chapter a little longer!! I had some major writers block for this one because I had to figure out exactly where I'm headed. So now I'm relatively certain on how I am planning on ending this. Yay! Thanks for the support and PLEASE CONTINUE REVIEWING!!!! Here's chapter seven, hope you like it!! **_

_Some Things Never Change_

SAWYER

I made my way through the maze of books shelves and magazines racks in the tiny air port store. I still had one more flight to go and I sure as hell wasn't going to spend it seeing a blurry, blond haired face and listening to crazy people shouting to each other.

I ran my fingers across the bindings, waiting for one to call out to me. My hand stopped on a small pink book in the classics section: _Romeo and Juliet. _

More images flashed before me.

"_Hey Blondie," I called as I heard the door squeak open._

"_Hi James." The girl walked into the kitchen, pulling a hair tie out of her hair and shaking it out. "How was your day, Mr. LaFleur?"_

"_Just swell," I smirked. "Any hippie cars needed a good fixin'?"_

_She smiled. "Yep, it was a long, hard day."_

"_Well, sit down and relax," I directed her to dining room table with the pot I was holding. "Diner is served."_

"_Yes, Sir. Let me just get out of this God awful thing." She tugged at the front of her blue jumpsuit and turned around, unzippering the back as she went._

_I shook my head as I strained the pasta and poured the vegetables over it. I stirred it up a bit before carrying it out to the long brown table._

_She was there, smiling up at me in a short white sundress covered with streaking pink designs. "Looks good."_

_I put the bowl in the middle of the table. "It ain't the only thing." I pulled her up and kissed her. She moved her hands through my hair and down my back. She hid her face on my shoulder as I stroked her back. Then she straightened and looked deep into my eyes. _

"_I love you, James," she whispered softly._

_I kissed her lightly and then hugged her again, resting my head against her cheek. "I love you too, Juliet." _

I ran my finger across the name. Juliet. I was going to figure out who she was. And I was going to find her.

I bought the book as well as _Grapes of Wrath_, one of the few classics I never got to. I was about to head to the waiting area for my next flight when a group of voices stopped me.

"Hey, you alright?" someone asked. I turned to see a group of people standing in a circle, a lab in between them, staring from one face to another.

"So, like…anyone else remember…an island?"

"_I've been trying to get off this island for three years," _Juliet's voice chimed in my head_._

I moved in towards the group. Whatever they were talking about, it involved her. Maybe she was here. I searched everyone. Her face was still fuzzy, but I was sure I could pick her out in a crowd.

She wasn't anywhere in sight. All I noticed was the handcuffed chick staring at the island discussers longingly, as if something told her she was meant to be part of it. Something told me she was meant to too.

She caught my looking, so I smiled and waved. She waved back, or tried anyways. The man across from me followed my gaze and the two starred at each other for a long time.

"You know her?" I finally asked.

He turned back to me and nodded. "Yeah, I think I do."

I looked at him, and suddenly, it all came together. Everything, the last three years of my life, found its way back in. And I remembered the reason it had all disappeared.

"_WHY, YOU SON OF A BITCH!_" I hollered, lunging towards Jack. I knocked him to the ground and punched him in the face again and again.

"Hey!" Kate yelled at me from across the room. Of course I didn't care. There was nothing she could do about it. This was just as much her fault as it was his. She came back; she made me look at her.

I hated them both.

There was already some blood on Jack's face before Hurley and Sayid managed to pull me off. Boone and Bernard helped Jack off the ground while I struggled to get out of Sayid's torture grip.

"What the hell's a matter with you?!" Jack shouted.

"What, you don't remember?" I shot back. "You don't remember what you did!?"

"Come on, Walt," Michael put a hand on Walt's shoulder and tried to lead him away, but Walt stood his ground.

"Dude, calm down!" Hurley ordered.

"Calm down? What right do you have to tell me to calm down?! You got your girl back! You got your life back!" I looked at all of the fear-filled face, talking to each and every one of them. "You didn't lose anything!"

Walt took a slow step forward against his father's grip. "I remember too, Sawyer. I remember you trying to save me when The Others came after me. You're a good man, Sawyer. And I'm sure there is a way. I'm sure you can get Kate back."

I stopped trying to break free for a moment and looked down at the boy. "Well that's all fine and good Short Stuff, but I'm not after Kate."

"But…" He looked around uncomfortably. "Then who are you after? Everyone else is here."

I shook my head. "That's where you're wrong, kid. Not everyone's here. Only flight 815 is."

MICHAEL

I stared down at my boy. What was he talking about? When The Others came after him? What Others?

_We were on a boat. Another one was coming. We were about to get rescued. We told them our story. And they said they needed the boy. Sawyer took a shot at them, but they were quicker. He fell off and Jin went jumping after him. Before I could do anything, they had Walt. I went after him, but it was too late. I watched him being taken further and further away. And there was nothing I could do but yell._

It all clicked together. I had just finally gotten rid of all of the memories I had tried so hard to forget. And now they were back.

I looked over at Libby, who was momentarily distracted by the fight. Walt was telling the truth. I had killed her.

I felt dizzy. Everything was spinning. The floor was shaking under me. Everyone was speaking to loudly, but I couldn't understand a word of it. I staggered back and slowly lowered myself into one of the black metal chairs.

I heard the words distantly, through a broken telephone."But…Then who are you after? Everyone else is here."

"That's where you're wrong, kid. Not everyone's here. Only flight 815 is."

"I don't understand. Who else is there?"

"Juliet," Sawyer whispered. "Her name was Juliet."

"Juliet?" Walt repeated in shock. "Juliet was the name of one of _them_. You, want to go back for…_an Other_?"

"Listen, kid, a lot changed since you left!" Sawyer snapped.

"Hey!" I said, coming out of my trance. "Don't talk to him like that!"

"Dad, it-it's okay," Walt said. "We know each other."

"I know you do!" I stood up and walked back to my son, looking at Sawyer. "I know him too."

"You! You were on the freighter! Do you know how to get back there?" Sawyer asked excitedly.

Was he serious? "Why would you want to go back there?"

"Were you not just listening, Benedict Arnold? I'm going back for Juliet!"

"The one my son just said was an Other? You're going back for her?! After what they did? After the kidnapping that you _witnessed_? After the killing?"

"How does that make them any different then you!?" He shouted. If Sayid wasn't still holding him prisoner, he would have jumped on me too. "The only person Juliet ever killed was the man who was trying to kill me and Kate. Trying to kill us for escaping the place that _you_ sent us to!"

"Hey!" Hurley tried to interrupt.

"I only did what I had to do!"

"Hey!" Hurley tried again.

"Oh, really? Did you _have_ to shoot them?" He asked, nodding to Libby.

"HEY!"

We stopped and looked over at Hurley, who was still holding onto Libby, tears in her eyes. "Enough!"

Sawyer glared at me and I glared back. Security was heading our way. I'm surprised it took them this long to care. "I don't know how to get there, I was just workman," I mumbled.

"Everything alright here?" the security guard asked.

"Just dandy!" Sawyer smiled mockingly.

The guard looked from Sayid's hands locked around Sawyers to my protective hold on Walt to Jack's bloody face. "Why don't you guys get out of here." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, why don't we?" Sawyer forced his way out of Sayid's loosening grip.

"I think we should all go somewhere where we can talk about this more," Jack spoke up.

"Oh, yeah, Doc. A field trip sounds like a perfect idea right now!"

"Look, Sawyer, I'm beginning to remember, as I'm sure many of us are. I know this is hard for you. I know you blame me, as you probably should. But I also know that if it's coming back to us, we need to talk about it. And if we want to fix the problems we-" a glare from Sawyer made him change his wording- "_I _created, we have to figure this out together."

"Maybe 'live together, die alone' was true back there," Sawyer said softly. "Maybe you were leader there, but this is the real world. You're a doctor, nothing more. You have no power over any of us. You don't make the rules anymore."

"Dude, I think Jack is right. I mean, if you want to get back, we need to come up with something together."

He looked from Hurley to Libby to Sayid to Claire and Charlie. They all nodded in agreement.

"Well alright then," Sawyer sighed. "Where we off to?"

"I saw Sun and Jin go into the café down there," Sayid said, pointing to the little coffee shop near the escalators. "Maybe we can see if they'd like to join us?"

"Sounds like a plan," Jack said. "Let's go."

We all followed Jack just like old times. Walt was looking at me, eyes full of pity and compassion. Great, now I had my son feeling bad for me because I killed a girl, _two_ girls. Ana Lucia seemed to have left already, but I knew I needed to talk to Libby. What was I supposed to say? I'm sure I'm the only person in the history of the planet that would have to apologize to someone for killing them. And it was not going to be easy.

We had only made it a few steps before a voice stopped us. "Excuse me, mind if I tag along?"

We all turned.

"Oh...My...God." Rose gasped.

Standing before us was John Locke, pushing a wheel chair full of luggage.

He smiled at her. "Looks like our medicine was a little more permanent then we thought, doesn't it?"


	8. Happy and not so happy Endings

_**Hey guys!! Thanks again for the reviews, keep it up!!! And here is chapter 8!**_

_Happy (and not so happy) Endings_

JULIET

"What are you doing?" Desmond asked me as I scaled the walls of the Swan. I heard the faint flipping of the numbers moving back up to 108.

"Juliet?" Desmond called. I continued running my hand across the top of the wall.

"The Pearl," I mumbled.

"What?"

"The camera! They have a camera hidden somewhere!"

"What! When were you planning on telling me this?" He yelled.

"Desmond, it's really okay. The only way they can see us is if they go to this station that they hardly ever use. I forgot about it-" I reached up with a book to smash the lens just barely visible above a book shelf, "-until now."

I stepped down and rubbed my hands together.

"Well how do you know they didn't go there already to see if they can find you?" he argued.

"Desmond," I laughed humorlessly. "They don't care about me _that _much."

"You just said Ben loves you! And how do I know that they don't all remember and you're still working for them?"

"If I was then why would I break their camera?" I crossed my arms and waited for his response.

"I don't know, a ruse? They probably have another one around here and you're just trying to get me to think you're on my side."

I couldn't believe this. "Desmond, why would I do that?"

"You've done it before! Maybe now that we're back to when you were still with them, you're with them again."

"Desmond that was three years ago!"

"No Juliet," he snapped. "That was three months in the future." With that he stormed into his room and slammed the door behind him.

I slid to the floor, leaning my head against the couch and hugging my knees to my chest. This couldn't be happening. Not again. Back at the beginning, I had worked so hard to gain everyone's trust. It took weeks of having everyone but Jack out to get me before I was finally accepted.

I couldn't help but smile, remembering my earlier relationship with Sawyer. He was the worst. He wouldn't even look at me. It was so obvious that he wanted me dead. I gave up on him eventually. I figured I could get everyone except him and most probably Sayid to eventually be okay with me, and then they'd have to deal with it. I never would have thought he'd be saving me from flaming arrows, begging me not to leave on the sub, cooking me dinner at night, and waking up next to me in the morning.

I groaned and laid my head against my knees. This was all my fault. When they came back, when Kate was here, I lost it. I thought I was just a backup and I wanted to save myself from all of the pain.

_If I never meet you, then I'll never have to lose you._

He loved me. I could see it at the very end. When I was falling, I knew. I wasn't second pick, at least not anymore. Those three years truly had changed him. Of course he'd always feel something for Kate, but that didn't mean it was enough to change anything.

I always knew. I knew he would never leave me. But I had tricked myself into believing that he would always want to. Because I was so certain of the life we had set up in the Dharma initiative, and when Jack and Kate were back, all of it fell apart. I didn't know anything for sure. And that scared me more than anything else.

I was able to deal with it before then. I was able to deal with it when they all wanted me dead and I realized that Jack was only protecting me to help him get over Kate. I was able to deal with it because I didn't love Jack.

And I loved James.

I was lying on the couch, trying to pretend I didn't see Desmond standing awkwardly in the archway.

"Reading?" he spoke at last.

I held up the book without taking my eyes off the page. "Grapes of Wrath," I said monotonously. "It was the next book on the list for mine and Sawyer's book club."

"You had a book club?"

"We liked to read." I turned the page noisily.

Desmond sighed and came to sit on the edge of the couch. "Look Juliet, I'm sorry. I know your telling the truth. I know you'd never go back to being one of them. But you have to understand, my child, he _doesn't exist_. Sawyer, he's out there somewhere. But my son, he's not anywhere on this godforsaken planet."

I put the book down and sat up. Over the years, I'd seen a good handful of people lose their children. But this, this was something entirely different. I couldn't even imagine.

He needed someone to blame and to blow up at. And, looking at him, I couldn't mind that that person had to be me.

I moved over to him, not really sure what to do. His elbows were resting on his knees and he was crying soundlessly into his hands. After a few moments of moving me hands up to hug him and then pulling back, I finally managed to wrap my arms around his back.

"I'm so sorry, Desmond," I whispered. "But, somehow, this will all workout." I'm sure he was no more convinced then I was, but I it was all I could think up.

We sat like that for a while before he turned to return the hug. "Thank you, Juliet. I don't know how I would be able to go through this alone."

ROSE

I only had a vague idea of what everyone was talking about. To be honest, I don't even understand how I had ended up in the crowd. I had heard the familiar barking and knew, even before the boy called out, that it was Vincent.

I was reaching down to get Bernard's navy blue suitcase off the carousel when he tugged at my sleeve.

"Rose," he whispered. "Isn't that our dog?"

I dropped the suitcase to the ground and looked at him. "We don't _have _a dog, Bernard." But even as the words came out I knew they weren't true. This dog, Vincent, had once lived under our care. I just didn't know when.

"Come on." Bernard was already dragging me toward the boy and dog.

More people came. A couple, the girl pregnant, joined the child. A blonde girl came after the dog, and two men came after her. The man who had sat next to me followed the three, then the guy who had had the panic attack and a young blonde woman. They all seemed so familiar, but I couldn't place a single one of them.

And all the while that they were talking gibberish about an island and kidnapping and a Juliet and Others, I felt like it should make sense to me.

Then suddenly, we were all being led to a café. I could have left, just gone out with my husband, hailed a taxi, and left all of this nonsense behind, but I couldn't. I couldn't get myself to just turn away.

"Excuse me," someone called from behind. "Mind if I tag along?"

I turned to see a bald man with a load of luggage stacked up in a wheelchair. The first thing I recalled was seeing him hours before, reaching down from his chair to hand me my pills. And then, everything rushed back in all at once, millions of images fighting to grab hold of my attention.

"Oh…my…God." He could walk. The island had done more then we believed possible. It didn't just give us what we needed while we were there, it healed us. Really, truly fixed us.

I was free.

He turned to me and grinned. "Looks like our medicine was a little more permanent then we thought, doesn't it?"

"Mr. Locke!" Walt beamed.

"Hi Walt," he smiled at the child. "You look…younger."

Walt laughed once. Michael, glaring at Locke, put an arm around his son and moved him back a few paces.

"Locke," Jack said indifferently.

"Jack." Locke responded. They starred at each other, unmoving.

"Jack, Locke. Locke, Jack. Can we get on with it already!" Sawyer pushed his way to the front of the group and continued the journey.

"Hey, you okay?" Bernard wiped a tear off my cheek with his thumb. I hadn't even realized I was crying.

"Yes," I laughed. I couldn't stop. Bernard stared at my doubtfully and worriedly as I let out my hysteria. My entire body felt young again. I hadn't felt this good since I was a child. I was healthy, and I didn't have to be stuck on an island in order to be so. "I'm fine Bernard. Everything is fine. No more cancer, no more mysterious islands, no more having you sign up for death trips or living in an abandoned cabin." I laughed once more. "We're fine, Bernard. We have three more years to live, and we get to live it together, in our own home." I smiled up at him. "I love you, Bernard."

He leaned down to kiss me. "I love you too, Rose."

I reached for his hand, about to pull him out to go start living our lives. But then I caught Sawyer starring; his eyes full of longing and despair.

He was alone. And, as little is it might mean to him, we were his family. And after all he did in the last three years; he deserved happiness as much as any of us.

After receiving my happy ending, it was only right to help him find his.

_**This chapter was a little iffy. Again, I suffered from some serious writers block. I hope it turned out okay!**_

_**In response to all of the reviews: I don't think I will get to everyone's point of view, but I'm definitely going to try to do as many as I can. And, at the moment, I'm planning to do a bit of Charlotte/Dan in a later chapter, but probably not all too much. Miles, Frank, and Penny will without a doubt have a major role pretty soon.**_

_**IMPORTAT QUESTION!!! Okay, so I'm going to have to do a chapter on this sooner or later, and I'm desperate for opinions. Now that they are both available, do you guys want to see Sayid end up with Shannon or Nadia? I absolutley loved Shannon and Sayid and thought they were adorable, but my guess is Sayid would be happier in the long run with Nadia?? If all of you can tell me which one (and possibly why) that would be really helpful!! (I'll probably decide based on whichever gets the most votes unless someone has a very good reason why it should be one not the other.) Thank you!!!! **_


	9. New Comers

_**again! Huge thank you to all!! My last chapter received ELEVEN reviews!!!!!! Yay! That makes me so happy! Keep it up!!**_

_**So, clearly Nadia won. I'm probably going to have some Shannon-Sayid action before but in the end, he's going to be with Nadia.**_

_**To MyLuckyWhistle: I absolutely loved your book club interpretation! It made me laugh. And I think you'll be happy to know that this is my longest chapter yet!**_

_**Thanks again everyone!!! Here's chapter 9!!**_

_New Comers_

SAWYER

"_Good Lord, I don't know how much more of this I can take!" I said, slumping into one of Juliet's dining room chairs._

"_What?" Miles asked while digging in to a pile of mashed potatoes._

"_This! Everything! Being stuck in the 70's in this science experiment! I'm ready to get back to my real life."_

"_This _is_ real life," Juliet said as she brought me a plate full of steak and potatoes._

"_Thanks." I took a bite. "I know it's real, but it still doesn't feel like it should be." _

"_As I recall,_ you_ were the one who spent the last three months convincing us all to stay here," Juliet stated._

"_I know, I know. Because we_ have _to stay here. The only other place to go is back to the world of the 70's. And they _are_ coming back." I refused to believe otherwise. "We have to wait for them._

"_Still," I continued. "I want to get back to our time. I'm sick of playing this game."_

"_We all are, James." Juliet sighed._

"_Yeah, well…there's nothin' we can do, so we might as well enjoy it." I raised my Dharma beer before taking a sip. _

_We talked for hours. About the Dharma folk, about Faraday and where he was now, about Locke and Jack and Hurley and Sayid. But, as an unspoken rule between us, Sun and Kate never found their way into our conversations._

"_Do you think if we look hard enough, we'll find her?" I asked after a long silence. It was a subject that no one had ever formally brought up in the last three months of Dharmaville, but was always on my mind._

"_Who?" Jin asked._

_I looked at him. "Claire."_

_I saw Miles twirl his fork around guiltily, even though I was the one to blame for her disappearance. I made Miles feel like crap, gave him a good damn restraining order. Why would he have wanted to help her?_

_Everyone was quiet, staring down at their food._

"_Well?" I asked my voice full of exasperation._

"_Sawyer, I've searched this island again and again. If she was here…I would have found her," Jin said._

_I looked to Juliet, who just stared at me sympathetically. "There's nothing you could have done," she whispered. She looked to Miles quickly. "Either of you."_

_Miles jumped up abruptly. "Well, I better get going." He pushed his chair in and walked hurriedly to the door before stopping. Still looking out into the night, he grudgingly said, "We should do this again sometime. It's nice, being able to get away; stop pretending for a little while."_

_The door slammed shut, and the three of us stared at it. I returned my attention back to them with a sigh._

"_So, you think she was flashing with us? Or do you think she's…dead?"_

_Neither said anything, at that was enough of an answer for me._

"_God damn it!" I shouted, banging my firsts against the table and making the silverware jump. Sometimes-most of the time- I truly hated myself. I should have been more careful. I should have been more alert and I should have searched for her better._

_Juliet put a hand on my wrist. It felt unusually nice there; right, almost. "James, it's over. You did all you could and there is nothing more we can do. You have to let go."_

_I sighed. There was nothing more I could now, but I should have done more then. I could have stopped this._

_Jin left after another few minutes of silence filled up here and there with useless small talk. Juliet got up to clean and I knew I should make my way home as well, but I couldn't get myself to leave._

"_I'll, uh, help you clean up." I stood and grabbed some plates off the table._

_Juliet laughed from the sink. "Since when do you help anyone with anything?"_

_I came up next to her and smiled. "I'll have you know I'm a _very_ helpful person. Once upon a time, while you, Jack and Kate were roaming with The Others, Hugo conned me into helping everyone on the god damned island."_

_Juliet laughed so hard she dropped the plate she was washing._

_I tried to hide a smile. "What?"_

_She took a breath. "How'd he do _that_?"_

_I took the sponge out of her hand, letting my fingers brush against hers. "He told me they were gonna banish me."_

_Juliet almost choked with laughter. She actually started tearing a little and leaned on the counter for support. "And you believed him?"_

_I flung a towel at her. "Shut up, Barbie." But I couldn't help but laugh a little too. _

"_That is the best one I have _ever_ heard."_

"_Yeah, much better than your little 'let's give Sawyer a rabbit heart so he'll die if he gets excited' trick." I retorted. _

_Her laughter broke off completely and she looked up at me with deep, serious eyes. "I had _no _part in that, James." Even though the words were defensive, she said it almost as an apology._

"_I know you didn't," I whispered. And before I was conscious of it, I bent down and kissed her._

_She kissed me back for an instant before pushing me off. "What the _hell_ are you doing?"_

_For the first time in my life, I was truly speechless. I just watched her, my jaw hanging slightly opened. Her eyes were piercing, arms crossed, mouth set in an angry grimace. Was it just wishful thinking that made it look like all of it was just a defensive show? _

"_I'll be on my way," I growled as I turned towards the door._

"_James, wait!" Juliet grabbed my arm and I spun around. In the split second before she pressed her lips aggressively against mine, I saw that all of her heated features had melted away._

_It may have been minutes, it could have been hours, but when we broke apart, our breathing heavy, I murmured against her skin, "Well, if you insist, I suppose I can stay the night."_

_She let out a breathless laugh and we made our way up to her room. _

It made it even more difficult, knowing that in all we'll have to do trying to get back for her, remembering was going to be the easiest part part.

I let people pass me until I was beside the girl I needed to talk to. "Hey, Claire."

She smiled at me. "Hey."

I looked at her pregnant stomach. "How you feeling?"

"Alright, thanks."

"So, do you remember too?"

"Yeah, it's starting to come back. Actually…" she paused. "I believe it was you who had saved me? When my house, um, exploded?"

I nodded, remembering the somewhat decent person I had become on the island. I wondered which man I was now, and which I wanted to be: James or Sawyer. Life was damn sure easier before I was good, well, maybe not _good_, but better. But was I happier as the man who saved lives and did (somewhat) honest work during the day before going home to the women I loved at night?

I came out of my reverie and saw Charlie and Claire looking at me expectantly. "Yeah, that was me."

"Well, thank you."

"My pleasure," I mumbled.

"Wow, Sawyer. Saving lives now. You sure came a long way since my death," Charlie grinned at me.

"Well _he's_ sure taking this all well," I muttered. Which reminded me, "Claire, do you know what happened after we…lost you?"

Charlie was more alert at once. "What?"

Claire ignored him. "I'm really not sure. My father came-" before she could finish good old Jack had to make an uninvited appearance into the conversation. "I'm sorry Claire; did you say you saw your_ dad_?"

"Yeah. I woke up and he was holding Aaron and-"

"Christian?" Jack cut her off.

"Um, I-I only met him once before and I never even knew his name. Sorry." She looked back up at me, and I was glad to see that she seemed just as irritated with Jack's meaningless interruption as I was.

"So, he kind of, I don't know, _lured_ me to this cabin that we stayed at and then Locke came and my dad left and there were these white flashes and the rest is kind off…gone."

"Wait, back up a second sweetheart, _Locke_ saw you there and didn't get you out?"

"Well, he tried, kind of. But my dad told him there was only one question that mattered and he left to, uh, save the island."  
I was ready to strangle the man. He just left her there, knowing damn well she had a baby, and then couldn't even bother to tell us? Maybe I wasn't the one to hold responsible after all.

Jack was turning in a full circle, searching every side and angle.

"Lost something Doc?"

He stopped and looked at me. "Just thinking, Sawyer."

"'Bout what?"

"Well, first off, how I'm gonna get my dad's body; secondly, whether or not I should show it to Claire; and lastly how I'm gonna find Kate and get her out of jail."

"Okay, first off, why in hell would you show Claire senior Doc's dead body? And secondly, Kate killed a man. You are not getting her out of jail unless you want to end up there yourself."

"Well, Sawyer, I've done it before or…later, but either way, it worked the then. And I would show Claire my father, because he's her father too."

"What?" Jack had already sped ahead, and after taking a moment to collect myself, I went after him. I was about to demand an explanation when I stopped in my tracks. At the nearest table, Sun and Jin were eating, hands intertwined in front of them. It was relieving to see someone I could truly call my friend.

"Jin!"

He turned to me. "Sawyer?"

I went up to the two. "Good to see you man," I smiled.

He stood up and shook my hand. I was glad to see things work out for him, even if they made my situation feel a whole lot worse.

That's one point for James.

Sun was looking at me with a mix of shock, confusion, and slight recognition.

"Sun." I nodded to her.

I heard a familiar voice from behind me, one that didn't belong to a person from our flight. "Well this is unbelievably and utterly…extraordinary."

_**So for my last few chapters I've been having unbelievable writers block!! Sorry this took longer than my other chapters to get out. I would literally write a sentence and erase it and just stare at the screen trying to figure out what I wanted to say. **_

_**Hope you liked this chapter. Thanks for reading!!**_


	10. Regrets

_**Hey everyone! As always, thanks for the reviews. I too hated how they all seemed to forget about Claire. They need to bring her (and Charlie) back in season 6!!**_

_Regrets_

JULIET

_My eyelids fluttered open and I stretched out my tired body. I let out a small gasp when I realized I wasn't alone._

"_Mornin' Goldie locks."_

_I clutched the blanket tighter around me as the memories-and rather good ones at that-from last night came back to me. I had a million questions. Was this just a one night thing? Or did it have the possibility to turn into something more?_

"_James," I started. "I'm sorry abou-"_

"_Do you regret it?" He cut me off._

"_What?"_

"_Do you regret it?" He asked, speaking each word slowly and separately as if talking to a child._

_Looking up at him, his classic bad-ass smile and eyes that couldn't completely hide his somewhat anxious anticipation, I couldn't lie to him. "No." _

"_Well then I guess there's no need for apologies is there?"_

_I smiled shyly and stand up, slowly shedding the quilt and letting it fall to the floor._

_I made me way to my closet, feeling James's eyes following me._

"_Don't you have some island that needs securing?" I asked, slipping into my Dharma jumpsuit._

"_Don't you have some cars that need fixing?"_

"_Touché." I turned back to him and smiled._

"_Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"_

"_Yes." I felt myself blush slightly. "But I've never believed them."_

"_Well you should." He came over, snaked his arms around my waist, and put his lips on mine. I enjoyed it for a minute before pushing him away and saying, "We need to get to work."_

"_Yes Ma'am." He grinned at me before throwing his shirt on and following me outside._

_I went with him to get his jumpsuit from his own home even though the motor pool was the other way. He smirked at me. "Resistant to leave me, I see."_

_I swatted his arm. "Shut up."_

_He just laughed._

_By the time we got out, both dressed for another day in Dharmaville, Miles was parked outside the house._

_James turned to me. "Meet you for lunch?"_

"_Like always," I laughed, amused at his sudden change in character._

"_Right," he grinned. "Like always." He ran his hand across my cheek._

"_You're being too nice," I joked. "Should I be worried that I'm just a victim to one of your famous cons?"_

"_Even if you had any money," he paused for a kiss, "It wouldn't do me any good here."_

_I smiled and we kissed once more before he jumped into the car and waved as they drove off. The last thing I heard was Miles chuckle and say, "I've been waiting for that since the day we got here."_

_I laughed to myself, wondering if everyone knew we were meant to be before we did._

"_You and LaFleur, huh?" _

_I looked up to see Amy, holding a mug and rocking slightly on her porch swing._

"_Yeah," I smiled. "Me and LaFleur." _

I sighed, remembering our first day together as a couple. We haven't been separated in three years. How was I going to live without him now?

I took a sip of my coffee, wishing I could make the memories disappear. Sawyer probably had it so easy right now. I wonder if the missing three years of his life even left a mark on him. If he'll even just subconsciously know of the man he had became and stay that amazing, beautiful person. Or will he go back to being a con artist, an angry Sawyer who hated his past and couldn't trust his future? I hoped it was the first, though couldn't make myself believe it. As far as he knows, yesterday he killed a man and got deported from Australia. He has no idea that he saved lives, fell in love, and lost it all.

I heard a loud clatter from the kitchen and rushed out of my new, unfamiliar room.

Desmond was on the floor, one bottle of whiskey in his hand and another lying in shattered pieces around him. He smiled at me before lifting the bottle to his lips. "Hey there, Juliet."

"Oh, Desmond," I sighed, going over to him.

"I was…just thinking about you," he laughed, taking another swig. "You and I are a lot alike, you know. Both trapped on this cursed land. Both lost a love. Both alone. Both desperate, desperate nobodies."

I pulled the drink out of his hands.

"Hey, that's mine." He reached for it limply.

I headed towards the garbage when Desmond called out, lost in thought, "Have you ever thought about suicide, Juliet?"

I turned back quickly to see him twirling a sharp shard of glass in his hand, staring at it mesmerized.

"Oh!" I gasped, dropping the bottle in the bin and running back to him. I hurriedly grabbed the piece of broken bottle, cutting my hand slightly. I lifted one of his arms around my shoulders and tried to pull him up. "Come on, Desmond," I pleaded.

He leaned onto me and let me lift him to his feet.

"I almost died once," he laughed as I stumbled under his weight. "A bottle of milk saved me." His laughter became hysteric. "I was holding bloody groceries; that's why I didn't die when Ben shot me."

I staggered slightly at that, but continued silently. "He was after Penny. Charlie saved her." He looked up at me, laughing some more. "Did you know that Ben has a soft spot for kids?" Mid laugh, he began to cry.

He took a breath to quiet himself as I lowered him down into bed.

"Here we are," I said softly, letting him go.

He grabbed hold of my hand. "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"

I stood there, stunned and unmoving, until the computer started to beep.

Desmond rolled over, dropping my hand. "Can you get that?" He yawned. "It might be Penny."

I pulled a cover over him before retreating to the main room. I typed in the numbers that I had learned long ago and went to clean up the broken glass. Once I finished, I slid into bed and, for the first time, let it all sink in.

It's all my fault. It's my fault that I'm here. It's my fault Desmond is here. It's my fault little Charlie doesn't exist. It's my fault Sawyer doesn't remember me, and it's my fault that he never will. If I wasn't so damn scared. If I wasn't so stupidly scared that Sawyer didn't want me anymore, we wouldn't have dropped the bomb. Jack would have accepted being outnumbered, and James wouldn't have gone along with the ridiculous plan. I was so selfish, and I ruined so many lives. Mine, Desmond's, Penny's.

I let the realization hit me full on and cried myself to sleep.

HURLEY

To someone on the outside, we'd just look like a room full of people. Michael and Walt sat at one table; Shannon, Boone, and Sayid at the one next to them. Rose and Bernard were staring at each other across their table lovingly. Locke was waiting on line, and Jack, Sun, Jin, and Sawyer all stood chatting with the newest addition to the group. No one would have guessed what we've all been through together.

"Here we are," Charlie said, coming back to our table with a tray full of food. "Chicken for you," he placed a chicken sandwich in front of me.

"Thanks dude."

"No problem. A salad for the lady." He handed a bowl to Libby. "And_ this _is for you." He sat down, holding a plate out to Claire.

"Mmm, is that my tuna sandwich?"

Charlie smiled. "Nope."

"But-"

"Shh," Charlie cut her off, placing a hand over her eyes. "Just try it."

She laughed nervously as Charlie placed the sandwich in her hands. "Alright." She took a small, cautious bite and swallowed.

She laughed again, a true, happy laugh. "Peanut butter sandwich."

Charlie removed his hand and grinned at her. "Never too old to order from the kid's menu."

"Have I ever told you that I love you?"

"No," Charlie smiled. "You have not." He leaned over and kissed her. "I love you too."

It was incredible to see them together again. It was incredible to see any of them again, especially Libby. But I couldn't find a single thing to say. What do you tell your girlfriend who's been dead for the last three and a half years?

"Hurley, whose Juliet?"

"An Other," Charlie answered simply.

"Dude, it's not like that." I turned to Libby, taking in her beautiful face that I thought I'd never see again (or at least see _living _again, though Libby's ghost had never come to visit me either). "Juliet _was _an Other, but she was different. She didn't want to be, and Jack brought him back after escaping." She gave me a confused look. "Oh, right, you don't know about that…" Crap. I was trying _not_ to bring Michael into the conversation.

"Hurley, what happened?"

I looked to Charlie for support, who just nodded in encouragement. Thanks, dude.

"Well, um. Michael-" she cringed slightly at his name but told me to go on. "He kind of traded me, Sawyer, Jack and Kate to the Others in exchange for Walt and a boat to get off the island."

Libby was staring at me with wide eyes, her jaw hanging. I could feel her resentment towards Michael and tried to move on quickly. "So, yeah. They sent me back but kept the other three. Jack met Juliet and they kind of, you know, became more then friends. So when he returned, he brought her with him. At first no one trusted them and she was still kind of working for them. But then she turned good and when me, Kate, Aaron, Jack, Sun, Desmond and Sayid got off the island, Juliet stayed with the ones we left behind in the seventies and her and Sawyer fell in love I guess."

"Wait, what?" The three asked simultaneously. Shit. Why can't I keep anything to myself?

"It's been _three years_?"

"How the bloody hell did they end up in the seventies?"

"Aaron got off the island?"

I looked around the table, not sure which to answer first. I guess the easiest. "Yes, it's been three years. Um, time travel? Dude I don't get it either, so don't ask," I added when Charlie opened his mouth to question me. "And, yes. Sawyer found him in the jungle the day after you went…running off."

Claire was incredulous. "What happened to him?" She whispered.

"Kate and Jack took care of him. Well, mostly Kate, but Jack for a little while. He was well taken care of, Claire."

Tears started to run down her face. "Where was I?" she whispered. "_Three years_. I missed his first birthday, his first steps, first word. What was his first word?" It was a rhetorical question, not that I would know anyway.

"Claire, it's alright." Charlie wrapped his arms around her but she shoved him away.

"No, it's not alright! How could I just leave my own son in the middle of the jungle? I knew what was out there! Monsters, bears, Others! How could I just leave him!?"

"Claire, I don't think you were yourself," Libby offered.

"Exactly." Charlie rubbed her back. "You can't blame yourself, honey. Something happened to you. You had no control."

Claire nodded, trying to convince herself they were right, placing a hand on her stomach.

Charlie looked at me. "How did we get here? How did three years got erased?"

Ugh, this was going to be complicated. "Look, it's hard to explain. But all of us except Aaron were on a flight to Guam when there was this white light and suddenly, all of us but Sun were back on the island in the seventies. Then Jack came up with this whole elaborate plan to get us back so that the crash never happened by dropping this hydrogen bomb into the hatch. Jin and I were tending to Sayid-who was shot, by the way-while they were detonating the bomb. And then there was one final light, and when I opened my eyes, I was back on the plane."

"Oh, so that's why you had your little freak out?" Charlie grinned teasingly.

I looked down in embarrassment. "You saw that, huh?"

"I think everyone did, Hurley," Libby laughed.

I cracked a smile as well. "Well in my defense, it's very shocking to find yourself on an island one moment and a plane the next, having no memory of what happened."

"Yeah, it's pretty shocking to find out you've been dead for three years too."

I gave her my hand. "You're back now."

She smiled at me. "Yeah, I'm back now."

"Where was Aaron when you guys went back?" Claire asked.

"I don't know." I nodded toward Jack. "I'm sure he does, if you want to go ask him."

Claire looked to Charlie before getting up, walking over to the group, and timidly tapping Jack's shoulder.

We all watched as he turned and listened to her words, too far away from us to hear.

"Whose that guy they're with?" Charlie asked.

"You remember Naomi, right?"

"The one who came from that boat that I died telling Desmond wasn't Penny's? Yeah, I remember her."

"Right. Well, you were right, of course. Most of them were psycho's who came to kill Ben and blow up houses and hold his daughter hostage, but some of them were good and really did help us get off the island. That, that's their physicist. That is Daniel Faraday."

_**Well, there you go!! Hope everyone liked this chapter. Surprisingly, very little writers block!! Oh, and I'm proud to say that this is a page longer than my previously longest chapter! Yay! Please review and tell me what you think!**_


	11. Fire

_**Hello all! Once again, thanks so much for the reviews! **_

_**So this chapter goes out to Herlyne (for being such a Dan enthusiast), Girafe13 (for being super supportive from the very start of this story), MyLuckyWhistle (for being such an enthusiastic reviewer), Duskveil (because there are absolutely no hints of a Juliet/Desmond relationship here, actually, quite the contrary :D), and Mrs. Crocodile (for reviewing almost every chapter)**_

_**Thank you all readers and reviewers!! **_

_Fire_

DESMOND

"_Can we name her after my mum?"_

"_Penny, we're not having a girl."I call from the kitchen._

_I hear the paper fall to the table and within seconds her arms are around me._

_"How can you be so sure?" She whispers into my ear._

_I turn around and put my hands on her stomach, which for the last four months has served as a home for our unborn child. "I can feel it."_

_She smiles. "Okay, then, Mr. I-can-see-the-future," I hold back a laugh. She has no idea how true that once was. "What is _his_ name going to be?"_

_I think about that for a moment. "Charlie."_

"_Charlie? Hmm. Why?" she asks curiously._

" _For Charlie. Charlie who willingly faced his death to get everyone off the island. Charlie who turned the yellow light off to get make contact with the outside world, with _you._ Charlie who gave his life in helping bring us together."_

_She looked at me for a moment. "Charlie it is."_

_I kissed her forehead. "I love you, Penny. I love you so much."_

_She moved her arms around my neck and moved her soft lips to mine. "Forever." _

When I had given up all hope, there was nothing left to do but drink. Wash down the memories, make Penny and Charlie disappear. It won't hurt if I don't remember.

I should have known it would have the opposite effect.

I've drowned myself in whiskey, and all I see is Penny. All I hear is Penny. All I want is Penny. And all I've got is Juliet.

Juliet, who is like me in too many ways. Juliet who suffers a fate so close to mine. Juliet who is right here beside me. It would be so much easier if I loved Juliet.

But nothing worth having is easy.

I fall into bed and with the light so dark and my mind so full of alcohol and so empty of sense, it's so easily painless to pretend. To make believe that the arms around me are not Juliet's but _hers. _That the hand I reach for is hers, that the body I complement is hers. That Penny will smile at my adoring words and slip into bed next to me as Charlie sleeps soundlessly and peacefully in the next room.

A loud beeping that a drunk and desperate man could easily twist into the ring of a phone brings me out of one reverie and leads me into another. "Will you get that? It might be Penny." After all, it was nothing more than a simple phone call that had reunited us in another life; one that consisted of possibilities, however small they were. In that life, I was not burdened with flashes of the past, but ones of the future. And the future holds more hope than the past.

I feel something warm fall over me and drift off to the sound of footsteps, scent of whiskey, and images of the two beautiful faces that I will see nowhere again but in my mind's eye.

DANIEL

I opened my eyes in a familiar apartment. I know that if I turned I'd see the large windows full of pictures of me and my girlfriend. I know that in the main room was an antique grand piano. I know that hiding in my closet was a ring that was waiting for just the right moment, preferably tonight. I know that I had the whole thing planned. I know that the girl in the shower down the hall who was to receive this ring was Theresa, and I know that none of this was right.

I couldn't place it. I don't know what was different, but I know it was there.

"You look _so_ out of it right now, Dan," I hear her giggle. I look up from the couch to see her, in nothing but a pink towel wrapped around her skinny figure. And it was then that I _knew_ something was wrong. Because staring at her nearly bare body, I wasn't attracted to her. Not in the slightest.

Instead of her soft blonde curls, I longed to see golden red waves. Instead of her face, I wanted someone else's.

Who's?

And I had no idea why, but something inside of me was screaming to drive down to LAX air port.

I stood up quickly. "Just remembered something important I have to do. You don't mind if I step out for a moment do you?"

"Course not. Want me to join you?"

"No that's really alright," I say, trying to keep the urgency I'm feeling out of my voice. "I better go alone if that's okay."

"No, its fine," she answered casually, not feeling how much seems so out of place right now. "Where are you going?"

"To see a friend," I respond quickly, wondering if it's true.

I run into the giant building, hating how slow everything goes in an airport. I walk through security even though I have nothing but my wallet, and then just stand there. Trying to find someone in this place is impossible. Especially when you don't even know who you're looking for.

I'm about to give up, just go home, propose, and pretend none of this ever happened. That's when I hear it. In the café I almost walked right past without as much as a glance, I hear the voices.

"Jin!"

"Sawyer?"

_Those names. Those voices._

I back up a few steps and peek inside. I recognize almost every face. But the two that make me remember are the southern blonde guy and the dark haired man that looks much more like a doctor then I'm used to.

And, suddenly, it's all there. My entire other life. One where I was a scientist who believed in time travel; where my mother forced me into so much I never wanted to do, where I put Theresa into a coma, and where I lost Charlotte.

And she was back now. She was saved. They all were.

"Well this is unbelievably and utterly…extraordinary."

Most people turned to me. Some of the ones I didn't recognize went back to finding a table or getting online. I saw Kevin Johnson looking at me. What was he doing here?

"Kevin?" I asked. I saw a child- he had to be his son- look from me to him in confusion. "That's not my name man," he said. "I'm Michael." Then he took his son by the arm and brought him to the table furthest away from us, not meeting my eyes again.

I looked over the faces, trying to name who I knew. Jack, Sawyer, Jin, Sun, Locke, Sayid, Rose, Bernard, Hurley. Locke nodded at me and simply greeted, "Daniel," before getting on line. Hurley, who I never really talked to, just moved with a group of three others I didn't know without acknowledging me at all. Rose and Bernard gave me what could be called a smile, but didn't seem to be in the mood to chat. Same deal with Sayid. Jack, Jin, and Sawyer took all of two seconds to compose themselves before joining me, Sun quickly tagging along her husband.

"Daniel," Jack said in confusion. "What-what are you…?"

"Jack. You did it. You dropped the bomb. It worked." I couldn't believe it.

"Hell yeah it worked," Sawyer growled, taking a step closer so that he was hovering right over me.

"Sawyer," Jack instructed. "Calm down."

"Who in hell put you in charge, Doc?"

"Wait," I spoke. "I just need to talk to you."

"Well unless you have some way to undo your undoing, I don't want to listen."

"Jin…" Sun whispered. Looking at her face, I realized she didn't recognize me. Then I realized she was the only one.

"Why do we all remember?" I wondered aloud.

"Well I was hopin' you could answer that same question," Sawyer said, voice full of sarcasm and anger.

I told them all I knew. How I closed my eyes to blink and when I opened them a second later everything seemed wrong. I told them how I had an entire new life, and how it wasn't until I saw them that I realized it was a second one.

"Hold up there, Bill Nye. You have an completely different life? How'd you explain that?"

"Alright, as you may recall, my mother shot me. Somebody killing their own son leaves quite a traumatizing effect on them. It changed who my mother was. Her feelings toward me would no doubt be different when she is not aware that I am going to grow up to be killed by her. Her goals for me will change when she is not expecting me to go back to that island and learn of time travel so that I can get to her in the first place. You see, the crash never happened, time never traveled, my mother never shot me, and so she never sent me back to start the whole cycle over gain. She never pushed me to be a physicist, and my whole life changed."

They all just stared.

I sighed, "Okay, so-"

"Look, I don't care!" Sawyer cut in. "How do we get back?"

"What?"

"The island. In you're oh so extraordinary plan to erase the crash, you forgot about the ones still there. You forgot about Juliet."

I was momentarily speechless. I _had_ forgotten about that. Well, not _that_, but that Juliet and Sawyer had a life together. Of course he'd want to go back for her. Of course he'd do anything to get to her. He'd go crazy for her. He'd talk to the four year old version of her…for her.

"We'll need a boat. We'll need ahelicopter. And we'll need Lapidus."

We had no more than a minute of planning before a girl, only vaguely familiar, comes over and taps Jack on the shoulder.

"Jack?" She asks shyly.

"He looks at her. "Claire? Everything alright?" It looked like she'd been crying.

"Yeah. Well, no. I was talking to Hurley." Jack immediately tenses. The next words are barely audible as Claire holds back another set of tears. "What happened to Aaron?"

Jack sighs. "We took him off the island. He lived with Kate…and me."

"What about after? When you came back?"

"I'm not sure. She left him with someone. Maybe a nanny."

Claire nodded. Then she began to tear up.

"Claire…" Jack awkwardly took a step forward and hugged her.

In the blink of an eye, a short blonde guy was standing before us.

"What happened, Claire?" He wraps an arm around her protectively as Jack moves away.

She shook her head. "Charlie I'm fine." She looked from Charlie to Jack and back to Charlie. "I'm going to raise him," she said firmly, trying to convince herself more than anyone, I'd guess. "I'm gonna raise him and I'm going to be a great mother."

"I know you are, love. You'll be an amazing mother."

"Charlie, I have the choice now. I _can_ give him away, if I wanted. But I'm not. I'm never going to go see that famil-" She broke off suddenly.

"There _is _no family," she whispered. Her breath seemed to get stuck in her throat. "Oh my god there is no family. Because he _knew_ it was going to crash. He _saw _it crash. It was _supposed_ to crash."

"Claire?"

She began to laugh. "Jack, you _really_ went against the workings of the universe. That crash was our destiny, and you changed it. You took matters into your own hands. You played with fire. And it worked. I cannot believe you didn't get burnt."

_**I feel like I did I pretty poor job getting into Dan's head, but that's the best I can do. This chapter was hard to write, very confusing. (As always) hope it came out alright! Reviews are nice!! Seriously guys, if you have constructive criticism i want to hear it. I really want to know your thoughts, including why you didn't like something. Thanks for reading!! **_


	12. Pathways

_**Hey everyone. Thanks for all of the reviews!! I just love getting them!**_

_**Okay, it's my goal to not make a single negative comment for the rest of this story. It's hard because I'm super judgmental when it comes to my own writing, but I'm officially not going to let myself be pessimistic (or at least show my pessimism :) ).**_

_**Anyhow, here's chapter twelve. Hope you al like it. Please review!!**_

_Pathways_

JULIET

_Two months and three days after the initial start of our relationship, James and I were lying on my bed. It was one of those nights when we weren't doing anything; we were just happy holding each other and watching each other and being with each other._

_I was on my side, trying to finish up the latest book club read and James was tracing patterns across my back._

_"James, please," I said in mock seriousness. "I'm trying to concentrate on some very important reading."_

_"Oh, I'm sorry." He imitated my tone. "This better?"He kissed my neck, hair, and cheek then lifted up my shirt, continuing to run his fingers along my back, this time without the fabric between my skin and his._

_"Much," I laughed. I closed my book and turned around to wrap my arms around him._

_"Hi," I said, snuggling into him._

_He ran his hand through my hair. "Can you believe we're here?"_

_"Where?" I asked into his neck. "The seventies?"_

_"No, _here_. I mean, the first time I saw you, you attacked me with you handy dandy taser. Then the second time you held Kate at gunpoint." _

_"That's not true," I argued. "The second time I offered you my water, which you rudely refused, as I recall."_

_"Oh that's right. You gave me your water_ then _you held Kate at gunpoint."_

_I pulled away so I could make him face me. "You know I wouldn't have done anything to her, right?"I asked softly._

_"No."_

_"Well, I knew I wouldn't have to. I knew that as soon as you saw her in danger, you'd back down…" I trailed off and looked away from him, not liking where this conversation was going._

_"Hey," he said, forcing me to make eye contact again. "It doesn't matter what happened. We both know he the other was, and we both know who they are now. And I like this Juliet, regardless of what I thought of you then."_

_"And I like James, regardless of the Sawyer you tried to be."_

_"I didn't_ try_." He said, voice full of anger and hate. "I _was_."_

_"You weren't. If you were, you would have continued with the con that you stopped when you saw the girl had a kid. You wouldn't have regretted what you did to Cassidy. You wouldn't have cared if we killed Kate."_

_"You and your fucking files," He muttered._

"_You're a new man, James. The file doesn't tell me anything about him."_

"_No, it doesn't," he smiled his classic, dimpled smile. "The file doesn't tell you anything about James LaFleur, protector of all that is good and holy in Dharmaville. The file doesn't tell you anything about the man that spends all his time thinking about you. And the file doesn't knownothin about the man who is able to do this-" he pulled me in and kissed me._

_The file told me exactly what Sawyer had done and prepared me for all he was capable of. But I could have read that damn file again and again, and it never would have prepared me for falling in love. _

Remembering. That is how I managed my first night without him.  
I wanted to scream and cry about it. I wanted to get drunk and forget everything. I wanted a shoulder to cry on and a soothing voice to tell me it was going to be alright. But I couldn't have that because in comparison to Desmond, I'm the luckiest one around. So I had to provide him the shoulder and the words he needs to hear and pretend I'm okay.

I'm anything but okay.

I groan as I get out of this new, empty bed and move through the rooms.

Desmond is already in the kitchen scrambling eggs.

He looks up at me. "Hey."

"Hey."

I sit at the table as he puts some of the food on a plate and brings it over to me. "Juliet, I've been awful to you. Blaming you for things, getting drunk and making you take care of me, saying…" he sighs, unable to finish. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, Desmond. I know you've been through a lot."

"But that's the thing," he pulls the chair next to mine out with unnecessary force and sits. "You have been too."

"Desmond I'm fine," I lie.

"No, you're not."

For a moment I just stare.

"I miss him," I finally whisper.

He pulls his chair closer to mine, but doesn't seem to know where to go from there. And in the silence I let every feeling and every thought that I've held back since Kate showed up pour out. By the time I'm done I'm surprised Desmond hasn't drowned.

SAWYER

There are some questions that you need to ask yourself in order to figure out which of lives many paths you want to take. But you lock them up and hide them away because you're afraid of what your answer will be.

Why the hell did I look at her?

Charlie and Claire left quickly after Claire's little destiny lecture. I wanted to talk to Daniel more, but his phone rang and, after giving Jack, Jin, and I his number, he left in a hurry. Sun and Jin left too, and I couldn't blame them. If I just found Juliet after three years, I wouldn't waste any time listening to other people's sorry lives.

Jack left after saying his goodbyes and exchanging numbers with everyone. And so I bailed out on my connecting flight, rented a car and just drove, thinking.

Why the hell did I look at her?

I could lie to myself and say that after a while I stopped thinking about her, stopped loving her. I never did. But I stopped needing her; there was even a time where I stopped wanting her. At first Juliet filled her spot, but soon she rose above it. The things I had with Juliet were nothing like what I had with Kate. And I didn't want to go back. But Kate had to come and ruin everything again.

When I saw her, everything I used to feel rushed back to me. I remembered why I loved her. I remembered every little moment we shared. And I wanted it all again.

It would have been easy if those returning feelings pushed the ones I had for Juliet aside. I would have felt horrible, but I would have broken up with Juliet. I would have made it as easy for her as I could, but I wouldn't force myself into a relationship I didn't want.

The thing is, they didn't. The feelings I had for Kate didn't replace the ones I had for Juliet the way that the feelings I had for Juliet replaced the ones I had for Kate two years ago. The way I felt for Kate just piled up on my love for Juliet until I thought all of the weight might break me.

_Juliet was standing, staring blankly out the window._

_"What's on the T.V?" I walk over to see Kate and Jack walking past the house. Oh._

_"It's over, isn't it"?_

_I look at her, not really sure what she meant. "What's over?"_

"_This. _Us_." She let out a small laugh. "Playing house. I never actually thought they'd come back."_

_I knew, in that moment, how very easy it would be to leave her. She was expecting it. I saw my life unfold before my eyes. I would simply say, 'I never thought they'd come back either. But they have and, I'm sorry Juliet. But she's back, and I can't do this anymore. I'm so sorry.' I would have kissed her one last time, told her I didn't regret a single day we spent together, maybe even cry a little. Then I'd take my things and walk out, go to Kate's place and tell her how I feel. Kiss her like I haven't kissed anyone since the cages, and we would run away together. The two paths were right in front of me, and for the first time in three years, the one leading to Kate wasn't blocked off. They were both here, and I could try to make it work whoever I wanted._

_"So they're back. Nothing's changed."_

_I said the words, and watched as the road to Kate crumbled. A part of me was sad to watch it go, but I was mostly thankful to see Juliet's path with no more damage than a crack. I didn't choose her because I felt guilty. I didn't choose her because I was scared Kate would turn me down or because after three years I didn't know how to be with anyone other than Juliet. I choose her because after three years, I didn't want to know._

So why the hell did I look at her?

*

I didn't know what I wanted to say. I didn't know why I was driving to the police station. But I needed to find her. I needed to talk to her. I needed to see her face again.

I pulled into a parking spot and shut off the engine. What was I doing?

I sat in the empty car until I forced my hands to unlock the door. Maybe if I saw her without Juliet right there, maybe I'd understand.

I walked a few paces when I heard someone say, "You sure you want to do this?"

"Charlie, I'm sure."

I turned to see Charlie and Claire headed toward the building. "Well, well, well. What brings you'll here?"

They looked up at me. "Same as you, I presume," Charlie said.

"Why would you be trying to track down Kate?"

"You don't need to have slept with someone to care about them, Sawyer," Claire snapped.

I was stunned speechless. Was this the sweet, innocent Claire we all knew and loved?

"I need to find out about Aaron," she whispered gently, looking down. I sighed. Okay, she was forgiven. Losing a child had to be worse than losing a love, and I've had much experience in knowing what _that _does to you.

"Okay then. After you" I waved her in front of me.

We walked inside together. "Oh, for the love of God!" I groaned when I saw Jack lounging in one of the metal chairs by the door.

"Sawyer," he nodded. "Charlie…Claire," he said the last two names more as questions.

"Aaron," I filled him in.

"Ah."

"Can I help you guys with something?" we all looked up to see a woman in uniform.

"She looks…familiar," Charlie mumbled under his breath. And she did.

"Well?" she probed, a bit exasperated.

The door opened. "Ma?"

"Oh come on! You've gotta be fucking kidding me!" I cried out upon seeing who walked in.

"Ma, you said you'd come pick me up at the airport."

"One second, Ana."

_**This chapter totally goes out to Duskveil, who sent me the idea to tie Ana Lucia in by having her meet Kate while going to see her mother. Thank you so much!!**_

_**So, at least for now, my plan is to focus on the love…square (because they are just too cool to have a love triangle) between Kate, Jack, Sawyer, and Juliet (I cannot believe I went 12 chapters without doing a Jack pov). So, yeah. Be prepared!!**_

_**Thanks for reading!! Please review!!**_


	13. Glass Window

_**Hey everyone! So, I really did **_**not**_** mean for this to happen, but while I was writing I realized I created somewhat of a love pentagon. Don't worry though, this one gets resolved really quickly! Thanks for the reviews!**_

_**Here's chapter 13. Everyone welcome Ana Lucia into the geometric love shape! **_

_Glass Window_

JACK

My phone vibrated for the third time since I got off the plane. I sighed. I knew I should answer it, but I really wasn't in the mood to deal with real world things. We weren't supposed to remember. The whole point was to not remember. Oh god, this world hates me.

I remember everything. I remember the way it felt to hold her, to read to Aaron, to watch it all disappear. Why was I so stupid? Why was I always so stupid with her?

I had to find her.

I left as quickly as I could and was almost to the door when my phone vibrated again.

I groaned but stopped and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Jack? Where are you? What's going on?"

Crap. "Mom, I'm just getting him now."

"Well hurry up Jack!"

"I have to go somewhere."

There was a pause. Her voice was shaky and slow, carful so that she didn't blow. "Jack. This is your dad's _funeral_. It was _you_ who wanted to have it right after you landed. Jack, you can't just miss his funeral."

"I've already been to it," I muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing. Look mom, I'm getting him right now. I'll get him in the hearse. And I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Jack-"

"I'm sorry, Mom," I interrupted. "But I just, I can't do this right now. I love you." I hung up and powered the phone off quickly. How very wrong I had been, thinking the bomb would make my life less of a wreck.

After many minutes of arguing with the workers, I got my dad's body and had him heading to his funeral. And I was on headed to Kate.

I was only waiting for a minute before Claire, Charlie and Sawyer entered. I was kind of expecting Sawyer, even though I hoped he wouldn't show. But Charlie and Claire, that was a bit of a shock. "Sawyer. Charlie…Claire," I wonder if her mom is at the funeral right now. How will I tell Claire? Should I tell her?

"Aaron," Sawyer explained.

"Ah."

"Can I help you guys with something?" a police officer asked.

"She looks…familiar," Charlie murmured. She did. How did I know her?

"Well?"

Wait a second…she looks just like Ana Luc-

The sound of the door opening interrupted my thoughts. "Ma?"

"Oh come on! You've gotta be fucking kidding me!"

"Ma, you said you'd come pick me up at the airport."

"One second, Ana."

I stared at her. I never thought I'd see her again. To be honest, with all of the Kate and Juliet issues on and off the island, I kind of forgot about her, the way I felt about her.

She looked at me. "Jack? What are you doing here?"

I thought she must have remembered, until she said with a smile, "I'm sorry we never got to have that second drink. Things got a little...crazy on the plane. I felt kind of disoriented." She frowned in confusion.

"Yeah, I noticed that. Maybe some other time."

She smiled and then turned back to her mom. "You said you would pick me up. I was waiting for half an hour. You have _no_ idea what I went through in Sydney."

Her mom sighed. "Ana I'm sorry. Something came up, a murder, I couldn't just leave. Just let me take care of them and then we can talk. Okay?"

"No, its fine," I said. "We can wait."

"No, we can't." Sawyer retorted. He looked at the woman. "Is there any way we can talk to Kate Austen?"

I was still looking at Ana Lucia, and the name seemed to bring it back to her. Her eyes went blank as the months that we cut out of her life played before her eyes. She came out of it with a gasp, and stared straight at me. "Jack?"

I walked over to her cautiously. "Yeah." I pulled her into a hug. "It's been a long time."

"What happened?" She whispered so no one else could hear.

"I'll explain later." I moved away from her. "I have to talk to Kate, can you wait for me?"

"Yeah, I'll be here anyways."

"You know each other?" Her mom asked.

"Yeah," Ana Lucia answered. "We used to. Um, Mom, can you let them see Kate?"

"I'll see what I can do." The woman walked through a back door, leaving us alone.

"Kate's in jail?"

"Yeah. That's why she was on the plane."

"Oh." Ana left it at that. She looked around the room.

"Hey, Charlie, Claire…Sawyer."

Sawyer glared at her. "I'm still mad at you, you know."

"Yeah, good to see you too, Sawyer. So, did you die also?"

"I can't believe you."

"What?"

"You slept with me to steal my gun."

"Oh right, the gun that Michael killed me with. I remember that. Wasn't worth it in the end," she said casually. "You really do know how to hold a grudge, don't you?"

He glowered at her. She smirked. "What? You thought I did it cause I liked you?"

At that moment Ana's mom came back in. "Right this way."

We all followed her into the back room and through a hallway. She motioned to a second room. "In there." Then she and Ana went back the way we came, leaving the four of us staring at the closed door leading to Kate.

"I think I should go first," I offered.

"No way," Sawyer said.

"Sawyer, we lived together. I think she might remember me a little better."

"Yeah, and as I recall you wanted to erase all of the time you spent together. Ever think maybe she doesn't want to see you again after that one, Doc?"

"But-"

"Oh my god!" Claire cut in, shoving between us and walking through the door. Charlie chuckled as the door slammed in our faces. "Don't you just love her?" He asked before following her in.

Great. Nothing better than being alone with Sawyer, waiting to talk to the girl we both love, who at this moment is only feet away.

"So," I started awkwardly. "You slept with Ana?"

He smirked at me. "Yep. Looks like I beat you to it with all three of them, huh Doc?"

"We were engaged," I stated.

"What?"

"Kate. I asked her to marry me, and she said yes."

"Well then what stopped you?"

"You did, Sawyer."

CLAIRE

I stood in the doorway, staring at the white room. There was a desk, a phone, and a glass panel. And on the other side sat Kate. It was hard to see her like that.

"You okay?" I hadn't even realized Charlie had come in.

"Yeah." I took a deep breath and then walked to the seat. I picked up the phone with a shaky hand. "Hello?"

"Hi," she said, he voice confused. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

I sighed, trying to think of a way to get her to remember. "Plane crash, the island, Sawyer Aaron, Jack? Anything familiar?"

"Jack, she said quickly. "And Aaron…and Sawyer…" her face went blank for a few seconds. Then she blinked and her eyes focused on me. "Claire?'

"Hi, Kate."

"Oh my god," tears welled up in her eyes. She placed her hand against the glass. "I really want to hug you right now."

I put my own hand up across from hers. "I know. I've missed you so much, Kate."

"I um, I meant to find you but…" she looked down at my stomach as so many people had today. "Oh, Claire. You have to do it all over again," she said sympathetically.

"I know. It'll be easier this time though," I smiled.

She laughed as a tear escaped. "Yeah."

"Um, that's actually one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you." I suddenly realized how selfish I was being. Kate's in jail right now and I wanted to talk to her about Aaron? "I'm sorry, Kate. I probably shouldn't have come."

"No, please Claire, don't leave," she pleaded.

"Okay, sure," I smiled and settled in the chair, feeling tears of my own.

"So, you wanted to talk about Aaron?" she asked.

"Yeah. I know, it's a really awful time, but I wanted to apologize."

"For what?"

"For leaving him for you to take care off. And for telling you that you can't have him back."

"Claire," she whispered, pushing against the glass as if she could break through it. "He's yours. Of course you'll keep him now." But as she said it more tears fell.

"Kate," I whispered. I was crying now too. What the hell is wrong with Jack? How could he do this to her? "I'm so sorry."

"I'm okay. "She wiped her eyes. "So, everyone remembers?"

"Yeah. It took us a while. We needed something to remind us."

She shook her head. "Of course Jack was wrong. Oh god!" she cried. "What am I supposed to do now?"

I watched as more and more tears streaked her face. It was hard to look at. Kate, who was always so strong. She took care of everything and everyone. She took of my on countless occasions. When I had Aaron, when I was mad at Charlie. She was always there for me. And she was there for Aaron when I was gone. It was so killing me that there was nothing I could do for her.

"You'll be okay, Kate. We'll get you out of this."

She looked at me. "I've always escaped, Claire. I was on the run for years. And even when I was caught, I escaped, the island helped me escape. I used to try to think about what I'd do when it really happened. I never knew. I honestly always thought there was a way I could make it out safely."

"You will. We are going to get you out of here."

She shook her head. "You can't, Claire. There's nowhere I can run. No more lies I can tell. It's over. I'm finally getting what I deserve."

"Don't think like that, Kate. You know you don't deserve this."

"I'm a murderer. Of course I do."

"Kate…" I began to regret every time I judged a criminal I saw on the news. I couldn't imagine anyone thinking of Kate as a killer who deserved to be locked up. Or killed. I shuddered at the thought. I truly hated Jack. Did he think any of this through?

"It's okay," she said, wiping more tears away. "Let's talk about something else. I'm sure there's much you want to know. Ask away."

I thought about that for a moment. "Did you tell him about me?"

She shook her head. "I didn't know how. But, I did tell your mom. She even took care of him for a while."

I gasped and held on to my chair for support as my entire body went numb. "My mom?"

She studied my reaction before answering. "Yeah. I met her at Jack's Dad's funeral."

"She's okay?" I whispered.

"Claire, she was fine the last time I saw her. What's wrong?"

"When? When did you first see her?"

"Um, about three months after the crash…after today."

"Oh my god. Oh…my…god."

"Claire?"

"She was in a coma, Kate. And she's going to wake up! In less than three months, she's going to be okay." I couldn't believe it.

Kate smiled. "That's great, Claire."

My excitement was put on hold for a moment. "Why was she at Jack's dad's funeral?"

Kate hesitated. "Um, I think you should ask him about that if you can."

I nodded, extremely curious. "Um, I think I should warn you, both he and Sawyer are here."

She groaned. "He basically hand me over to the police themselves and yet he still wants to come say hi." She paused. "How's Sawyer doing?"

"He's pretty broken up over Juliet. I'm sorry about that, by the way. I really did not see that happening."

She laughed humorlessly. "Neither did I."

How could someone so amazing have to deal with such a terrible life?

"You know," she said. "Jack says he loves me, but I don't think there has been a single situation where he has ever put me before himself."

"What about Sawyer?" I asked.

She laughed. "When we were taken by the others, Sawyer had a chance to get away. He didn't take it because _Juliet_ would have killed me if he had. And when they were going to kill him, he didn't fight back, he just told me to close my eyes." She began to cry again. "I mean, not that Jack wouldn't have done the same thing, but Sawyer always thought of me. And he showed it.

"The thing is," she said. "I've always loved both of them. No matter where I was or who I was with, I was always thinking of both of them. And now I can't even have a chance with one of them."

"Kate, I _promise_ you, we're going to make this work. Everything is going to be okay. It will." I wonder how I'm going to keep that promise. I probably can't.

"Thank you, Claire. Will you…will you come see me again?"

"Of course."

She nodded and pressed her hand against the glass window that separated us.

"Do you have a particular preference for me to send in next?"

"Jack, please."

"Sure." I tried my hardest to make the damn glass disappear, and when that failed I reluctantly took it away and stood up. I tried to clear my eyes, but I'm sure they're still red. As I walked to the door Charlie moved from his spot in the corner, leaned against the desk, and held the phone to his ear.

"Hey, Kate…Yeah, I'm back…thanks…I'm sorry about this…Don't worry, Jack will find a way to fix this. He always does."

JACK

"Jack, Kate wants you," Claire said as she came out with Charlie behind her. Sawyer groaned as I stood.

"Thanks, Claire." I tried not to pay attention to how obvious it was that she had cried. I braced myself as I stepped through the doors.

I had to take it all in before I could move. There she was, in that disgusting orange jumpsuit, sitting in the other room with nothing between us but a glass window. I sat down and picked up the phone.

"Hi, Jack."

"Kate, I…I don't…I'm such an asshole."

She laughed once. "I know."

"I'm so, so, so sorry. I didn't think-"

"Do you ever?"

I laughed without humor. "I guess not."

"Didn't get your wish, did you?"

"What?"

"You didn't erase me."

I sighed and the tears started to fall. "Kate, I never wanted to…well, I did. Kate, I love you so-"

"Please," she whispered. "Please don't."

"What?"

She looked straight at me. She was crying too. "You have said that so many times. When have you actually showed me that it's true? What have you ever done for me to make you believe it's true?"

I thought over the years, and for the first time realized that all I've ever done was hurt her. Again and again and again, I've pulled her in just to push her away. What I felt for her-feel for her- I've never loved anyone this much. So why couldn't I show her? Why is it so hard for me?

It could be that ever since Sara crushed me, I haven't been able to trust any relationship. It could be that I'm a commitaphobe. It could be that I try so hard to fix every little problem that the whole thing breaks under the pressure. A relationship can handle a crack or two. But I try so hard to patch them all up that I cause the whole thing to crumble.

It could be a mix of them all.

"I haven't Kate. I haven't because I don't know how. But I do. I love you so much and after I lost you, I didn't know how to get you back. So I tried the other way. I wanted to forget you. If I never met you then I'd never have to lose you."

"Jack. Jack, you saw the way I looked at you when you were leaving to drop that bomb. When you came up to me and I thought that…and then you left. Jack, if you just told me. I was waiting for you to come back. But you didn't. You drank and took drugs and grew a beard and went absolutely crazy! I loved you, Jack. But you made it impossible."

"I know. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything I put you through, Kate. And I thought that it was meant to be. I thought I was supposed to drop that bomb. But I wasn't. I played with fire. That plane was supposed to crash."

"Please, Jack no. If you tell me we have to go back I swear I will-"

"No," I laughed darkly. "No, Kate we don't have to go back. But I was wrong. I shouldn't have sent us back. I shouldn't have sent you back."

She tilted her head and stared at me for a long, silent minute. "What happened to you, Jack?" She finally asked. "When we first crashed you were a cute, funny, intelligent guy who flirted with me like an embarrassed school boy with a crush. What made you get so angry and irrational? What turned you into a killer? And since when do you believe in fate and destiny?"

"I fell in love, Kate. And you loved Sawyer. And then you were keeping secrets and I know I overreacted, I do, but it was because I knew that if he didn't jump off that helicopter, that you would have been with him. And it drove me absolutely insane. And then I was already so crazy when Locke told me we had to go back. And he died…and everything just fell apart. _I _fell apart."

"You don't know anything Jack," she said angrily. "You don't know who I would have been with. All I know is that you are scared and insecure and arrogant and I don't know how I ever loved you." More tears came spilling out.

"Fair enough, Kate. Fair enough." I started to stand up when I heard her frantic voice through the phone.

"Jack, wait. I don't want you to leave like this. I don't know what is going to happen to me and…and," she began to sob. "I need you."

"Kate," I whispered. It killed me to see her like this. "Shh, Kate I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." I put my hand up to the window.

"I hate this stupid glass!" She screamed, putting her hand up to mine.

"Everything is going to be okay, Kate."

"Stop saying that! I killed people, Jack. This _isn't_ going to be okay."

"Kate, listen to me. We _will_ fix this. I'm not leaving you. Not this time."

"Jack," she whispered. "Jack, I love you. I don't know why or how, but after all you've put me through, I still love you."

"I love you, Kate. You're so right about me, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. But I promise this time, I _will_ come through for you. This time, it's going to work."

She just nodded and cried.

"Do you want me to send Sawyer in?"

She nodded again.

"Okay." I slowly moved my hand down the glass, and hers traveled with it like a magnet. "I'll be back," I whispered before pulling away.

"Okay."

I walked to the door and couldn't get myself to look back.

"Sawyer. You're up."

_**Longest chapter!! I just watched the Sawyer and Ana episode (I didn't remember that before) and I just couldn't resist putting it in!**_

_**I actually almost cried while writing this (I'm such a nerd). Um, I don't have too much knowledge on the workings of jail, so some of this might be unrealistic, so just go along with it please! Please review!!! Thanks so much for reading! **_


	14. Finalizations

_**Hey everyone! Thanks so much for the reviews! Keep sending them please!!**_

_**So, I was finally smart enough to make some sort of outline, so I have this whole thing planned out now! I'm excited. At the moment I am planning on having two parts (part 1: Destination LA and part 2: Destination the Island). I'm leaving for three weeks starting the 17**__**th**__**, so I'm updating as quickly as i can to get as much of part 1 up as I can before then.**_

_**Also, I edited the Ana/ Jack reunion because I realized that they had already met at the bar that morning.**_

_**Anyhow, here is chapter 14, which focuses on Sawyer and Kate. Next chapter is Claire, Jack, and Ana. Then I'm planning to backtrack a little for Sayid, Shannon, Sun and Jin for the upcoming chapters. **_

_**Well, enough with this. Here's chapter 14. Enjoy! **_

_Finalizations_

SAWYER

I made my way into the room. I've got no idea what to expect, but I need to do this. If I can just talk to her, maybe I can figure myself out. Although Juliet was the best at that. With Kate, I never knew who I was.

I sat down across from her and grabbed the phone.

"Hi James."

"Hey, Kate. How you holding up?"

"Fine," she lied. Her eyes were red and I could still see where tears had marked her cheeks. "How are you holding up?"

"Fine," I lie.

"I'm sorry, Sawyer."

"For what?"

"For not getting to her sooner. For not getting the chains off."

I sighed. "It doesn't matter. Whether you got them off or not, we'd still be here, and she'd still be here."

"I'm sorry for coming back."

Now that, _that _is something they all need to be sorry for. "Yeah, well. What can we do?" We sat in silence for what felt like hours. "I'm sorry to, Freckles."

"What do you have to be sorry for Sawyer?"

"The Doc says it's because of me that you two broke up. Don't exactly see how that coulda happened, seeing as I was in the seventies on disappearing island. But, as many things as that guy is, Jack isn't a liar. So, whatever I did, I'm sorry."

Kate closed her eyes and shook her head. "Don't listen to him, James. We didn't work out because of _him_."

"What happened?" I whispered.

She looked up at me, and I could see she was tearing up again. "We got in a fight."

Well yes, that much I could have figured out. "About?" I probed.

She looked down and twirled a piece of hair around her finger. "He wanted to know where I was, what I wasn't telling him. I told him I was keeping my promise to you, but he wouldn't accept it. I wouldn't tell him, I said you wouldn't want me too. And he got mad and…it never got resolved."

When I was able to speak, my voice full of pity. "Well damn Freckles, that was it? You could have just told him."

"No, Sawyer. It was because _I _didn't want him to know." She looked up at me, eyes full of ancient sadness. "That was my only connection to you. I-I didn't want him to be a part of it."

I felt a sudden wave of sympathy. Kate had never gotten over me, just like I had never fully gotten over her. But she couldn't move on. When I was able to push my feelings aside and love someone else, hers broke her. And when she came back, I wasn't there for her.

And, apparently, I wasn't there for Juliet either.

Could I do anything good for anyone?

"Freckles…"

"Its okay, Sawyer. It's over."

I sighed. "I'm sorry anyway. You know, what happened with me and Juliet ain't so different. It's your fault we broke up."

"What?"

"I looked at you, Kate. When Bernard was talking about being together, she looked at me and saw me looking at you. So she thought I loved you. Which I do…but it's different. So she wanted to erase it. She said if she never met me she'd never have to lose me."

Kate started laughing. "That's _exactly_ what Jack just said to me."

I laughed slightly before continuing seriously. "But the thing is Freckles, I can't for the life of me figure out why I looked at you. I think…I think she misunderstood. I think I looked at you because a part of me wanted to be with you, but I a bigger part of me wanted Juliet. I think…I think I _needed _to look at you to make it final. I think I looked at you as a goodbye."

"And I think I didn't look at you because I was thinking about Jack."

"Jesus Freckles," I groaned. "Why couldn't we figure this out twenty four hours ago? When she said she saw me look at you, I didn't know why. I hesitated before saying anything because I thought that maybe if I looked at you it meant I _did_ want you. But, it's not…Freckles, she said that I would stay with her if she let me, and it's true. But she doesn't get it. She doesn't get that if she doesn't let me, I'm nothing."

"Sawyer..."

"If I could have shown her that, we could have stopped Jack, and none of this would have happened."

"Look, Sawyer, I know both of our lives suck right now, but think about it. Claire, Charlie, Shannon, Boone, they're all alive. Sun and Jin are back together. What we did, it was for the better."

"I'm going back for her," I stated, more for myself then for her.

"Can you?"

"We found Daniel. He got there before, he can do it again."

"I hope it works," she says.

"Kate, I'm going to get you out of here too."

"Sawyer," she whispers. "Please, they've all said that. I just need someone to tell me the truth. There's nothing you can do, is there?"

I sighed and shook my head. I couldn't lie to her. "No, there's not."

She nodded as a tear fell down her face and smiled a week smile. "Thank you, Sawyer."

I was about to say goodbye, when a thought came to me. "Freckles…" I pondered. "You said that Jack gave you the whole never-meet-you-never-loose-you thing?"

"Yeah?" she said, her curiosity making it come out as a question.

I laughed as the whole mess the four of us created for each other suddenly cleared itself. "I think I get it. You and I, we are so alike. And Jack and Juliet are too. We wanted someone we could relate too. That's why I could never let go of you, and you couldn't ever me. That's why Jack and Juliet had a fling. But what all of us really needed was someone to balance us out."

It all made sense. I loved Kate because she understood me, but we would have never worked out. We could talk and play never have I ever, but we couldn't have had anything.. Just look at the facts. The only times we slept together was when she thought I was going to die and when she saw Jack and Juliet.

We may have loved each other, but what we had wasn't love. What we shared was two people searching for themselves by looking into the other. But we couldn't fix each other. If we ever had the chance to have something, it would end with us crushing the other to pieces.

When I was with Juliet, I was happy. Sure we disagreed half the time and she drove me insane, but we always had each other's backs. At least almost always…

"We're such a screwed up pair, Freckles. Why is it so damn hard to figure ourselves out?"

"We're complicated people, James. What fun would the world be if it was all black and white?"

"It would sure be easier than this."

She looked me in the eyes, right into me. "And what would we have if things were easy?"

I shook my head and laughed. "Not in jail."

Kate smiled the first real smile I've seen on her in a while. Three years maybe.

"I-I love you, Freckles. And it would damn sure be easier if I didn't. But I'm going to find Juliet. I'm going to find her because I love her too. What I had with her, I've never felt for anyone. I love her and I want her and I need her. And I don't know why I'm telling you this, but I need to tell someone."

"Its okay, Sawyer. I love you, too. But we'd never work out. I think, I think I could have made it work with Jack if I didn't feel like we left off so…incomplete. You kissed me and you jumped. I think I needed this. I think I needed that goodbye look, too. We needed it to be final before we could move on."

I nodded solemnly. We both needed this, but it didn't make it any easier. I lifted my hand to the glass. "Goodbye Freckles."

She put her hand to mine from the other side. "Goodbye Sawyer."

Then, without any hesitation, we simultaneously pulled our hands away.

_**Okay, so that is what I think about Sawyer and Kate. Hope you all liked this! Please review!!**_


	15. Connected

_**Hey everyone! Thanks for all of the great reviews! I'm kind of sad that some of you seem to dislike Kate. She's always been one of my favorite characters (except for maybe this season, Sawyer and Juliet quickly topped Jack and Kate). Glad to see, however, that most of you like my version of her!**_

_**So, I'm going to try to keep this as in character as possible. Just for the last chapter I felt that things needed to be said that they wouldn't usually say. Anyhow, this chapter is about Ana Lucia, Jack and Claire. Enjoy!!**_

_Connected_

JACK

I made my way back into the front room. Claire was pacing the small grounds.

"Claire?"

She turned to me, but just then the bathroom door opened.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey," Charlie responded, seemingly confused by the anxiety in her voice.

"You alright?"

"Yeah," he said cautiously.

"You can tell me anything. You knew that, right Charlie?"

"Claire," he laughed. He pulled her into his arms, seeming to understand what I still did not. "Come here. I'm done, alright? I know that _technically_ it's only been an hour since my last fix, but I feel like I've been clean for years." He rubbed her back soothingly and kissed her cheek. "I learned my lesson. No more secrets. It's over."

"Right," she whispered. "Right." She held him a moment longer, then she turned back to me. "Jack, we need to talk."

"Okay."

"Kate said I should ask you why my mom was at your dad's funeral." She hesitated. "Why was my mom at your dad's funeral?"

I sighed. "You want to sit down?"

"I'm fine," she snapped.

"Okay. You said you only met your dad once? That's because he had another family…_my _family."

"What?" Claire asked, deciding to take my advice after all and sunk into the nearest chair.

"At my dad's funeral, a woman came up to me. She told me she had an affair with my father. And she said I had a sister who died in the plane crash. Claire, that was you." I paused, waiting for an emotion. Charlie sat next to Claire and wrapped an arm around her as she stared blankly ahead of her.

"We're…you're my…my dad's…we're related?" she finally managed.

I nodded, not really sure what how to respond.

She put her hands to her head. "Wow. _Wow._ That is so…_weird_."

I let out the breath I was holding with a laughed. "Yeah. It is."

"So you're my half brother? I have an older brother."

"Yep."

"Wow. That's um…it's kind of nice actually. I mean, it could be worse. We already know each other. We've already lived together, in a sense. We've helped each other, or you've helped me. We like each other, I think. And there have been times when I…didn't like you all that much. We've already completed most of the brother-sister steps."

I laughed again and she joined in.

"You know, on the island, we were sort of family. So, I guess this isn't the biggest change in the world."

"No, I guess not." I was completely surprised at how well she was taking this.

"Um, can I…?" She stood up and hugged me, a little unsure and uncomfortably. I wrapped my arms around her, glad she was so accepting.

"Welcome to the family, Jack," Charlie smiled, patting my back.

"You know, you're not actually family, Charlie," Claire laughed.

"_Yet_," Charlie beamed.

Claire let go of me. "Do I sense an offer in there, Charlie?"

"Maybe," he grinned mischievously.

Claire slapped his arm playfully. "Fine then, make me wait."

"You won't be waiting long," he promised.

"Um, Claire? The funeral is actually happening right now. Do you want to…?"

"She nodded. "Yes."

"Okay then, let's go." We walked to the door. "Oh, wait. Ana-"

"What about Ana?" The door opened and she walked through the room.

"Hey. Look, Claire and I have to get to my Dad's funeral, but you can come along if you still want to talk."

"Let's do it. I need to get out of here anyways."

She made her way past us and out the door. Claire and I looked to each other before following.

Charlie and Claire followed in their car, giving Ana and I some time alone.

"Let me get this straight," Ana Lucia said disbelievingly from the passenger's seat. "You, Sawyer, and Kate got taken to the Others, where you met Juliet. When you got out, you took her with you. Then a boat came. They worked for Desmond's girlfriend's Dad, who had sent a fake Oceanic 815 to the bottom of the ocean. These people got six of you and Desmond off the island you all and became the _Oceanic Six_? You were off the island for three years, before Locke came to tell you all that you had to go back. Then he died, and you worked with Henry Gale, who is actually _Ben_, an Other leader, to bring them all back to the island. There was a white light on the and then you, Sayid, Hurley, and Kate ended up in _1977_, which also happened to be home for Sawyer, Jin, Juliet, and a guy from the boat. But Sun and _Ben_-" she said the name like it was poison- "who were also on the plane were not there. Then _another_ boat guy came with a plan to send you all back to 2004, which somehow involved getting killed by his mom and setting of a hydrogen bomb. The bomb didn't work at first, Juliet fell down a hole, and then yet another white light came, so the bomb _did_ work, and you all woke up on the plane?"

"Yep, that pretty much summarizes it all."

Yeah, I think I'm just gonna go with the theory I am dreaming this all up."

"That would be nice," I chuckled. "But trust me your not."

"I know. I'm not that creative _or _that crazy."

I laughed.

"So, if it's 2004, Desmond and Juliet are still on the island?"

"Yes," I said sadly. I really was only thinking about myself when I set that thing if. "That's why Sawyer so desperately wants to get back."

"Do you think he will?"

"I don't know. It was a hell of a lot of trouble the last time."

"But you did it."

"Yes, we did." But we shouldn't have.

"You shouldn't regret it, Jack."

I looked to her.

"Yeah, you screwed up four lives, but how many people were on that plane? Like, three hundred? And in the end there were what, ten survivors? And you said that boat exploded, right. So you saved like, four hundred people. Yeah, you did it for selfish reasons, but a lot of people owe you their lives right now. You should be getting thanked for what you did. Thank you, Jack. For giving me my life back."

"Your welcome," I said, eyes on the road ahead of me.

"So how does it feel?"

"How does what feel?"

She grinned. "Being three years younger."

I laughed. "Good. It feels damn good, Ana."

I gave her a sideways glance. She was smiling out to the road. She was right, I guess. I did more good than harm.

So why do I feel like I didn't?

I knew, I just didn't want to admit it.

Because one of the few lives I did ruin is the most important life of all.

Ironic, isn't it, that I was willing to kill hundreds of people because of Kate, and now I want to take it back, kill a different hundred people, for her. Or maybe it's not irony. Maybe it's just stupidity.

*

"You know, we aren't exactly dressed for a funeral," Claire said, looking from herself to Charlie to Ana, all in jeans and tank tops and sweat shirts.

"It'll be fine," I promised. It wasn't right, caring so little about the funeral. For my mom, my family and every friend of my father, this is his one and only funeral. But I've done it all before.

We walked in to a room full of people, looking at the body and speaking in hushed murmurs.

I saw my mom, speaking to another woman; look up at me, silently telling me to come over to her. I looked back apologetically before leading Claire to the body. Charlie took her hand in his. He was always so supportive of her, always there when she needed someone. It sent a surge of jealousy through me. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I be like that? How come, even when I want to be, I was never there for her?

For anyone.

I was thoroughly surprised when it was Ana who first spoke upon seeing the body.

"_Tom_ was your father?"

"Christian," I answered, perplexed. Why would she think his name was Tom? I guess he looks like someone she once knew?

"_You're the_ son who got him fired for working while drunk?"

Okay, maybe she wasn't thinking of someone else. "How do you know that?"

"This man, _Christian_, he's the reason I was in Sydney."

_"You have no idea what I went through in Sydney." _her words from earlier played in my head.

I stared at her, my thoughts unclear. "Ana, what did he do to you?"

She shook her head again and again. "We met in an airport. I was a security guard. I met him at the bar, just like with you. He said he was heading to Sydney. Said he was doing something dangerous and needed a body guard and asked if I wanted to come. I knew him for all of five minutes, and said yes. It was so god damn stupid, but I _had _to get away. So I went. We didn't tell each other our names. He said we should pick names for each other. I choose Tom for him and he chose Sara for me.

"For days, all he did was drink. Then he decided it was time to go do that dangerous business of his that we went for. So we drove to some small little neighborhood and he stood on some Australian woman's doorstep, drunkenly yelling something about deserving to see his own daughter. I had to physically bring him back to the car while this girl stood there screaming that he was insane. Then we drove past a bar, I told him I was going home, and he left to get himself drunk again. That was the last I saw of him."

I stared dumbly, processing all of the things that were wrong with that story. Number one, the first name to pop into my dad's head is _Sara_. Number two, he dragged Ana Lucia to Sydney, and less directly her death, s a body guard. And number three, he needed a body guard to go try and see Claire.

Claire seemed to be having the same thoughts as me. "I killed him," she whispered.

"No," Charlie and I said at the same time.

"Yes, I did. He was in Sydney, where he died, to see _me_."

Ana Lucia looked at her in shock. I guess I forgot to mention that to her.

"Claire, you did _not_ kill him. He drank himself to death because he was a sick man." I say much too loudly for his own funeral.

Ana shakes her head some more before running out. I chase after her. "What are you doing?" I call once safely out the door. She skids to a stop and turns suddenly, causing me to nearly bump into her.

"Look, Jack, the last three years, they never happened." She says sharply. "All of us had a life before that crash. I'm getting back to mine."

She starts to run and I grab a hold of her arm. She turns again, just as quickly, and kisses me.

We stay like that for a while, and then she slowly pulls away.

"Sorry," she mumbles. "I've been wanting to do that since," she closes her eyes and shakes her head with a small, humorless laugh. "Since I met you this morning in that bar." She takes a step back. "It's time to move on, Jack. You did it. The crash never happened. Now get back to whatever the hell you were supposed to be doing on September 22nd, 2004." Then she took off again, and all I could do was watch her retreating figure.

"Wow," said Charlie, who was suddenly beside me. I didn't even bother asking how much he'd seen. "And you'd think things couldn't get any stranger once we were off the island."

_**What do you all think? My goal is to get at least ten reviews for this chapter, so please everyone review! I really love getting them, and they keep me writing! Please just let me know if you like it or not. Thank you!**_


	16. Killer

_**Hello! Again, thank you to all who read and reviewed. I forgot to mention last chapter how absolutely thrilled I am to have exceeded 100 reviews! Thank you sooo much to everyone who helped with that! You guys are great!**_

_**So, I'm rewinding quite a bit of time for this chapter. It starts out when they are getting off of the plane**_

_Killer_

SHANNON

Everything seemed off. I felt out of place in my own body. That's not normal; I don't feel out of place anywhere. Except maybe on the island…

I have no idea what island I'm thinking about, but I can almost see it. Running through the jungle. Hearing someone calling my name…but that never happened. Right?

"Shannon, come on," Boone says. I look up to see people already getting off the plane. I see an Arab man walking by.

"Boone, do we know him?"

Boone follows my gaze. "I don't know. Is he the guy you reported at the airport for leaving a bag with you?"

He was. I turned him in without hesitating just to prove a point. Why did I suddenly feel awful about it? Why did I want to go apologize? Why do I want to wrap my arm around him and crush my lips to his?

"Yeah," I answer. "But…do we know him from someplace else?"

"No, Shannon. Can you please get up so we can get out of here?" he asks impatiently.

I glare at him before standing and shoving my way in front of him, but don't get that childish satisfaction I usually do by that sort of thing. I feel…different. Grown up, almost. How could I have possibly changed this much in the last five minutes?

"Boone?" I say, suddenly having the urge to same something I don't remember ever saying before. " I'm…I'm sorry."

He looks stunned. "For what?"

"I don't know. Everything. I really do appreciate what you do for me. Lo-" I stop, confused by the words that were about to come out: _Losing you made me realize that. _When have I ever lost him?

"Are you feeling this?" I ask. "This…strangeness?"

It takes a moment of silence before I realize that he thinks I'm talking about _us_. After all, we did just have sex.

God, was that really only last night? It couldn't have been.

"No, not _that_," I clarify, irritated. "Do you feel like we've been in the dark for years? Do you feel like we're just coming back to life?"

He was quiet for a minute. "Yeah," he finally answered. "I do."

I sighed, relieved I wasn't going crazy. "Alright, let's go."

I'm waiting as Boone grabs the last bag, when I hear a barking. I turn to the sound and see Walt running to Vincent, shouting his name.

I don't realize right away that I shouldn't know their names. Why do I?

Before I can stop myself I'm heading towards the dog. He seems so familiar. They both do.

I stop and look right down at him, and the world in front of me disappears, replaced by a beach.

_I'm holding up a shirt, miserable and alone._

"_Why are you folding clothes?" The boy asks, dog at his side._

"_Because I'm anal."_

_He stares at me, reminding me that I have no idea how to talk to a kid. "Is there something you want?"_

_He looks down at the dog. "I think you should take Vincent."_

_It's my turn to stare at him. We never really talked before. He was friendly with some of the people here, Hurley and Locke. He could have given the dog to one of them, or Jack or Kate. The last person here that anyone would think had the capability to look after a dog was me. I was surprised, and kind of touched, that I was the one he wanted to leave Vincent, who he is so attached too, with. "Are you serious?" _

"_He'll take care of you."_

_I kneel down and run my fingers through his light fur. "What makes you think I need a dog to take care of me?" _

"_Vincent took care of me when my mom died. Nobody would talk to me. They'd all pretend like nothing happened. So I'd talk to Vincent. He's a good listener. You could talk to him about Boone if you want."_

_I feel tears well up in my eyes. I feel like crying for Boone. I feel like crying because I've never felt this alone. I've never been so alone that people think I need a dog to talk to. I feel like crying because Walt thought of me. I feel like crying because I probably _do _need a dog to talk to._

_I pet Vincent. Though I'd never admit it, just being with him makes me feel a little better. Like there is someone I could spill out all of my emotions to, and he couldn't tell a soul or ask questions or repeat a useless apology that I've already heard enough of. _

_I half smile, half cry. "Alright. But only til you get us rescued, okay?"_

_He looks down at the dog, sits, and pulls him into a hug. He kisses his head and then hands me the leash._

That vision is so, _so _clear, but it couldn't have happened. I've never had a dog. I've never talked to this boy. And I've _never _folded Boone's shirts.

By this point more people have followed me. There was an older couple, and a younger one. How do I know them all?

"Cute dog," I finally manage.

"You can pet him if you want." Walt says.

I kneel before him, feeling a very strong sense of déjà vu as I reach my hand out.

Boone is behind me within a minute. The man from before is there too. _Sayid_, a voice in my head screams at me. I suddenly know all of their names. Michael, Charlie, Claire, Rose. I don't recognize the man next to her, but I know that the next to join us is Jack and Hurley after him.

How do I know who they are when I don't even know them?

"Um, excuse me?" A woman comes up behind Hurley. Her eyes meet Michael's and she freezes for a second before walking backwards.

"Hey, you alright?"

She continued walking, and reached for Hurley when she tripped. It was completely silent. Hurley was the one to break it.

"So, like…anyone else remember…an island?"

That does it. Everything comes back in an instant. Sayid, our night on the beach, Boone, holding Locke and gunpoint, ghost Walt running through the jungle, running after him, Sayid calling my name, hearing the sound, feeling the pain, stumbling into Sayid's arms, darkness.

I died.

I was shot. And I died.

I died.

So how am I here?

I look around the circle frantically, and at last my eyes meet Sayid's. I take it all in. Every line and shape in his face. It's been so long. I don't even know. Years? Maybe it's been an entire lifetime, and we've all been brought back for a second chance. Was the island just a time out from life? So we can learn our lessons and be better people when we return?

Why am I here? Why are we back?

"Shann-" Sayid is cut off by Sawyer, the newest addition to our group.

"You know her?" he asks, looking at Jack, who is looking at Kate.

"Yeah, I think I do."

There is a moments silence before the screaming started. "_WHY, YOU SON OF A BITCH!_" He runs towards Jack and knocks him to the floor. I jump back.

"Hey!" Kate yelled from across the room.

Hurley and Sayid pulled Sawyer up and Boone and another guy help Jack off the ground. Sayid's holding Sawyer back, hands as strong as cuffs.

I'm mad at Sawyer for keeping Sayid away from me. I'm jealous of Sawyer for getting to feel those hands around him.

"What the hell's a matter with you?!" Jack shouted.

"What, you don't remember? You don't remember what you did!?"

"Come on, Walt," Michael says.

"Dude, calm down!" Hurley yells.

"Calm down? What right do you have to tell me to calm down?! You got your girl back! You got your life back! You didn't lose anything!"

Walt took a step towards him. "I remember too, Sawyer. I remember you trying to save me when The Others came after me. You're a good man, Sawyer. And I'm sure there is a way. I'm sure you can get Kate back."

"Well that's all fine and good Short Stuff, but I'm not after Kate."

"But…Then who are you after? Everyone else is here."

"That's where you're wrong, kid. Not everyone's here. Only flight 815 is."

Well, that's unexpected. But, as much as I love good gossip, I don't have time for this. Sayid is a foot away from me. I wanted to be with him. After God knows how long I've been in darkness, I need him. I need to talk to him. I need to hear him. I need to feel his lips on mine.

"I don't understand." Walt continued. "Who else is there?"

"Juliet, her name was Juliet."

"Juliet?" Walt repeated. "Juliet was the name of one of _them_. You, want to go back for…_an Other_?"

Oh my god! Does it matter anymore? Can't they just shut up already? I look to Sayid, who is still holding Sawyer back. He looks from Walt, to Sawyer, to me. We just stare. The conversation is still going on around us, and it doesn't sound like it's ending anytime soon.

"Hi," I mouth.

"Shannon," he whispers, almost inaudible with all of the shouting. "Shannon, you're-"

"Alive?" I finish quietly. "I know. I just have no idea how."

"Jack. He did it. He brought us back. Shannon, I've missed you. I've missed you so much."

I don't think he realizes that he is still restraining Sawyer, which makes me giggle. "I've missed you, too."

He smiles at me. I return it gladly.

Hurley's voice pulls us back to the larger conversation before us. "HEY! Enough!" "Everything alright here?" a security guard asked.

_Everything's perfect._ I think with my eyes still on Sayid.

"Just dandy!" Sawyer answers.

He looks at all of us. "Why don't you guys get out of here."

"Yes, why don't we?" Sawyer at last succeeds at breaking away from Sayid, which I am eternally grateful for.

"I think we should all go somewhere where we can talk about this more," Jack offers.

"Oh, yeah, Doc. A field trip sounds like a perfect idea right now!"

"Look, Sawyer, I'm beginning to remember, as I'm sure many of us are. I know this is hard for you. I know you blame me, as you probably should. But I also know that if it's coming back to us, we need to talk about it. And if we want to fix the problems we- _I _created, we have to figure this out together."

"Maybe 'live together, die alone' was true back there. Maybe you were leader there, but this is the real world. You're a doctor, nothing more. You have no power over any of us. You don't make the rules anymore."

"Dude, I think Jack is right. I mean, if you want to get back, we need to come up with something together."

"Well alright then," Sawyer sighed. "Where we off to?"

"I saw Sun and Jin go into the café down there," Sayid says, pointing into the distance. "Maybe we can see if they'd like to join us?"

"Sounds like a plan," Jack said. "Let's go."

We all start walking, and I immediately make my way into Sayid's arms. "I can't believe we're here," I whisper.

"I know. Jack said that he could…but I didn't think it would actually work." He pulls me closer. "I'm so sorry."

"For what?" I ask, looking up at his agonized face.

"I couldn't stop it."

"Of course you couldn't." I punctuate my statement with a kiss. Long and deep and beautiful. A kiss that truly makes me feel alive again.

I release him, and turn to Boone. "I'm sorry," I whisper, throwing my arms around him. "I'm sorry for using you. I'm sorry for never thanking you for all you do. It killed me, Boone, when I found out what had happened. I hated myself. It was impossible, not having you there."

"Shannon, I have no idea what he hell you are talking about."

I step back. "You don't remember the island?"

"No! I mean, I don't know. I remember _something,_ but I-"

"Excuse me, mind if I tag along?"

We turn to the familiar voice.

"Locke…" Boone whispers, astonished.

I don't want to be there. I don't want to be anywhere near him. Especially with Boone back.

I start walking to the coffee shop, and when Boone just stands there staring I grab his arm. "Come on!" I half drag him the rest of the way, the entire time he is looking back at the man who murdered him.

We sit down at one of the back tables, not acknowledging Sun and Jin, a couple of tables down. They don't even look at us.

Sayid is smiling slightly at them as he sits down. "It's nice to see them together again."

"Sayid, do you know what happened?"

He looks at me, all traces of the smile gone. "Unfortunately I do."

It takes him about ten minutes to get through everything that happened in the three years-much shorter than I feared- that Boone and I were dead for.

"That's impossible," Boone states when he is done. I've basically been lost since the part about the boat that was said to be but was not Penny's.

"And who did you say that was, again?" I ask, glancing at the man who has a little group formed around him.

"Daniel Faraday. He is the one who gave us the instructions for the bomb."

"The bomb that rewinds time," Boon says disbelievingly.

"I don't understand it any better than you do, Boone," he responds calmly. "But that's what we did, and here we are."

"Here we are."

"So," I interrupt. "If you were off the island for three years, what did you do?" I did pick up how, after his very detailed explanations, he skipped over his life in the real world.

He looks down. "I did many things."

I can't help but picture him with an endless amount of woman. Why else would he be avoiding the topic? "Like what?"

He moves his gaze to me, anger and sorrow and hate all hidden in his eyes. "Fist I was married." His voice is so low I can hardly make it out. I got the most important world though.

My heart stops. Boone decides he needs a refill and excuses himself from the table.

"You were married." I repeat.

"To Nadia."

"Oh." Embarrassingly enough, my voice breaks. I start to fiddle with my straw.

"Shannon."

I look into his eyes and smile, tears forming in my eyes. "That's great," I whisper, and then I grab my bag and rush out of the room.

I guess I always knew. We'd never really work. There's a whole world out there, and when he's not limited to the twenty something available women on that island, he'd never actually choose me.

I wipe my eyes on the back of my hand as I pass the line of stores.

"Shannon!" Sayid calls. He catches up to me and gently rests a hand on mine. "Please, stop."

I turn on him. "Look me in the eye and tell me that you'd choose me over her," I challenge.

Silence.

"That's what I thought," I murmur, beginning to walk again.

"Shannon, wait! You don't understand how much you mean to me. How much I thought of you over the years. How much I still love you."

"But sometimes that's not enough, is it?"

It looks like he might cry, which is a first in my book. It makes me start to cry more.

He brings his hand to my face to wipe the tears away. "I wish there was some way to make this all work out, but-"

"But you love her. And that's okay, Sayid. It's okay." I take another step and again he stops me.

"Shannon, I've lost you once already. It's not happening again." He softly pries my purse out of my fingers and opens it up. He pulls out a pen and reaches for my hand.

"I know you might not want to talk to me again," he says while etching the numbers onto my skin. "But I'll always listen. Always." He clicks the pen shut but does not let go of me. He looks straight at me. "Call. For anything, whenever. I'll always be there for you, as best as I can."

_As best as I can._ Those five words change it all. I take the pen from him and hold out his palm.

"For anything," I whisper as I begin to write. "Whenever. I'll always be there for you."

I take unnecessary time to write it out, take back my purse, drop the pen in, and close it. When I finally get myself to look up at him, a tear is running down his face.

I'm worth the tears. I'm not his true love, but he loves me. And that knowledge almost, _almost_, makes it better.

I hug him once more, trying to memorize this moment and store it forever. His breath on my cheek, his arms strong on my back, pushing me against him. His hand running through my hair, the tears he is letting out for me.

It wasn't long enough, but eventually I have to let go.

"Please call," he whispers.

I nod. "You too."

He kisses my forehead. "I'll talk to you soon, Shannon."

"Promise?" I ask, feeling childish in a whole different way then usual.

He wipes the last of my tears away. "Of course."

He gives me a small sad smile and I watch as he disappears down the steps.

I lean against the wall and slide down onto my knees. I try so hard not to cry and fail completely.

"Hey."

I look up to see Boone walking towards me. He helps me up and then wraps me in his arms. "You want to go home?"

I nod against his shoulder. "Yeah." I stand straight and grab my suitcase from him. "Let's go home."

SAYID

_You were right about me. I am a killer._

I am a killer. I put a bullet through an eleven year old boy. I murdered more people then I can count in those three years that have not yet happened.

And now I've killed Shannon.

And I've killed myself.

_It's too late to save me._

It is. I may not be dying anymore. I may be fixed. But not saved. I'll always live with what I've done; the things that have already happened as well as the things that now have not. Everyone who was tortured or killed. The millions of lives that are worse off because of me.

Shannon included.

Out of everyone I've ever met, I've only changed one life for the better. And even she died because of me.

It won't happen. Not this time around.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'll always love Shannon. I'll always be thinking of her.

But I came to Los Angeles to find Nadia. And I can't honestly picture my life without her, not when she is so close.

It feels almost sick, to be going to see her only minutes after my goodbye to Shannon, but I can't. I can't go any longer without her.

I pull up in front of her building and wait. She should be off in an half an hour. I try to come up with something good to say, but I come up blank. My mind keeps drifting back to Shannon, then Nadia, and back again. It's too much. It's all too much.

Right when I'm about to pull away, deciding they're both better off without me, I see her.

She's walks out of the door with a man, both laughing. I reach for the steering wheel at the sight, but can't get myself to leave. I just watch her.

He says something else and she laughs again. He smiles, and it is painfully obvious how interested in her he is. She tries to say something in between her laughter and then waves as they steer off in opposite directions.

I push the door opened and run out after her. "Nadia!"

She turns around, still smiling from the clearly hilarious joke. She sees me and the smile disappears completely.

"Sayid," she whispers.

She seems almost in shock, but starts walking and then begins to run.

"Is that really you?" she asks when we reach each other.

I pull her into a tight embrace. And even though I'm not really sure who I am anymore, I answer, "It's really me."

_**Seeing as I was a huge Sayid/Shannon fan, this was really hard for me! I think it's a little out of character, but I hope you still like it! Review please! I really need the feedback, good or bad. Thanks! **_


	17. A Different Past

**_Hey everyone!!! I am so sorry about the long wait. i meant to get 17 and 18 up before i left, but i rushed through them and realized they made no sense, so deleted them immediately after posting them. Sorry to anyone who got alerts for those chapters! Anyhow, i'll have them both up tonight!_**

**_Again, this one starts at the airport. I'm trying to put in all of the pieces I've left out from the last chapters so I can finally move on from the first day. Hope you like it! I'd love reviews!_**

_A Different Past_

SUN

I figured some things out while Jin was getting us coffee.

First off, it was September 22nd, 2004. And everything about that date seemed wrong. Secondly, Jin and I were together again, even though I don't quite know when we ever apart. Thirdly, something is missing. Some vital piece of my life has disappeared like smoke, and I'm determined to find it. And lastly, I love Jin. The feelings that were so unsure just an hour before, the ancient love I was sure I had lost long ago, was back and clear as ever.

He came back and sat across from me, giving me his hand. He was different. He felt it too.

I took a sip of coffee. "Where do we go now?" I asked in Korean.

"Anywhere," he responded in nearly perfect English. "As long as we have each other."

I leaned over the table to kiss him. It was a mystery, how he could speak English, but I didn't care. Something told me that it was only natural his English would improve. _Surrounded by the other survivors, of course he'd learn their language._

The thought came out of nowhere and it scared me. I felt as though there was a whole different Sun in a whole different life.

We ate in silence; both continuously glancing up to make sure the other was still there.

"Jin!" Someone called.

He looks to the door. "Sawyer?"

The man came out to us and held out a hand. "Good to see you man."

Everything about him was too familiar. I've never met him before, I'm sure of that, but I knew I knew him. Somehow.

He looked down at me. "Sun."

How does he know our names? Why is he talking to us as if we are old friends?

Another voice breaks into my thoughts. "Well this is unbelievably and utterly…extraordinary."

I look over at the man who has just entered. Again, I felt like I should know him. But I don't.

He looks around at the group of people who followed Sawyer. He stares at one. "Kevin?" he asks in confusion.

"That's not my name man," the other guy responded. "It's Michael."

I was hit with flashes of images.

_Bathing as a man comes running through the jungle. Speaking in English to him for the first time. Having him __stand__ up for me against __Jin__. Slapping him. Poisoning him, when I meant to do so for __Jin__. Seeing him again on a boat. Watching him try to stop a bomb. Him a__nd__Jin__. The boat exploded. It was the last time I saw him. It was the last time I saw either of them._

Maybe it was clips of a dream.

Maybe it was memories.

Sawyer and another man went to Daniel-the name came to me. Jin went too. I quickly followed, unwilling to have any space between us. I was going to figure this all out.

"Daniel," one said. _Jack._ "What-what are you…?"

"Jack. You did it. You dropped the bomb. It worked."

"Hell yeah it worked," Sawyer said.

"Sawyer, calm down."

"Who in hell put you in charge, Doc?"

More memories.

_This man, Jack, giving us endless speeches. Everyone looking up to him. A man dying in front of me. Jack giving him blood, refusing to let him die. Making him stop. _

We put him in charge.

"Wait," Daniel said. "I just need to talk to you."

"Well unless you have some way to undo your undoing, I don't want to listen."

"Jin…" Did he know what was going on? Did he know who this was and why I should know him?

"Why do we all remember?" Dan asks.

"Well I was hopin' you could answer that same question," Sawyer retorted.

He gave us a whole explanation on his two lives. There was something about time travel. I remember looking at an old picture with a man in an old abandoned house. It was from the seventies.

And Jin was in it.

"Look, I don't care!" I heard Sawyer say. "How do we get back?"

"What?"

"The island. In your oh-so-extraordinary plan to erase the crash, you forgot about the ones still there. You forgot about Juliet."

The island. The crash. Juliet.

_You gave me good news, Juliet._

An ultrasound. A baby. Jin's baby.

I gasp as the memories rush back. Ji Yeon. I remember her.

I grab onto Jin's arms, feeling as though the world might open up from under me.

I lost Jin for three years. I went back for him, and was thirty years too late. I had a baby girl, and now she's gone.

"We'll need a boat." Dan speaks. "We'll need a helicopter. And we'll need Lapidus."

Frank, he was there with me. And so was Locke. And so was his dead body.

I feel sick. I move to the nearest table and lay my head on the cool metal, the last thing I had seen before the white took over playing again and again in my mind.

I was filled with other memories, too. Hearing my daughter speak, watching her take her first steps. All of that disappeared. She was gone.

I hear Claire and lift my head to see her pregnant stomach. I'm hit by a wave of jealousy and tears form in my eyes.

"Sun?" Jin's voice is full of concern as he holds my face in his hands.

"I had her, Jin. Ji Yeon. And now she's gone." _You're here and she's gone._ Was it a trade off? Could I not have both?

His eyes widened slightly before he embraced me. "I'm so sorry, Sun." He is crying too.

"We should have waited for you."

"I should have come out sooner."

I look at him. "You were alive. In the seventies."

He nodded.

"I came back," I whispered. "I was in 2007 with Frank, and Locke, and Ben. And I there was a picture. Of you and Hurley. Kate and Jack…what happened?"

Right before he could begin, Dan came up to us. "Hey, Jin, I have to get going, but here's my number if you ever need it." He hands Jin a card.

"Thank you." Jin shakes his hand and then looks at me once he is gone. "Do you want to leave now?"

I nod. He takes my hand and after a quick goodbye to Jack and Sawyer, he leads me out the door, the two of us stepping into America hand in hand, the way we used to dream of. The way we were supposed to on September 22nd, 2004.

BOONE

"_First I was married."_

Oh God.

"I'm gonna go, um, get something to drink." I jumped up quickly and rushed away. She just got him back, and now he was leaving her. Why does she always end up getting hurt?

"I bought you a cup of coffee," someone calls.

I turn to John Locke, sitting alone, holding a cup in my direction. Was he serious?

"Would you like to sit?"

I slowly walked towards him though I knew I should go the opposite way. I stood over the vacant seat and rested my arms on its metal top. Locke stared at me a moment, then slid the cup to me. I hear running and turn to see Sayid going after Shannon. I'm about to follow when Locke states, almost casually, "I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have asked you to go up to that plane."

"What's done is done," I respond, though clearly that's not true.

"Boone," he says, letting some emotion seep into his voice. "I'm sorry for how things worked out. I'm sorry for what I put you through on that island."

Locke never forced me into anything. It was my choice to follow him, be his hunting buddy. It was my choice to climb into the plane and not to leave when I heard a voice on the other end.

But Locke lied about how I was injured. It was probably too late to save me, but still. He was more worried about protecting his secrets then protecting me. It was partially his fault that I was hurt, and he didn't even stay. Sun and Jack worked over me while Locke wondered undiscovered.

I was a sacrifice. That was all. Locke cared about the island, nothing else.

I met his eyes and held them. "Yeah, I am too." And with that, I left the table without even touching the coffee he so kindly got me. I grabbed mine and Shannon's bags and went to find her.

We were silent in the car. She stared out the window, lost in thought. I looked at her constantly. I had hoped my feelings for her had disappeared, but they hadn't, not completely.

She needed a brother. That is all I'll ever be. And really, that's all I should be. I'm used to it. I'm good at it. I try so hard to accept it.

"I'm getting a dog," she says out of nowhere.

"What?" I ask, coming out of my thoughts and letting her words sink in. "_You _want a dog?"

She looked at me for the first time since we left the airport. "He'll listen to me, without talking back or judging me or anything. For once in my life, Boone, I need someone who will just listen to me."

MICHAEL

Hurley pulls out the empty chair and turns it so that the back faces the table. He sits with his stomach pressed against the chairs back. "So, what was it like?"

"What was what like?" Walt asks, putting his sandwich back on the plate as he finishes chewing his last bite.

"You know, everyone else was already on the island or…dead. What was it like in the real world?"

I sat up straighter, curious as well. Walt glanced at me before turning his attention back to Hurley. "I was in school, talking to a friend by the lockers. All of a sudden there was this white light and a noise that vibrated through me. I closed my eyes and covered my ears. I could distantly hear him asking what was wrong, like he couldn't feel it. Then it stopped, and when I opened my eyes, I was on the plane."

"So no one else could feel it?"

"Apparently not. I think…" they kept on talking and my mind drifted. I gazed around, and saw Locke talking to Boone. I looked to Libby, alone at her table, her back facing me. I sighed. I suppose it's my turn. I stand and head toward her. I feel Hurley's eyes following me, but he doesn't say anything.

Boone almost crashes into me as he hurries out the door. Great.

I look at Locke, and for once in my life we are in the same boat. That realization makes me feel even worse. I'm just as bad as him.

I sit next to Libby. I had zero confidence in this ending well, and after seeing how it worked out for Locke, I have even less.

I open my mouth, but Libby speaks first. "I had a patient once, whose daughter died. The girl's best friend was driving; drunk. The mother told me that she was scarred of herself, thought she was a monster-because of how much she hated this girl. She told me that she had wanted to kill her, this girl who was like a sister to her daughter."

She turned to me, her face unreadable. "It's strange, isn't it, what a parent will do for their child."

I stared, my mouth hanging slightly opened. What was I suppose to say to that? "Look Libby," I started after a slight pause. "I'm sorry. So, so sorry. I didn't-"

"I don't want an explanation, Michael," she cut in. "I know why you did it. There were better ways, of course. I'm not saying I would have done it if it were me or agree with what you did, because believe me I don't. But I'll give you this: the island affected everyone. I don't think you would have done it in the real world. She stood. "We got a second chance. This is a different past, Michael. Let's just leave it at that."

Without another word, she turned and walked away. I watched as she touched Hurley's back and he looked up at her. As she said something to him and he looked over to me and then nodded at her. I watched him stand up and Walt smile as they high fived. I watched Libby and Walt wave and Hurley pat him on the back. I watched as they all waved and as Libby and Hurley took each other's hand. I watched as they left together, Hurley turning to look at me, his face unreadable and then they both looked ahead and let their intertwined hands swing a little. I watched as the broken pieces of life seemed to fit almost perfectly back together.

This is a different past. I can't erase the other one from our memories, and I'll have to live with that. Libby-like I know she would-is never going to forgive me. But she can move on, she can live her life. Things can go differently this second time around.

"Dad? Dad, You okay?" I started, and my eyes focused on my son.

"Yeah, Walt. I'm fine."

"Ready to go?"

"Yep."

He nodded and sped to the table next to ours. I stood and stayed silent as Walt first shook hands with Locke and then gave him a quick hug. Then he ran back to me and I forced myself to wave to the man I never liked.

"Nice to see you, Michael."

"Yeah," I mumbled begrudgingly. "You too."

"Goodbye, Mr. Locke!" Walt called.

Locke waved. "See you soon, Walt."

I couldn't help but sneer at that.

Walt and I began to walk and I draped my arm across his shoulders; father and son, united once again.

***

CLAIRE

It's been two weeks since the plane landed, and things are going great. I'm living in Charlie's apartment, just like he'd asked me to once upon a time. Jack or I visit Kate almost every day. Her trial is coming up and we still can't find a single way to get her to win. The truth is that there is none, which Jack refuses to accept.

But other than that, I'm feeling the best I've felt in a while. Maybe ever. I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me and wants to be a part of Aaron's life, something his own father couldn't even do. I know my mom is waking up soon. I know my baby is going to be beautiful. And I get to have him in a hospital, which will make the whole process a lot easier. Things are finally working out for me.

Charlie has dragged me out to some high class restaurant. I'd rather be home, curling up in bed, but

Charlie wouldn't have that. "Claire, let's go," he had said impatiently, pulling the covers off of me.

"Charlie I'm pregnant!" I argued.

"I already know exactly when Aaron is coming, and it's not tonight. So you and I are going to go out and enjoy a nice meal." He was way too eager, and I couldn't say no.

"Claire," he says now, somewhat anxious, as he puts down his fork.

"Hmm?"

He surprises me by grabbing my hands. "I met you two weeks ago on an airplane, and I already knew I was in love. I couldn't explain it, but I felt like I knew you. And then I remembered. I remembered the life we had together. I remembered exactly why I loved you, and why I always will. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. Twice now, I've seen you for the first time and knew that I'd never want to see anyone else. And if that's not a sign that we are meant to be, I don't know what is."

He pulls out a ring. "Claire, will you marry me?"

I gasp and move my hands to my face as the tears spill over. I am momentarily speechless, so I nod and then start to laugh. "Yes! Yes, Charlie. Yes."

He smiles hugely and slips the ring onto my finger. Then he stands, pulling me with him, and kisses me.

People start clapping and I pull away, laughing and blushing. "You do know what this is going to look like, right?" I whisper to him. "The rock star proposing to a girl eight months pregnant?"

"I know," he says, still beaming. "Do you care?"

"No," I laugh.

He presses his lips to mine once more.

"I love you, Charlie."

"I love you too, Claire." He moves his hands to my stomach. "Both of you."

I smile at my fiancée, forever in debt to Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Juliet. This different past they have made has given light to a new future. One filled of hope and love, Charlie and Aaron.

A perfect family.

_**Review Please! **_

_**I'll have chapter eighteen up soon, writing it right now!**_


	18. Violet Skies

_Violet Skies_

JULIET

"You're sure you want to do this?" I ask.

"I'm sure."

I watch as Desmond hurries around the rooms, making sure we didn't miss anything.

"I can do it if you want," I offer.

"Juliet I'm fine." He moves to the selves and rummages through the books. The beeping begins. We look at each other for only an instant, knowing this is our last chance to back out.

"I'll be waiting at the beach."

He pulls out a book and opens it, pulling out a key. "Be careful. Watch out for them."

"I'll be fine."

The beeping increased, making it all real.

"You really think we should do this?" I ask.

"We have to try."

I look up at the numbers. One minute and seventeen seconds.

16.

15.

"Desmond?"

"Yeah?"

I pause, not really sure what I wanted to say. "Good luck."

"Yeah, you too."

I stare at him, thinking of what we are about to do. Knowing it won't work. I wonder if Desmond even thinks we have a shot. Probably not, and really I can't blame him. If I had the chance to talk to James again, even if he couldn't do a thing to help us, I would take it. I would take it in a second.

We've been here for two weeks now. Two impossibly long and torturous weeks. No sign of any other Others. I wonder what they think happened to me. I wonder if they looked for me at all.

I had hoped it would get easier, over time.

Not even close.

He is my air, and the longer I am without him, the harder it is to breath. Desmond and I hardly ever speak anymore. Both of us are suffocating.

Had I really wanted this?

_If I never meet you then I never have to lose you._

The cruel joke is that I got my wish. I never met him. I never lost him. I just have the memories from a non-existent life.

I was trying to read, with no luck. It all reminds me of him. Desmond was sitting at the table, starring out into nothing; a new hobby of his.

The memory came suddenly, and I sat up so quickly my head spun. "Desmond? Don't you have a boat?"

"Yes." He said, unmoving, as if this meant nothing.

"So…could we not…use it?" I asked slowly, confused by his lack of interest.

He laughed darkly, still no change in his position. "Don't you think I've tried? When Jack first came here, I took off in that boat. And where do you think I found myself two weeks later?"

"Shouldn't we try anyhow?" I tried desperately, clinging onto whatever sliver of possibility we had, knowing it won't be enough.

Will anything?

His only response was turning his head slightly, looking at me, telling me I knew better, and then looking away again. I sighed and lay back down. I held up my book but saw nothing but the face I may never see again.

This time it was Desmond who shot up.

"The Looking Glass."

I looked at him over the top of the couch. "What?'

"The last time Charlie and I went down there he had talked to Penny." He was already on his feet, moving through the tiny room. "How did I not see this sooner!? All I have to do is tell her where we are."

I looked at him sadly. There were so many holes in his plan, but he would overlook them if it let him talk to her. "How will she get here?"

"Charles knows, she can find out from him."

"You really think he'll tell her?"

"Look, she'll find a way! It's the best chance we have."

I stand too. "I'm coming with you."

He looks at me. "What about the hatch?"

I shrug. "Same as last time. We get rid of it."

"And the Others?"

"They basically ignored it last time. True, they were a bit more preoccupied, but I don't think they'll give it much thought."

He hesitates. "The last time I did it, I came out beeing able to see the future."

I considered this. We'd have to destroy the hatch eventually, if we planned on leaving. No one else's lives would be ruined, trapped down here pressing buttons. If we wanted to get to the looking glass safely, it would take both of us, and more than 108 minutes. We had to implode it now. And couldn't it be a gift, seeing what's to come? Knowing how to stop it?

"Would you like me to go?"

"No, I have to do it." Desmond paced the room. He stopped in front of me. "Alright, let's get to it."

I watch Desmond move now, only an hour and a half after we devised the plan. He checks again and again.

"I have everything we'll need," I point out.

He stops. "I know, I know. I just…" he looks at the numbers. "Juliet you have to go."

I nod and take a step back, picking the gun up off the floor. "See you at the beach?"

"Yes! Now go!"

I run out into the jungle with twelve seconds left and keep going until the sky turns violet.

I stop then and look back. All I can see is the trees. My mind wanders to Desmond and the strange relationship we have formed. Two lonely people stuck together in an old hatch. A man and a woman both after unreachable people with only the other in reach. What I feel for Desmond is different from what I've felt for anyone else. Not the lust I felt for Goodwin or the crush I had on Jack or the love I have for James. He's like my anchor, the one thing holding me to this hell of a world.

We'd never be anything to the other if we weren't all we've got. He's the only person that is real in this new life I've created. This new past I made that leads to a dark and empty future.

I don't like Desmond, not like that. But in this new life, he's my only light.

I was so lost in these thoughts that I didn't hear the person that came up behind me until they called my name.

_**Review please!**_


	19. The Other Side ofthe Island

_The Other Side of the Island_

Six Days Earlier

RICHARD

He sat in her living room chair starring at the book on the table. She had disappeared right before the book club. No one had seen her leave her house. There was no trace of her anywhere. It was honestly as though she had just evaporated into air.

I opened the door slowly and he started at the sound. "Any news?" He asked immediately.

I shook my head sadly. "Still no sign of her." I moved into the main room and took a seat across from him. "Ben, I spoke with Jacob. He wants us to stop looking."

"What?"

"He confirmed it, Ben. Juliet is dead."

"No," he stated simply. It was just another fact to him. It was sunny, Downtown was playing when they found the house empty, muffins lay burnt on the floor, Juliet was not dead.

"I'm sorry, but she's gone. And Jacob has more pressing matters for us to deal with. We all have to move on."

He stares past me and doesn't say a word. He knows he can't go against Jacob. I stand. "I'll give you some time."

Almost everyone stared as I walked out of her house. I suppose I had to tell them all too. "I'm sorry you never got to go home," I say under my breath. Then I make my way to the center of the group.

***

JULIET

"Juliet?"

A spasm of fear comes over me but in less than a heartbeat I've managed to pull myself together. I spin around and lift up the gun in one swift motion. We came this far, I'm not getting caught now.

"Whoa, what are you doing?" She takes a step back, her hands flying into the air.

I lower the gun slowly. She drops her hands in response.

"Alex."

I don't know why I was so shocked. We were in 2004; of course she was still alive. But seeing her again, looking no different than she had three years ago, was unbelievable. I closed the space between us and wrapped my arms around her. "I didn't think I'd see you again."

"Me neither," she says, returning the hug. "We all thought you were dead."

I pull back. "What do they think happened to me?"

"Richard told everyone you had drowned. We looked for you for a week. There was no sign of you anywhere. Everyone believes you killed yourself."

I feel a small amount of the heavy load I'm carrying being lifted as I let this news-perhaps the only good news I'll ever get again- sink in. They are done searching. For now, I'm safe.

What's going on, Juliet? What are you doing out here?"

"I'm-I'm just…what are you doing out here?" I ask in a desperate attempt to avoid her question. She looks at me questioningly, but gives me an answer.

She sighed. "My dad and I got into a fight."

Shit, is that today?

"He found out about me and Karl. And he _actually thinks_ that he can tell me that I can't see him again. I mean, what is he so worried about, that I'm gonna get pregnant?! I'm not stupid. He thinks he has control over everyone and everything. Well he _doesn't_ have control over me." Comprehension flickers across her face. "That's why you're out here too, isn't it?"

I ignore her question. "Alex, you have to go back, now. You have to apologize."

"What?"

"You have to tell your Ben he is right."

"Wait, are you on his side too, now?! I love Karl and I'm not letting my father take him away from me."

"Alex, you know your father. If you refuse to stop seeing Karl, he's going to make it impossible for you to."

She could see how sure I was. "What do you think he'll do?" she asked in a worried whisper.

_Hold him prisoner in the same cage they had held Kate. The same cage she climbed out of to get into James's…_

"I don't know. But believe me; you don't want to find out."

She nodded. "Are you coming back, too?"

"No, I'm staying here."

"Why?"

I am silent for only a second. "I can't be trapped there anymore. There's nothing I can do for them. I've been trying for three years, and every time I've just watched another woman die. I can't handle it anymore. Out here, I at least have _some _freedom." It was relatively true.

"Juliet, you can't just live out here. I know things haven't gone the way you thought and I am sorry for all he has put you through, but this is ridiculous. You can't just live alone in the jungle."

"There's nothing for me back there."

"And there's even less for you out here! What are you gonna do when your tired of being alone? When you're sick and cold and starving? How are you going to just waltz back after you've led everyone to believe you killed yourself?"

"I won't. I'm never going back. No matter what happens."

"Juliet, this is crazy," She said, her voice taking on a hysterical edge. "You can't actually expect to live the rest of your life alone in this jungle! You're going to die out here."

"I know what I'm getting into. Listen, Alex, you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone I'm alive. You can't ever come back to see me. If they find out and he comes looking for me…I don't know what I'd do. Please."

She stared at me, trying to choose the right response. Finally she asked, "You're s_ure_ you want to do this?"

"I'm positive."

"Fine," she said reluctantly. "No one will ever know about this. I promise."

I release the breath I'd been holding. "Thank you." I smile at her."

"I guess I should get going."

I nod.

"Alright." She hugs me once more. "Bye Juliet."

"Bye Alex."

"Be careful. And if you ever want to come back, I'll make sure they let you."

"Thanks."

She lets go and half smiles running back to change her future.

*

When I took that last step through the trees and onto the beach, it was as if stepping into my other life. The waves carried with them the memories. The sand seemed to hold the footprints of all those who had once walked over it.

After Alex and I parted, I found all of the food and supplies Desmond and I had moved into the jungle while preparing for the implosion and took it all with me (with the exception of some clothes Desmond said he would need after the explosion). I now dropped them in the sand and made my way to the water. I stood close to the spot where Hurley and I first talked. Or, rather, where he kept an eye on me. I looked around the empty beach and saw them having their first meeting about me. I saw Claire come close to dying and Jack's appendix bursting. I saw Kate going into James's tent to ease the pain of seeing Jack with me.

How had so much changed?

I tried to find the exact spot that James' tent had been. I wanted to put mine in that same place. When I fell asleep at night, I wanted it to be on the same exact sand that he had slept on. I wanted to know that if these two universes merged into one, that I would be lying right next to him. I wanted that one connection.

But it was all too different. The beach was too empty. I took my best guess and began to set up, probably yards and yards away from where he was in that last life.

I was watching the sun come up when Desmond reached the beach. I stood quickly and almost ran to greet him.

"Are you alright?" I asked, throwing my arms around him.

"Yeah," he responded distantly, not sounding alright at all. "You?"

"Yeah." I decided to keep the Other meeting to myself for now. It didn't sound like he had it in him to deal with it.

He took a step back and stared straight at me. He looked as though he had been tortured. And the way he was looking at me-confusion and a strange sort of sadness clear in his eyes- made me uncomfortable. It almost resembled the look you give someone you used to love right before you break their heart.

"Desmond what's wrong?"

"I had a vision," he answered gravely.

"What was it?" I felt myself shaking, not really sure if I wanted to know.

"I saw me and Penny on a boat. A boat leaving the island."

"What?" The word almost comes out as a laugh as excitement and hope ran through me. Why was he making this sound like a bad thing? "Desmond, that's-"

"Juliet," he interrupts in a tone that shatters my smile and chases all of the newfound hope right out of me. "You weren't on it."

TBC…

_**Okay, I just have a few things to tell you all.**_

_**First of all, as always thanks so much for all of the reviews! I love hearing what you all have to say!**_

_**So I'm kind of on a roll with the cliffhangers. I pretty much have one planned for the next five chapters or so. Yeah, I'm kinda mean like that :)**_

_**Also, I tweaked the Michael Libby exchange a little. I just really wasn't happy at all with it before. Most of their conversation is the same, but Libby doesn't exactly forgive him at the end and neither does Hurley. **_

_**Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I was working on it for a lot longer than my other ones. I had a some trouble figuring it all out. Please tell me how you think I did! Thanks!!!**_


	20. The Looking Glass

_**Hello! I am sooooooooooooooooo sorry about the inexcusable the lack of updates. I don't know how I let this much time pass. I got pretty lost in my plot, and had to try to come up with something new. Then every time I came up with an idea I liked, it felt unoriginal and stolen. Well, today while washing the dishes, I had an epiphany. Hopefully now I can get back on track, although the start of school will make updating a little harder. But I promise no more month long waits!**_

_**Thanks for sticking with me all this time! Everything is beginning to come together, so unfortunately (or fortunately, depending how you look at it) only a few chapters left.**_

_**Thanks also for the wonderful reviews! I hope you're all still reading and enjoying this, and if you are please let me know!! (even if you aren't liking it.) Seriously, I'd be thrilled to get a review just staying, "I read it." please??**_

_**So here is chapter 20 (yay!)!! It's more of a transitional chapter, I guess. A lot of Desmond's thoughts on the reset and Penny and Charlie(s) and such. The italics are Desmond's flashes. Hope you like it!**_

_The Looking Glass_

DESMOND

_I stood on the deck, staring out at the water. Penny came up behind me and put her arms around me. "It'll be fine, Des."_

_I turned to pull her into my arms. "She could have gotten caught. They could have her, Penny. We shouldn't have left."_

_She ran her hand through my hair. "Juliet is fine. She wanted us to go. Come on, they'll be here soon."_

_"That's what they said the last time. We were supposed to get everyone onto the boat, and we left and they were on that island for three years."_

_"That's not going to happen this time."_

_"But it could! We should go. I should take the boat back and find them."_

_"Desmond, please. I just got you back. Don't leave me again."_

_I looked at her, her fear and desperation. And to be honest, I couldn't go back without her at my side. And I sure as hell wouldn't drag her along on some suicide mission. "Alright," I agreed, leaning in to kiss her. "I love you."_

_*_

_"You weren't on it."_

I didn't know how I could have left her in the first place. And Penny says she told me to go? Why would I listen to her?

Everything seemed to have drained out of Juliet. Every bit of color, life, emotion. It was all taken away. "What?"

"I ...I don't know exactly what happens. I was on a boat with Penny, worrying about you. You were still in the island. Apparently you told us to leave. Said you'd come to us later."

"Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. But I thought the Others might have found you. I wanted to come back-"

"Don't." she said sharply. "If I told you to leave and I stayed, there had to have been a reason. No matter what happens, don't come back."

"Juliet-"

"If you get Penny back, don't ruin it because of me."

"Juliet..." I said again. I knew I could never do anything to lose Penny if I found her, but I could never leave Juliet behind either.

"We should go." she stated. Her face displayed nothing. She was a completely different person then the one I was used to. She was The Other Juliet. Without a word she turned away and headed up the beach.

We sat in the sailboat, waiting for night to come. She was at the table, starring motionlessly at the wood. She hadn't spoken a word since I told her. She still had that icy, closed off look in her eyes.

I slid the chair back loudly. She didn't move a muscle.

"Juliet." I sat next to her. "I know you're scared. But we're still in this together. It's okay. You don't have to shut me out."

A sad sort of smile flickered across her face, and then the tears started rolling down. She wiped one away. "You sound just like him."

She began to sob. She dropped her head to the table and I lifted her into my arms.

"I'm never going to see him again," she whispered through her tears.

"We're getting off this island together," I stated. "I'm not leaving you behind."

She released me and dried her cheeks. "Desmond, It's my fault you're here to begin with. Don't let me stop you from getting away too."

"I'm _not_ leaving you behind." How did she not understand that that wasn't even an option? I wouldn't have made it through the past weeks without her here. Regardless of what she did or why we're trapped here, she saved me. We're in this together; I wouldn't abandon her now.

She gazed up at the darkening sky and took a breath. "You ready?"

"Aye."

"Alright then." She stood and looked to me for the first time in since that morning. "Let's do this."

We were starring down at the water, starring through it to what we knew was hiding below.

"I'll go in alone." I said after a good two minutes of pure silence. "If they find out about this, they can't trace it back to you."

"Desmond-"

"I'll be fine." I began to climb down the side when I remembered what Charlie had been there to do the last time. "Juliet?"

"Yeah?"

"You know Good Vibrations?"

She smiled. "What?"

I grinned back. It had to be the first time in weeks. "The code is Good Vibrations. You know how it goes?"

She laughed. "Of course I do. Horace used to listen to the Beach Boys all the time." Her laughter cut off and her smile became forced.

I continued awkwardly, regretting bringing up something from her happier life. "Do you know what it would be, the song in numbers?"

She had a distant look in her eyes as she first hummed the chorus, then replaced the words with numbers, tapping her fingers as if punching them into an imaginary number pad. She repeated them for me, finishing off with an, "I think."

I nodded, repeating the numbers. "I'll be back in a minute," I promised. Then I swam under.

The water, like everything else in this life, was working against me. I could see the future, but I couldn't trust it. I didn't know if I'd come out of this alive.

_Was the opening this far away last time?_

Maybe none of it was true. Maybe it was another trick of fate. Pulling me out of my life when it was absolutely perfect it and sending me back to when it was all crashing down.

Claire and Aaron were supposed to get on that helicopter. That's why Charlie did this the first time around. But it never happened. Claire was here. And they never found her. Maybe she had died.

Did he die for nothing then?

_How far down is it?_

Maybe the future isn't as sure as we think it is. Maybe we still have the power to change it. Maybe destiny and fate is all in our heads.

Or maybe not. Maybe this was supposed to happen all along. Was every death was meant to be undone?

And where is Charlie now? Playing with his band? Did he met Claire in this life too?

Maybe he'll die. Maybe they're all dying again. Maybe whatever happened happened. Maybe they were never supposed to change it, and the universe is setting everything straight.

I couldn't breathe. I was beginning to feel numb. It was getting harder to move by the second

_I don't know how much more I can take._

Why can't I see their future? Why can't I see Charlie or Claire or Sawyer or Penny?

And what did we do? If they get to live their lives undisturbed by haunting memories, what have Juliet and I done to get ourselves locked back up in this hell?

Finally I saw light. I swam up and gasped for air as my I immerged from the water. I pushed all of the unanswered questions out of my mind and focused on our one chance to save us.

Or destroy us.

I got out as quickly and quietly as possible and went to my former hiding spot. I looked around. A small, illogical part of me expected to see him. I was waiting to hear his voice but I expected to hear his voice.

_"Go! Go! Go! Hide! Hide! Hide!" _

I thought about him constantly. I thought about him every time I looked at my son.

Charlie is somewhere in the world right now, living and breathing.

At least one Charlie is.

I opened up the door and pulled out the first gun I found.

Same one that I took last time.

There was still no one in sight. I looked to the closed door on the side. Could I make it in and out without them ever knowing?

I moved to the room with the flashing yellow light. I stared at the numbers and typed in what Juliet had told me and the light flicked off.

I smiled victoriously and looked expectantly to the screen.

Nothing.

"Come on Penny," I whispered.

But everything remained unchanged. I pressed every button, but her face never appeared. Is it the wrong time? Was it only that one day she was trying to communicate?

"Please Pen."

But it was useless. There was no incoming transmission. She was not waiting on the other side. Could I just wait here? Sit in this room until she comes? When will that be? Two moths was it?

Or maybe she'll never come. Maybe we changed what was never meant to be changed, and now nothing will be the same.

They stopped a bloody plane crash. Four hundred lives saved. This new life is not confined in our little bubble of survivors. Those four hundred people our out in the real world, affecting everything they see. Their presence could have changed something in Penny's life. She could have met someone in a dinner who wasn't there the last time and stopped obsessing over finding me. She could have walked into the street and a driver who wasn't driving the last time could have run her over.

Oh god.

"Penny!" I cried desperately, banging against the screen.

"Dammit! Dammit dammit dammit."

I walked back to the main room and stared into the water. Could we come back in a month? Or was it useless? Had too much been changed? Was she really not looking anymore?

I tried to force another vision to come, but I saw nothing. She could have forgotten about me, she could already be looking, she could came later, she could never come.

Maybe none of it even matters anymore.

But could she be dead? It's a new life. Anything could happen.

I wanted to cry. Why? Why us? The flash from before very well could have been fake. Juliet and I both could be stuck here forever.

I put the gun away. I went back and figured out how to put the jamming signals back on. They'll never know I was here.

I couldn't get Penny off my mind as I swam back up. Where was she? Was she there the last time this day happened? Is she thinking about me? Looking for me someplace else?

I reached the boat and climbed up its side. Juliet reached out her hand and pulled me up.

"You okay?"

I nodded, completely defeated.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"What do you mean nothing? _Something_ had to happen"

"I went down there, I put in the code, I waited for penny, she never came, I got the jamming signal back on, I left. _Nothing happened_."

"She wasn't there?"

"No. I…I don't know if we're to early or if she's just not looking this time. Juliet, you sent for hundred people into a world where they were not before. Everyone's life is changing, not just theirs. Anything could of happened.'

"Desmond, I am so sorry."

"Don't be," it came out harsher then I meant it to. "Come on, let's go."

"Go where?"

"Where taking this boat and getting the hell out of here."

"I thought you said-"

"Well that was then! That was that life. Everything's changing. So are we going?"

She starred at me a moment, before answering. "Absolutely."

And so off we went, sailing into the night sky with absolutely no idea where we were going, just the hopes that it wasn't back here.

*

"To three completely island free days," I said, clinking my glass of Dharma wine against hers. I still didn't know where we were headed. If we were going in circles, still trapped in that bloody snow globe, or if maybe that bomb shattered the glass, and we were free. Maybe we had the whole world, we just had to find the right path out. But for three days, we were sailing through without a single obstacle.

"This is the furthest I've been from that place in six years," she laughed, bringing the glass to her lips and looking out at the water around us.

"Three," I corrected.

"Well I remember six. So I say those count."

"Fair enough."

It's the best I've felt since the last time I held my son in my arms or felt my wife's lips against mine.

"Where do you think we'll end up?" she asked, starring off into the distance.

"I'm trying not to hope."

She glanced at me. "Me too." But we both knew we were failing.

We sat in on the edge of the boat in silence, sipping our drinks, starring at the empty world around us, wondering what or who might be waiting on the other side of the water.

"I'll be right back," she said suddenly, placing her glass down and heading down below. Leaving me to think, the worst times of the day.

I wondered if Penny ever remembered, just a little. If she ever saw a little boy or heard someone call out Charlie, and saw him even for a second. I wondered if she ever looked at her fingers, and knew she was meant to be wearing a wedding ring. I hoped so. I hoped our life left even the tiniest mark on her.

I saw something in the distance. I got up and leaned over the edge to get a better look. But before I could make it out, the world around me melted away.

_I walked through the narrow hallway and opened the kitchen door to find someone else already moving through it._

_She was wearing a mans collared blue shirt and pajama shorts. She reached into one of the cabinets and pulled out a glass. Her blonde hair swung around her as she turned to face me._

_"Hey," she smiled._

"_Hey."_

"_Here for some real food as well?"_

_I laughed. "Aye. Dharma cereal can get a little tiring after a while."_

_She pulled out a second glass and bowl. "Try six years of it."_

"_Three."_

_She laughed. It was beautiful. Real and happy and true. I've never see her like this before._

_She poured a oatmeal into each bowl and filled both glasses with water. She set them down on the table and took a seat across from me._

"_Six years, Desmond." she stated disbelievingly. "I can't believe it. Six years, and I'm finally going home." _

I blinked a few times and focused on the figure moving toward us. It was a boat.

"Juliet!"

I waited.

"Juliet!" I called louder.

She walked up the steps. "What?"

"I had a flash. Of us on a boat." I pointed out. "I think this is it. We're getting out of here."

Excitement took over her face, but she quickly pushed it back. We weren't supposed to hope.

She could only last for a second. She came beside me and stared out at it. Then she began to laugh. "We're going home."

She threw her arms around me. My first vision was wrong. We're getting out of here-the two of us.

"Come on," she said, the relief clear in her voice, her face, her stance. We broke apart and I grabbed the wheel. We were still too far away for them to have any chance of hearing us, so she just leaned over eagerly while I headed toward it.

Was it Penny's? Is this why she wasn't sending us any transmission? Had she already found us?

Juliet could have been wrong. If we remembered, why couldn't she?

Our boat was moving far too slow. They were still miles away. "Come on," Juliet was murmuring again and again.

Just then we heard the loud rumbling. We simultaneously looked up to see a helicopter leaving the freighter and heading towards the island.

We just stared, trying to comprehend the scene unfolding before our eyes.

"What the hell?" I finally managed to sputter out. The freightor shouldn't be here for three months, unless of course they remembered too. But I saw Penny...the flashes were beginnning to fit together. Maybe they weren't false.

"It seems," Juliet answered numbly, "that whoever is on that boat," she paused, her eyes following the helicopter. She was putting the pieces together too. "Penny. Whoever came to find you, is looking there."

I looked from her to the freighter to the helicopter to the island and back to her again.

"Bloody hell."


	21. Chapter 21

_**Okay, so unfortunately I'm going to have to ask you all to just ignore everything I say. I cannot believe I promised no more month long waits, and here I am three months later. I am so sorry! I've been insanely busy lately and have just been having awful writer's block. Sorry!**_

_**This chapter brings us back to day one (again). I was originally going to start off where I left last chapter (when Desmond and Juliet saw the helicopter go to the island) but I realized that one of the reasons I was having s much trouble getting that chapter out was because I needed to put in this stuff first. So the next three or so chapters are going to be back to the first week, then we'll get to the back to helicopter. And I really will try to get those out sooner, but again, just don't listen to me. Also, I couldn't think of a title for this chapter, so if you have any suggestions feel free to let me know. Hope you enjoy! And merry Christmas and happy Hanukah!!**_

_Chapter Twenty One___

MILES

It was too silent. Disturbingly silent. What happened to the machinery, the clanking metal, the screams?

"_Dad!"_

_ "Get away from here! Get as far away from here as you can!"_

What the hell? I didn't even know my father. Why was I thinking about him? And it was so clear…

"Mr. Straume?" someone said through the closed door. I didn't even know where I was. What, did I get wasted last night or something and come home with some chick? Though I doubt any chick be referring to me as 'Mr. Straume'.

I looked around. It was a plain room, a full sized bed pushed up against the far wall, a pink sheet folded neatly on top of it. Pictures were framed on the white dresser, hung up on the walls, sticking out of the frame of the mirror. Pictures of two women and a little girl- maybe five- with large gray eyes and curly brown hair.

There was a giant bookshelf, the books packed so tightly that there was barely any room to pull one out. More books were on the nightstand, one lay open with the bookmark to the side, waiting for someone to finish it.

_"Don't you people do anything else but read?" _the words ran through my mind, from God knows where. _"Jeez, what's the point of sharing a bed if all you're gonna do is read in it? And no, I will not join your stupid book club."_

I blinked and pushed the thought out of my mind, having no idea how it even got there.

Then, as I took another look around the room, it clicked. I was in Christina Walls apartment. I was supposed to help a dead relative of hers. Her partner, I think. Leah or Layla or Lily, something like that. Did she not just tell me?

Something was seriously screwed up here.

"Mr. Straume?" She repeated.

"Uh, yeah?"

I brought my hands to my head. I felt a migraine coming on.

"Is everything alright in there?"

Jesus Christ, it felt like my head was about to fucking explode.

Uh…yeah," I called. "You can come in now."

No ghost was here. Christina was just another person imagining things. Wishful thinking, maybe, that their loved ones stayed behind when really they were gone from the start.

She opened the door slowly as I packed up my equipment.

She took in the empty room and then looked at me.

"Is she…is she gone?" she asked softly.

I nodded.

She nodded back as tears welled up in her eyes. "Um…Do you know if she's…okay? What happens to her now?"

"I really don't know where they go after." I admitted. I looked again at the pictures of the smiling trio covering the room. "But she had a good life. And I'm sure that wherever she is now, she's happy."

One tear spilled over and she let it fall as she came over and wrapped her arms around me. "Thank you."

I just nodded again, my mind still scrambled.

She let me go and wiped her eyes. "I have to go pick my daughter up from school. I'll lead you out," she said.

I was at the door when one of the pictures caught my eye. It was of Christina and her partner (whose name I was still blanking on) with a huge bulge in her stomach. And there was a third woman. She was unbelievably sexy. But that wasn't what had me stop dead.

Everything from her curly blonde hair to the smile that she only wore when she was genuinely happy was incredibly familiar. It was taken during one of the few times that she allowed herself to leave her pain behind and be free, I could tell that from the glow in her bright blue eyes. Now, how I could read her eyes and know what her smile meant and how often she wore it, that I had no idea.

"Hey, could you tell me who this is?" I asked, grabbing the framed photo.

Christina turned around and looked at it, a small smile creeping onto her lips at the memory. "That's Dr. Burke. She's a miracle worker. She helped us when Lindsey was having trouble getting pregnant. Lindsey wanted to be the one to do it and really, the whole pregnancy thing wasn't for me. So someone recommended Dr. Burke, and she made it happen. And she was such a sweetheart. We stayed in touch for a bit, but once Emma was born everything just got so crazy. I have no idea where she is now."

I stared at the picture. Dr. Burke. I let the name sink in as more pictures of her flew around my head. And then it was clear.

_ I tapped my fingers against the arm of the chair; the only sound in the room. I looked out the window, at the book on the coffee table, the clock on the wall. I looked around until there was nothing left to look at._

_ "Well this is awkward," I finally said._

_ Juliet smiled. One of those small, guarded smiles of hers._

_We'd been on the island for about three weeks. The four of us were getting along fine, to everyone's surprise. I liked them more than I thought I would. Jin and I were bunking together, which was nice. He was somehow extremely easy to talk too, even though he couldn't understand everything I was saying. Or maybe it was because of that. And LaFleur and I worked together. That was fun. Except that he brought Juliet up every freaking minute. I don't think he even notices. But Juliet and I had never been alone together. And it was weird. Not that I didn't like her, I did. But to be honest she could still kinda scare me sometimes. She could get into these moods, and she had this way of looking at you…it was just freaky._

_I looked to the clock again. "What time did Jim say they'd be back?"_

"_He didn't. All I know is that Horace needed them; some kind of secret security thing." _

"_Oh, well don't I feel special," I muttered. "Three weeks and they're already Horace's go-to guys. I'm out there just as often as they are. It's not my fault if I don't take the job as seriously as they do. I just don't have somebody to be looking for."_

"_At least you're _part_ of the security team," she said with envy. "I probably know the security system better than any of you. And I sure as hell know the Hostiles more then everyone here."_

"_Oh that's right. You were one of them, weren't you? How was that?"_

"_Well I wouldn't exactly call it the greatest three years of my life."_

"_So it was only three years?" I asked. "What'd you do before then?"_

"_I was a fertility doctor. Wouldn't really call those my best years either." She paused thoughtfully for a second. "You know, if I had to chose, I don't know what I _would_ call my greatest years." She let out a small, sad laugh. "I don't think I've _had _any 'great years'."_

"_Well maybe that's a good thing," I said, looking out the window as Jim and Jin pulled up in the blue jeep and stepped out of the car. "Maybe that means your greatest years are coming up."_

My hands began to shake as more memories flooded.

_I have no idea where she is now._

I did. Shit. I did.

My breaths came out in quick, short gasps. it was no longer just my hands shaking, but the entire room. I leaned against the bookshelf to keep from falling. The migraine was getting unbearable. One of my last memories of Charlotte ran fleetingly through my mind and I automatically brought my hand to my nose to check for blood. Could I get the nosebleed now? After all, we did just travel back three years. Holy shit. we just turned back time. _ Three years._

But there was no blood. This was different. we didn't skip through time, we rewound time. We brought the world back to September 22nd, 2004.

Holy fucking shit.

"Hey, are you okay?" Christina asked, reaching out a hand. "Do you need me to get you anything?"

"I'm fine," I said with some effort. I fumbled in my pocket for the $150 she had given me half an hour ago (three years ago?) and handed it back to her.

"Here. Turns out I didn't need to do all too much."

"No, I can't take that."

"Please just take it!" I shoved it into her hand, needing to get out of there.

"Thank you. Thank you for everything you've done."

"It was no problem," I mumbled as I stepped away from the bookshelf and put the picture of Juliet back. I was still feeling a little dizzy, but I could walk.

I followed her out the door and down to main entrance. We quickly said our goodbyes.

"Take care," I said before heading to my car.

The fresh air cleared my head a bit, but it couldn't stop the memories of the missing three years.

_ I pushed the door of the house that James and Juliet share open and barged in._

_ Juliet looked up quickly and then went back to her book. "We have doors for a reason, you know," she said without looking away from her page._

_ "Yeah well, we have locks for a reason too, and you decided not to use yours."_

_ She sighed and closed her book. "What's up?"_

_ "I can't take it anymore. James came over to mine and Jin's place, we had some beers and all I've heard for the last freaking hour is 'Sun, Kate, Sun, Kate, Sun, Kate'. Get over it!" _

_I plopped down in the one of the living room chairs. It was only a couple of days after that first time we were alone together, but we had somehow managed to become incredibly close in an incredibly short amount of time._

_ "Maybe you should give them a break. I mean, they did both lose someone they loved recently."_

_ "Sawyer didn't love Kate! Or at least he doesn't anymore."_

_ "Really? And how do you know that?"_

_ "Are you kidding me? Have you _heard_ him lately? All he talks about is…ugh, never mind." Jeez, how could these two be so clueless!? Even Jin has pointed out that they are practically inseparable and that he never shuts up about her. They'll figure it out soon enough. Maybe it's a good thing he's moping about Kate right now. Getting the last of his Kate out so he can finally realize how crazy he is about Juliet. Still, it's shit to have to sit and listen to._

_ "And besides," I continued. "Just cause they're the ones that lost someone doesn't mean they are the only ones with problems."_

_ She repositioned herself on the couch. "Something you want to tell me, Miles?"_

_ I took a breath and let it all out. "I saw my mom today."_

_ "What?"_

_ "On the way back from work I bumped into my mom. She's part of the freaking Dharma Initiative! She would never tell me about where I was born or why I never met my dad. And it's because I was born here! My dad, my mom and I, we lived on this island."_

_ She just stared at me._

_ "Something happens to these people, right? Whatever wipes out the D.I…my dad's gonna be part of it." _

I felt tears stinging my eyes for the first time in…a while. My dad was dead. Either from the incident or Ben's poisonous gas, I didn't know. but right now, in 2004, he was gone.

But I got to know him, and that's all I ever really wanted, right? To know why he wasn't there, why he kicked us out. And he had a damn good reason to, too. He wasn't at all like the monster my mom always made him out to be.

I got into my car and leaned back against the seat. God, this was all too much. Was I the only one who remembered? Did Juliet remember? Juliet, back on the island. She had to know she would end up back there-back with the hostiles, alone-when she agreed to drop the bomb. How did she agree to it? How did she and LaFleur agree to it?

I shot up.

Shit. LaFleur. He must be devastated. But if I remember, he must, right?

I started the car and looked at the clock.

There was no way I'd make it to the airport in time. And I didn't have an address or a phone number or anything. But that didn't matter.

I began to drive.

I had to find him.


	22. Motels, Hotels, Boat Rides to Islands

_**Wow. That was one crazy lost episode! What did you guys think?? I really wanted to have this story finished before the new season but I just couldn't get to it. Sorry!! I wasn't sure I'd be able to write this after season 6 started, but I've been working on it for 8 months and gotten further then I ever have with any of my multi-chapter stories, so I am determined to finish it. Plus, after that episode, i NEED some happy ending for my favorite couple. I sort of rushed this and wrote the end of this while watching the recap, so I was a bit distracted. Sorry if it shows!! Hope you all enjoy!!!!  
**_

_Motels, Hotels, Boat Rides to Islands _

SAWYER

The motel was the crappiest place I had ever honestly stayed in, but I couldn't say I even gave a damn anymore. Visiting Kate today was…strange. I was expecting to have all the answers fall upon me as soon as I saw her face. And in a weird sort of way they almost had.

I loved her. At some point I was attracted to her, in some life I wanted to be with her, but now, it was felt just like a friend sort of love. I felt basically _nothing_ passed that. I didn't want to rip her clothes off right and there (or ever) and I didn't have the need to feel her lips against mine. I just wanted to know she was okay. I just wanted to her to be safe and happy, and I had absolutely no need or want to be a part of that.

I laid back on the bed and thought of the soft blonde hair and shining blue eyes. Now _her_ I needed to see, to feel. Was it too late to call Dan?

I realized hadn't checked my home phone messages in a week (even though really it was over three years, but I couldn't have any messages from then). I grabbed my cell and called into my voicemail, not really sure what I was expecting to find.

Maybe Juliet was here and looked up that number.

Who was I kidding?

But regardless, I dialed the numbers. Just to be sure.

8 new messages. I took a breath and let them play.

"Hey man," a familiar yet distant voice but altogether horrible voice came at me. "It's Hibbs." I froze. My head was spinning as he asked how the job went and made some asshole comment. This was the man who had ruined my life. Who had turned me into a murderer. The reason I was on that plane.

He was the reason I met Juliet.

I quickly deleted the message. None of that mattered now. All I knew was that I wasn't going to waste any of my time on _him_.

There were six more messages from him (he never was known for his patience). I deleted them all and was about to delete the eighth when the voice on the other end stopped me cold.

"Hey LaFleur-or Sawyer…sorry. Listen, it's Miles. Uh… if you have any idea who that is, call me cause I've got no idea of what the fuck is going on right now."

I didn't hesitate. I grabbed a pen and pad from the desk and scribbled down the numbers he said and dialed them s quickly as I could.

I could hardly handle it as the phone rang again and again. But on the fourth ring, he picked up.

"Hello?" I groggy and slightly pissed Miles answered.

"Miles," I breathed, leaning back against the wall. I wasn't exactly sure if it had been two days or thirty years since we last talked, but either way it is certainly the most amount of time we've ever gone and (though I never thought I'd say this) I damn sure missed it.

Now I've talked to two of them in this life.

One more to go.

"LaFleur??" he was up and alert immediately.

"Actually it's Sawyer now," I grinned.

"Oh my God you remember. Jesus Christ man, I thought I might have been the only one."

"Unfortunately not. One look at Jacko and a damn Romeo and Juliet book, and all the memories came floodin' back to me."

"Yeah, mine we're triggered by this woman I was working with."

"Really? How?"

"She had this picture of-" he stopped suddenly and when he began his words were slow. Carefully chosen. "Turns out she knew Juliet."

My stomach dropped and for a second I wasn't sure how to breath. Stupid reaction. But there was something about having someone say her name out loud-especially the way Miles said it, as if she had died or something-that made it even worse.

"How?" I managed to choke out.

"She helped her get pregnant. Well really she helped Lindsey get pregnant, but both they both worked with her." Okay he lost me there. He still seemed to be in the middle of figuring all this out. "According to Christina, Juliet's a miracle worker."

I laughed a painful laugh, the name piercing me like a knife. "Well she's right about that."

There was a long pause. "I'm sorry James."

"Don't be," I said harshly. "This isn't over."

"You're not…you're not planning on trying to get back there are you?"

"I sure as hell am. I've got Dan's number. We're gonna figure this all out. I'm fixing this."

Another pause.

"Well then sign me up."

***

JIN

It was the nicest hotel I had ever been in. The nicest American place I'd ever been too. The only American place, unless you count the airport. But something about that scared me more than anything else. The words from earlier today that had been forgotten on the island were now fresh in my mind.

_ "__ I know you are planning to run away. but you're going to take that watch to Mr. Paik's friend in California. You do anything else, anything, and you will lose her. you are not free. you never have been. and you never will be."_

I ran my hand through Sun's hair as she slept peacefully under the white sheets. I couldn't lose her. Not again. They couldn't take her from me. They didn't control us.

But maybe they could. Maybe the island really was the only place we were free.

I brought my fingers to the watch around my wrist. The watch that had caused so much trouble in another life of mine. And it looked like it might cause just as much in this one.

Sun stirred. I moved my hand back to her and her eyes opened.

She looked at me, momentarily startled, and the a smile crept to her lips.

"I forgot," she said softly, placing her hand on top of mine. "I forgot I was not going to have to wake up alone."

I leaned over and kissed her. "Never again," I promised, more for myself then for her.

She laughed. "Your English. It is as good as mine."

"Three years of practice paid off. Juliet made a point of teaching me every day." Then I stopped.

"Jin?" She propped herself up against the pillow. "Are you alright?"

"I am fine," I smiled. It was a pathetic excuse for a smile. "Sawyer and Dan are going to go back for her. I feel…I feel it is only right for me to go with them."

She sat up further. "You want to go back?" she asked incredulously.

"Juliet was my best friend. She helped me every time I thought of you. I could talk to her. I trusted her. And Sawyer too. It is only right that I help them, after all they have done for me."

Sun stared at me. And then she nodded. "Alright. Alright. But you do know, don't you, that you are only going if I am coming with you."

***

CHARLOTTE

"Char. Hey Char. Charlotte? Charlotte?!"

"What?" I turned to Becca, completely out of it. She stared at me.

"Are you alright? You've been acting really strange lately."

"Yeah."I put my head in my hands to try and clear my thoughts. "Yeah sorry. I just,…I don't know. it feels like I'm missing something. Forgetting some vital part of my life, you know?"

"N. Not really," she answered, looking at me from across the table as if I were insane. She reached over and put her hand on mine."

"Charlotte, I get it. You're going through some sort of phase; something you don't want to share with me. I get it, it's fine. just try to pull it together, alright? We've got work to do. Honestly, you're acting a bit like your back from the dead or something." The she burst out laughing4. I tried to join in, but somehow this didn't seem the far off from the truth.

We finished our meal quickly. I tried to keep up with the conversation, but my mind just kept drifting back to those blurry images that seeme88dto be just out of reach. I've it's been going on for three days now I try to got past the barrier, but it's no use.

"Alright, well I'm gonna get going," Becca announced. while pulling out her wallet. "go home, get some rest. Remember we're meeting at nine tomorrow. I really think we're on to something. Who knows," she grinned. "Maybe we'll even find those beloved polar bears of yours."

I wanted to be able to joke back. I really did. But polar bears were just another thing that seemed to be just beyond the barrier. Polar bears. Chocolate bars. Swing sets. Helicopters. Men. Or a man. I'm sure there was one in particular.

"See you tomorrow Becca. Thanks for lunch."

"No problem. Nin o'clock."

"Got it."

Finally she was gone. Not that I didn't love Becca to death (death. that's another thing that is lying just beyond that barrier.) I did. But she never did know when someone just wasn't in the mood. I sighed and grabbed my bag. She was right though. I could use some rest.

I got to my apartment quickly and took the elevator up to the fourth floor.

There was a man waiting outside.

"Um, ca I help you?" I asked while pulling out my key.

He spun around to face me and I had to stifle a gasp. He was so familiar…

"Charlotte." He took a step toward me. I moved back.

"I'm sorry. Do I know you?"

"Hey, hey Charlotte." he put his hands up. "It's me. It's Daniel Faraday."

And that was it. The barrier broke. And everything, _everything_, from the last three years came flooding back to me. I stumbled back under the pressure. Dan reached out to me and I grabbed his hand.

"Daniel," I whispered. Then I throw my arms around him. "Daniel."

"Hey," he said softly, returning the hug.

***

"So what you're saying is that…you're saying Juliet is still on the island?"

"Her and Desmond."

"Oh my God." I leaned back against the wall. "Oh my God."

Dan moved closer to where I was seated on the bed and took hold of my hand.

"I've already gotten in touch with Lapidus. He's willing to help. And Sawyer's gone to talk to Penelope Widmore. According to Sun, she had a boat that got them rescued last time around."

"Do you really think he'll be able to convince her? If she was never on the island then would she even remember?"

"I don't think so. But he says that either way, they are going through the same thing. She's missing someone she loves too." He squeezed my hand.

"And what about getting there? We don't know the exact bearings."

"My mother?"

"Your mother? But I thought you said-"

"She didn't try to send me back," he interrupted. "But she still works with them. She is still positioned at the Lamp Post. She'll know."

"I nodded. "I wanted to go with you."

"You want to what? Charlotte the last time-"

"I want to go. Dan, I want to help."

"I…I can't Charlotte, I can't lose you again."

I slid over to him. "You won't." And then I leaned in for the kiss.

*****

SAWYER

I could see it. Through the small window in my small room on Penny's boat, I could see the island.

A couple more miles, and I'd be seeing her.

I sighed. She would with the Others. But she would remember. Unless nothing has triggered her memory yet. But I would. I just had to find a way to get to her.

Ben. We have to be sure that bastard is nowhere near her.

But still I wasn't sure. We were this close and still I had my doubts.

"James?"

I looked to the door. Jin was staring at me with concern. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine." But after three years he knew me better than that. I sighed. "The last thing she said to me before…before the incident, was that she wanted to erase it all because she never wanted to meet me. She thought I loved Kate. Or thinks…I don't know. But she didn't want me. What if…what if that's still true?"

Jin came over and sat beside me. "I watched you and Juliet for three years. And now you have come all this way, for her. She loves you, James. That is not changing. We have made it this far. Everything will be okay."

"Thanks." Maybe he was right. Maybe it would all be okay. "Hey, how are things going with Sun's father? Have you figured something out yet?"

"No," he sighed. "I don't have any idea what I am supposed to do."

"Have you told Sun yet?"

"No."

"Tell her. I'm sure no one knows that bastard better than his daughter. And believe me, the last thing you want between you is secrets."

He nodded. And before we could say anything else, Charlotte appeared at the door.

"We're here."

Jin and I looked at each other. "Alright," I said. "Let's go."

Lapidus was already in the chopper and Sun and Miles were standing beside it. Penny was standing at the edge, starring at the island. I went over and put my hand on her shoulder. "You ready?"

She looked up at me for a moment. "Yeah. Yes, of course."

"Okay then." We made our way to the helicopter.

"Sawyer," Dan called. "Are you sure this is the best way?"

I looked to the island, 18 miles away, and back. "Yeah. This is it."

"Alright then," he held out his hand. "Good luck."

"We'll be back soon. All seven of us."

As Penny and I joined the rest on the chopper, Dan grabbed Charlotte's hand. I waved as I hopped on and then it rumbled to life.

"Here we go."


	23. To the Island Again

_**Hello! I am so sorry about the wait! I somehow let months pass…again. This poor chapter has been sitting here since about September (I wrote the first half before I wrote the last 2 chapters) just waiting to be finished! Finally got around to it! Sorry for the long wait! However, this chapter is extra long to make up for it.**_

_**Did anyone else cry during the latest episode? I cannot believe they did that.**_

_**And just for a little random fact of the day, this is my 8**__**th**__** Juliet perspective. Everyone else has less than 6 (Sawyer's second place). What can I say, I love Juliet :)**_

_**Hope you enjoy!**_

_To the Island (Again...)_

JULIET

I had prepared myself for everything. I forced myself to expect that we'd end up right back where we started. I was ready to get caught by Ben and never see James again. I had hoped (though I tried my best not to) that maybe in this new life, we might be able to get away. I pictured seeing him again, him having no memory of us at all, and how I'd try and get him back anyway. I ran all the possibilities through my mind a hundred thousand times. But this, this I never imagined.

We sailed to the freighter in silence. The freighter that just sent a helicopter to the island we had just made it off of. Was it Widmore? No, it was too early. And Desmond said he saw Penny. Does she remember then?

Does James remember?

Desmond said I stayed on the island after he and Penny got off. Was he there too? Did I stay to save him?

Suddenly I didn't know which was worse; if James was on that helicopter, or if he wasn't.

We were within hearing distance of the boat. But I couldn't call out to whoever was there. I couldn't make it real.

Maybe I was dreaming. Maybe I was lying in the sailboat just waiting to get home. Maybe I was back on the island, in the tents or in the hatch. Maybe I was in bed with James, or in my house with the Others. Maybe I was at home in my apartment, I'll have to wake up and go check on Rachel soon. This whole life on the island could have been my desperate attempt to escape my sad excuse for a life. Because this never ending stay on a disappearing, time traveling, polar bear and smoke monster filled island would make much more sense as a dream then reality.

But it is reality. All of it, even the life I erased, it all happened.

And now we are right beside the freighter and we've been spotted.

Here it goes.

The man calls something out in Portuguese and three more came running to the edge of the boat. None of them are familiar. I knew they wouldn't be, but my heart melted all the same. They are all yelling things out in the unfamiliar language and then one of them runs to the inner compartments of the boat while another throw down a rope and help us up. This is the moment I've been dreaming of for six years, but I couldn't find it in me to be happy. I knew this wasn't over yet.

Everyone silently stared at Desmond and me as we climbed onto the boat. We all just waited until one man finally spoke.

"Hello."

"Hi," I managed to answer.

"I'm Carlos."

"Juliet."

They all looked at each other, and then Carlos turned his attention to Desmond. "Does that make you Desmond then?"

Desmond and I looked at each other but before we could respond a door opened and a slightly nervous and oh so familiar voice called, "What's going on here?"

"Daniel," I stated dumbly.

Charlotte walked out behind him.

This. This is what made it real .The recognition in their eyes. Oh my God, it's real, they know. _They know. _

"Charlotte," I breathed. She was here, living, breathing, fully grown, and remembering everything.

_They all remember. _

I was about to ask them everything. But then I caught Dan's expression. His worried eyes. His slightly frantic glances from me to Desmond to the island. His eyes locked with mine.

"Uh, this...this could be a problem."

Daniel led us away from the rest of the crew, refusing to say anything else until they were out of earshot. He had taken Charlotte's hand they keep looking at each other. I couldn't handle this right now. What was happening?

"Okay Brotha, what the hell is going on?" Desmond stopped walking, just as agitated as I was.

Dan turned to us and checked that no one else was there. "Alright," he began. "We weren't expecting you to be off the island. We just sent the helicopter there. How, how did you get off?"

"We took Desmond's boat," I answered quickly. "Daniel, please, what's going on? Is anyone else here? Whose boat is this? Who remembers? Who is on that helicopter?" I needed answers.

"We came here for you. This is Penelope Widmore's boat," Desmond took in a breath as Dan continued. "Everyone remembers. Well, almost everyone." He glanced up at Desmond. "Everyone who was _on_ the island remembers. For Penny...it's as if it never happened. And she is on that helicopter. Her, Frank, Sun, Jin, Miles-" his eyes flickered to mine and my heart skipped a beat because that could only mean one thing "-and Sawyer."

It took everything I had not to jump off this boat right then and there.

_He's right here._

But that thought was quickly pushed away by another one. "He's on the island," I whisper. And then much louder as the meaning of that dawns on me. "Is he _insane_? They took a helicopter! Ben is going to see that!"

"I think that might have been the point," Dan admits. "Distract Ben so he can get you out."

I shook my head, hadn't he learned anything about Ben over the years? "No. We have to go there. We have to get them right now."

"They've got sat phones," Charlotte said. "Can we call them?"

Desmond closed his eyes. "I turned the damn jamming signals back on."

I felt sick. We get Penny back, and then I stay. I go looking for James. But then what? What do I go through to find him? And when Desmond see's me on the boat, am I there without him? Is that in days? Weeks?

"Desmond we have to get back there. How far are we?"

"Eighteen miles," Dan answers. So I suppose were just sailing in circles, not that any of it matters anyhow.

I look to Desmond. "We'll sail back?"

"We've got the Zodiac," Charlotte offers. "That might be faster."

I nod.

"They were going to the Swan first; I believe," Charlotte informs us. "Then the barracks."

Again I just nod. It was hard to concentrate. It was hard to breath. I was shaking and I didn't know whether I wanted to cry or not and there wasn't time to figure it out.

"Home sweet home," I murmur as we hop out of the boat and push it up onto the sand. We didn't even stop to breathe as we run into the jungle. We are so close.

We are _so_ close.

The trees blur as we rush past them and the hundred different scenarios run through my head.

Has Ben gotten to them already? Could James already be dead? Maybe Desmond will go through hell to get Penny back. Maybe we'll get captured before we can escape.

"Desmond?"

"Yeah?"

"What was I like, in your vision?"

He is silent for a moment, still running full speed. "I've never seen you so happy."

Again I am forced to hold back tears. If his flashes come true, I have to find him. Maybe it will take weeks. Maybe I'll have to go back to the Others first. But at some point I'll be back on that boat. And if I'm happy, he'll be with me.

We have to be only a minute away from the hatch.

"Penny!" Desmond calls. He somehow manages to move his feet quicker. At this point we could probably beat the Olympic records; not that I knew what the last one was.

"Penny!"

Why isn't she calling back?

"Penny!" he shouts desperately.

And then another voice echoes his.

"Desmond?"

He lets out a ragged breath and pushes himself further.

"Desmond?" her voice came again, a little unsure yet a thousand times more hopeful.

"I'm here, Pen! I'm coming."

And then there she was, running towards us. She froze.

Desmond came to a halt a d stared.

"Penny," he whispers. And then they both ran into each other's arms and he captures her lips with his.

"Oh God, Penny."

"Desmond."

He pulls her in even closer. "I love you."

"I love you. Desmond, I love you so much."

I try not to think. I try not to let those words seep into me and break whatever isn't already broken. I try not to feel anything at all.

"Desmond," She pulls away from his lips. "Desmond, they said it happened before. I don't remember." Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she spoke. "I don't remember any of it."

"It's okay," he promises, holding her close. "We'll figure it out. We'll be together, everything will be okay."

"I love you."

"I love you." He kisses her once more and then they break apart. He gestures to me. "This is Juliet."

"Hi," Penny smiled, coming over to hug me. "James was the one who told me everything," she whispers to me. "He's crazy about you, in case you didn't know."

I laugh and this time I couldn't stop the tears. They were all safe. He was safe.

But Desmond's first vision was still eating away at me.

_You weren't on it._

"Is he here?" I ask when Penny lets go of me and takes Desmond's hand. That was when her smile falters. "He and Miles, they just went to find you at the barracks."

She has to be kidding.

"Penny?" a voice calls. Two more people walk into the jungle.

"Juliet," Jin exclaims.

I can't stop the smile that seeing him again brings to my lips; regardless of the news I had just been given. We ran over to each other and I throw my arms around him. "Jin," I laugh. His familiar embrace has me feeling better already. "God, I missed you."

Jin is here, James is here. I'll get to him somehow.

"James, he just went to find you."

"I know." I release him and look at Sun, Penny and Desmond. "I'm going after him. Ben is probably searching for us already so you have to get out of here." It is only after I say it that I realize. Desmond sees it too. He opens his mouth to protest.

"You saw me on the boat," I stop him. "I'll be fine."

He wants to argue, I can see it in his eyes. But his hand tightens around Penny's and he just nods.

"Take the helicopter. Maybe Ben will stop if he sees it leave." But, then again this _is_ Ben we're talking about. Nothing stops him once he gets started. I don't say this out loud. "James and Miles and I will take the zodiac back and meet you there as soon as we can."

"I'm coming with you," Jin says.

"No, Jin, you and Sun need to get away from here. I'm promising you, it'll work out."

They all just stand there, knowing I was right but unwilling to budge. After three years, it was sometimes still hard to get used to, having people actually who care about me.

I could see the guilt in Desmond's eyes as he looks into mine and know he's about to give in.

I nod. "Go."

Reluctantly, they begin to move.

Jin and Desmond both hug me once more. "Be careful," Desmond whispers in my ear.

I smile softly. "Everything's going according to the flashes so far, right? Don't worry about me."

He smiles a small, sad smile and takes Penny's hand as they head towards the helicopter.

And then I am alone.

I take a deep breath and make my way towards the one place I promised myself I would never set foot in again as the chopper rises into the sky.

And though I never would have thought I would be able to lead myself right back to where The Others would be waiting when I had the perfect chance to escape, I do so with a smile.

_Only for you, James._

SAWYER

"I'm not so sure this is gonna work, Boss."

"Course it is," I answer gruffly, pushing some vines away with the rifle. "And stop calling me Boss."

"All I'm saying," Miles continues, "is that if Ben saw the helicopter, which he did, then he would have his whole groupie of hostiles to come after us and-"

"Shh," I cut him off, blocking his way with the rifle.

"What the hell are you-"

"Shut up, will you," I hiss. God, I forgot how annoying it was to search the jungle with Miles.

I listen to the cracking of leaves and twigs and slowly make my way towards the sound, lifting the rifle in their direction. Then they began to talk.

"I don't think this is such a good idea."

"Come on, Karl. My Dad is out tracking that helicopter. He won't catch us."

"Yeah but maybe he will. He knows everything. It's like he's got spies everywhere."

"That's ridiculous. If that were true then J-" she stops.

"Then what?" Karl probed.

"Then nothing. Come on, let's go."

"Is that Alex?" Miles whispers.

"Yeah," I whisper back. I lower the gun.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to talk to them." I make my way towards their voices.

"What?!" he hisses. "Are you insane?" I don't stop and soon enough he is hurrying after me. "So what, are you just gonna go up and talk to them? They probably don't even remember yet! I know you're eager to get to Juliet, but I really don't think you're thinking straight right now."

"I'm thinking just fine. They're best chance for finding out what's going on and the best way to reach Juliet." Saying her name sent a shiver down my spine. She is so close. So unbelievably close…

I step out from behind a tree and both heads whip around to face me; two guns pulled out.

"Whoa, easy." I drop the rifle and lift my hands. "We just wanna talk."

"You're from the helicopter, aren't you!?" Karl shouts; his voice trembling jut as much as the gun in his hands. "Why are you here!?"

"Like I said, we just wanna talk." I glance over at Miles, who looks from me to Alex to Carl and nods.

Karl lowers the gun an inch.

"Alex-"

The gun comes back up.

"How do you know her name!"

"Will you calm down!" I shout. He's a good kid and all, but I just don't have the patience.

"Alex," I repeat. "Do you have any idea who I am?"

She stares at me, gun still pointed. Then she shakes her head. "No." Her voice is strong and sure.

"Try to remember. Do you remember helping us out of those polar bear cages?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

I turn to Karl. "What about you? Remember Linus locking you up? Brainwashing you?"

He's scared as hell, and he doesn't remember a thing.

"Stop!" Alex says. "That never happ-"

"Danielle Rousseau." I cut in. "She mean anything to you?"

"Who are you!?" Alex yells, adjusting the position of her gun so it is pointing straight at my heart. "I don't know a Danielle Rousseau and I _don't _know you! Just tell us what you want from us before I get Ben Linus. He'll kill you as soon as he gets here."

"James," Miles murmurs. "They really don't remember us."

I ignore him. "Alex, we're not here to do anything to anyone. Relax, alright. You can trust us."

Her eyes are guarded. "_What. Do. You. Want_?"

"James," Miles persists. "Let's just go. This isn't getting us anywhere. They don't remember us."

"Shut up!" I take in a breath. Why the hell can't they just remember? Why can't they remember that they can trust me? How the hell will they ever help us get to Juliet now? She's not going to turn against her father if she has no memory of all he's done.

But they don't remember. If Alex doesn't remember Rousseau she won't remember anything. Does this mean Juliet won't remember either? It's not about death. Charlie and Shannon and Boone all remember. Is it because none of the Others were flashing? So Karl and Alex wouldn't have been if they were alive? Or is because they were here when the plane crashed? Is I because they weren't on the plane?

I pray to God it's the first one. Because Juliet _has _to remember. But there is only one way to find out.

And I have to work with what I have.

"Alright. I'm sorry. Those are just things I thought happened. I guess they didn't. But all we here for is Juliet."

"Juliet?" Alex says.

"Yes. Juliet Burke. She knows us. We just want to get her home. We just…wanna…get her…" I trail off at the look on Alex's face. "She _is_ here right?" Holy shit. What if she's not? What if her life changed just like Dan's? What if she's home while I'm here…

Alex stumbles her words.

"What?"

"Not anymore," Karl says.

I'm silent for a moment. "What?"

"She's dead," Karl says simply. "She killed herself."

No. No she didn't. They're wrong. Juliet would never…

I'm aware of Miles' arms holding me steady before I realize that I was falling. "No," I breathe out. Karl looks at Alex and his gun comes down. He must realize. He must see he can trust me now. Because this is how he would react if it was Alex. But Alex has her head hung, starring at the dirt on the ground.

"No! She couldn't have."

"I'm sorry," Karl says.

I think I might pass out. Miles still has one arm around me. "How?"

"She…She drowned herself. It's almost three weeks." He paused, scrutinizing my expression. I still hadn't wrapped my head around it. "She hated it here. Everyone knew that. I guess…I guess it just got too much. I'm sorry," he says again softly.

I look to Alex, who is still looking to the ground. Eventually she feels my staring at meets my helpless eyes. She nods, small and unsure. "I'm sorry," she whispers.

I stumble back against a tree, tears blurring my vision. She can't be gone. She couldn't have left me!

"I won't tell my dad you were here. If you leave right now," she adds.

I don't respond.

"Absolutely," Miles says quickly. We're going." He picks my gun off the ground before guiding me away. "Come on."

Once we are a fair distance away from them, I shake Miles off. I snatch my rifle and head in the other direction.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

I keep walking. The initial moment of weakness is over, and I'm ready to fight.

"Jim!" He runs to catch up and grabs my shirt. I shrug him off. "What are you doing!?"

"I'm getting that fucking bastard!" I yell, a tear creeping down my face. "This is his fault! I'm killing whoever is responsible for this!"

But, if I'm being completely honest with myself, I know that isn't true. Juliet dealt with Ben for three years. I know her. She was stronger than this. Sure she was broken, but she was nowhere near reaching her total breaking point. She could have dealt with him.

There is only one thing that could ever make her feel so desperate and helpless that she'd do what she's done.

If she remembered.

If I really wanted to kill whoever was responsible for this, it wouldn't be Ben I'm after.

It would be me.

_**A/N: I'm sorry! I'm evil. I really, really will try to update before next year. **_

_**So, I totally was not planning to go all Romeo and Juliet there. As I was planning this out I never put two and two together, that sawyer would talk to Karl and Alex and that they all though she was dead and Alex promised not to tell anyone. It was only when I started the Karl/ Sawyer conversation that I was like "wait a minute…" **_

_**Yeah. I will attempt to update though. I mean, I can't just leave it here! **_

_**Please review (I'll try to get the next chapter out a little quicker if I get more reviews then I did for my last chapter.) Hehe, wow, I am evil. =D**_

**_Thanks for sticking with this story!_**


	24. Ready?

_** Wow, how is that for a speedy update? I've got to say, I'm quite proud of myself for regaining my updating skills that seemed to disappear sometime last august. **_

_** I'm hoping to get a couple more reviews for this chapter. Please? If you read it, I'd really appreciate it if you could just take a minute to tell me if you liked it or if you didn't.**_

_** And I am totally thrilled to have surpassed 200 reviews. I never thought that would happen when I started this story. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed. You guys are absobloodylutely amazing!! And a special thanks to eyeon, justawriter, giraffe13, and Voler Libre for reviewing my last chapter.**_

_** Hope you all like this one! :)**_

_Ready?_

SAWYER

"Wait! James, wait a second!" Miles yells, but I only move faster. I don't even know what I'm planning on doing anymore. I just need to get away.

"Sawyer!" I stopped. Miles hasn't called me that in years. It was hard for Jin to catch on, and he slipped every once in a while, but Miles had known me for so little time before Dharma that it was almost as natural for him to call me Jim or LaFleur as it was for Juliet to call me James. I guess I am acting like Sawyer.

But, the truth is, I don't know how to be James without Juliet.

"James…" Miles says gently, now that he's gotten me to stop. I look up at him and for the first time see that there are some tears in his eyes too. Of course he has no idea what it's like for me, but he was friends with Juliet too. He told me once during one of his rare moments of opening up that the three of us were the only real friends he's ever had. And, to a certain extent, the same went for all of us. No one would have ever believed that the con artist, the harsh and hidden blond, the Korean who could hardly speak English, and the guy who claimed to talk to ghosts could ever form a bond. But we did, and it was strong too. Of course losing Juliet would be hard for Miles too.

But it wouldn't kill him.

For me…I wasn't so sure.

"James listen to me. I know how hard this must be for you. I mean, it's fucking hard as hell for me and I wasn't even…" he drifted off. "The point is, you can't do this. Let's just go back. Let's go to the Swan and meet the others. We'll get Desmond and then go home. Let's just get off this island once and for all."

I'm about to respond. I'm about to tell him he doesn't get it. I'm about to tell him I killed Juliet. I'm about to tell him that its more than 'fucking hard as hell' for me, that I don't even know if I can handle living anymore. Because without Juliet even breathing has become a chore.

But I don't get to say any of those things. Because right as I open my mouth we hear it. The rumbling of an engine. We look to the sky and, sure enough, the chopper is making its way up.

"What…what are they doing?" Miles asks incredulously. "Are they leaving?"

The helicopter was moving over the water, heading for the freighter.

"No," Miles continues, following its path with his eyes. "What the hell are they doing!?"

"Ben." I say, momentarily distracted. "Ben must have found them."

My thoughts are going crazy. Are they all okay? Has Penny found Desmond? Do I want her to, if I'll never have the chance to find Juliet? (Of course I do, at least one of us deserves to be reunited. But still, the jealously is just another hit; rubbing salt in the wound from losing her.) And I can't help but think that this gives me a reason to kill Ben. This gives me an enemy; someone i can turn my hate to, instead of carrying it all myself.

"So they are leaving us!? Are they gonna come back? Holy shit. Just when we got off. Just when we got off after three damn years…hey! Where are you going?"

"Ben has a way off this island. I'm going to get it."

I say the words without knowing if I mean them. I've never been this lost in my life. All I really want to do is collapse on the floor and cry. Because I can't. I can't live without her.

But another part off me wants to kill. And Ben has become my target, if only to keep it from being myself.

I'm a mess. I'm a fucking broken mess, torn into a thousand pieces and scattered all over the jungle floor. I don't know what to do. I don't know where the hell I'm supposed to go now. Because if Juliet's never going to leave the island, how can I?

How can I ever leave her behind?

"You think you can get _Ben_ to give you a way off? Are you insane?" I think we both know the answer to that one. "There is no way. There is nothing we can do to-"

"We have a boat."

Miles stops talking. The gun falls out of my hands. I turn slowly, as if any sudden movements will scare the voice away.

"I think that's your best bet. I mean, you could go try taking a sub from Ben, but then you'll get caught and I'll have to come save you and then they'll found out I'm not dead, which of course wouldn't help any of us and…" She runs a hand through her hair, her eyes glistening, focused on something beyond me. My mouth opens and I haven't fully processed it all.

_She's here. She's okay. She, she faked her death. She's alive. Oh my God she's alive._

And yet my feet seem planted to the ground, because she's not making sense. She still hasn't looked at me and I have no idea what she wants. _Maybe we were never supposed to be together_ is ringing in my head.

But then that sad sort of smile of hers spreads across her face and the ice in her eyes melts as tears down her cheeks and her beautiful blue eyes meet mine. "And it was a stupid plan," she whispers. Then she's running and I find myself running too until she collapses into my arms. I pull her in so close I'm not quite sure she can breathe. But she doesn't seem to mind.

"Juliet," I whisper, tears running down my cheeks and falling into her hair. "Oh my God, Juliet."

I can't seem to get close enough. She's crying into my shoulder and I lean my face into her hair, my hands moving frantically around her back, continuing to bring her chest closer to mine, afraid that she may disappear.

"Juliet."

"I can't believe you remembered. I can't believe you came back."

I pull her back slightly and tilt her head up, brushing a strand of hair away from her face so that her eyes meet mine. "I could never let you go." Then I press my lips against hers. Her hands move to my hair and everything else disappears. Every bit of fear and pain and anger and desperation from just moments before have evaporated and the only thing that is real is her. Juliet. Her lips against mine.

How did I survive the past three weeks without her?

All I know is that I could never do it again.

She pulls back and looks at me and laughs. _Oh my God, that laugh. How did I go so long without that laugh?_ She moves her lips back to mine. This kiss is less urgent, now that I'm realizing that it's not the last one we'll have. That this woman in front of me is the real Juliet, not some ghost, and she is here, and she ain't going anywhere.

"I love you," Juliet says, pulling away. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"

"No," I cut her off. "Don't." I hug her once more. "I love you. God, I love you so much. _You_, Juliet. I love _you._ Only you."

"I know," she whispers, pulling me closer. "I know."

We stay there for another minute, wrapped in each others arms, until Miles reminds us of his presence with a unnecessarily long cough.

Juliet laughs and breaks away from me, throwing her arms around him. "Miles!"

He laughs too and returns the hug. "Oh, so you do remember me. Okay."

"Of course I remember you. You annoyed the hell out of me for three years, how could I forget?"

"Oh, I'm wounded, really."

We're all just standing there, joking and smiling and laughing like old times. I try to think of how i could make this moment any better and come up blank.

"I missed you Juliet," Miles says seriously. "We thought we lost you."

"I'm right here," Juliet assures him, _us_ really, taking a step back and grabbing hold of my hand. She smiles up at me and I squeeze her hand. But then she's back to business.

"So the boat," she says, looking behind us. "It's just back there, right on the beach. We better get back there before Ben gets to it, or us."

"Let's do it," Miles says. I nod and pick up the rifle. I almost laugh and shudder at the thought of how I had wanted to use it to put a bullet through my own head.

"Do you know if everyone else okay?" I ask to distract myself from the thoughts of how Juliet could have found me dead.

"They're fine. Desmond and I met everyone else by the hatch. Well, not before we went to the freighter."

"What?"

She laughs. "We were off the island. We took his sailboat and got the hell away from here. And then, after three days of being in the water, we see the helicopter going to the island."

Holy shit," I say. "We just kept missing each other."

"We're together now," she reminds me.

"Barely. I thought you we're dead, Juliet. Alex and Karl told me you were dead."

"You talked to Alex?"

"Yes, I talked to Alex. And they told me you were dead! I thought I lost you twice."

"Alex knew," she says, somewhat distantly. "She knew I was alive."

"_What?_ She _knew_ you were alive and she didn't tell me?"

"Of course she didn't. I made her promise she wouldn't tell anyone. She doesn't know you. At least she doesn't _know_ that she knows you. She was just keeping her promise. It doesn't matter anymore anyway."

But it does. To me it does. If she had just told me what she knew then I wouldn't have gone so crazy. It may have only been a few minutes, but they were the most horrifying minutes of my life. I _felt_ dead. I truly felt so unbelievably helpless and dead, and that no matter what happened, I would never be alive again. If Juliet didn't come and save me…

I push the thought away.

"Here we are," Juliet says. The zodiac is lying on the sand, untouched by Ben or any of the other Others. We're safe.

"Thank God," Miles sighs, hopping in to the boat."

I look at Juliet, and she is staring back at me.

"Ready?" I ask. "Ready to finally go home?"

"As long as you're with me," she smiles almost sheepishly.

"You bet your ass I am." I lean down and kiss her.

"Guys! Can we get on the boat first please? I'm not getting captured by Ben just because you two couldn't wait thirty seconds before getting all over each other."

Juliet laughs and pulls me to the boat. We push it into the water (no help from Miles there) and then jump in. We're both laughing as we pull off our wet shoes and roll up our soaked pants. Our eyes meet and without a word we throw ourselves at each other so fast that the boat shakes. Juliet scream-laughs and falls against me. Even after we all got completely comfortable with each other, I'd only seen her like this, so completely carefree, on the very best of days. And on more than one of those occasions it was the work of a nice bottle of Dharma wine.

I look back to the island where I transformed from Sawyer to James, and can't help but remember our life there.

"Do you think we're gonna miss it?"

"I think we'll be just fine," Juliet responds, positioning herself against my chest. I put my arm around her and together we watch the island disappear.

_** Ahhhh. Well, it's a relief to have finally written this out. I feel like i can breathe again :) I've been planning it since about last august. I hope you all enjoyed it! A little cheesy (or a lot cheesy) I know, but I think it's time we have some cheesiness. Please tell me what you think!!**_

_**Thanks for reading! You guys are amazing!!**_

=D


	25. Branded

_**A/N: Wow. I cannot believe I'm updating this. I thought I abandoned this story for good, but had a sudden burst of inspiration. **_

_**Honestly, I only have a couple of chapters left, and I thought them over so many times last year (I cannot believe I began this story over a year ago…) and I used to be so sure that this would be the first thing I actually I finished, I just decided I **_**had**_** to finish it.**_

_**So, this has two to three chapters left, and I've been planning them since LAST September, so I'm thinking they'll actually get written.**_

_**I'm writing this at five in the morning on no sleep, so I'm not quite sure how it turned out. Hope you enjoy **_

_**Sarah **_

_Branded_

SAWYER

She is in my arms.

Lying on the bed beside me, clothes forgotten on the floor, Juliet is in my arms. I can feel her pale skin, the warmth of her body. She's real. And she is right here.

"You know that in a few weeks your people are supposed to capture me," I whisper in her ear. "Lock me in a cage, feed me fish biscuits. _You're _supposed to taser me."

"That can be arranged, if you'd like." She smiles her smile and I let out a laugh.

"This is so fucking weird."

"I'm pretty used to weird."

She leans in and kisses me and then I'm on top of her and in her and out of her all too fast.

"I love you," I say as I pull her in close. I can't seem to stop saying it. I don't think I told her enough the last time.

I wonder if in another dimension I'm sitting on the beach, flirting with Kate and hating everything Other, Juliet included.

It's hard to imagine that at any time in any universe it is I can possibly be loving anyone that's not her.

I run my hand along her back, retracing everything. Matching my memories to what's really there.

I reach her lower back and stop, the difference a blinking red siren in my mind. For an instant I'm terrified that this is all just another dream and it's absence is my brain letting me know that she's nothing but a beautiful image I've created and it's time to wake up. But then it all comes together and I lift the blankets, just to be sure.

"Holy shit," I whisper in shock. "It's gone."

"What?"

"The mark," I explain, my fingers grazing over where it used to be. "It's gone!"

Juliet had told me that it had only happened after Kate and I escaped, but I still couldn't see her without it. It was all I'd ever known. And it had mattered to me so much, because I blamed myself fully for that mark, and eve after three years when it hardly even crossed her mind, I truly hated myself every time I saw it or felt it as I held her.

She reaches behind her and pushes my hand away. "It is gone," she observes as if it means nothing at all. How can it mean so little to her? I never got that. I never understood how she could have me touch it and not once say "that was your fault."

"I guess my slate is clean," she says.

"It always was." I turn her slightly so my lips can meet hers.

It feels like the lack of her branding redefines everything, yet not a thing has changed.

###

It's my first good sleep since 77, but when I awaken Juliet is gone.

"Juliet?" I call. No response.

"Jules!"

Nothing. I try not to panic because I _know _she was here and what could happen to her now? But the idea of losing her is still too fresh in my mind and I can't stand not knowing. So I find my pants and hurry out.

There's a light on at the room at the end of the hall and I hear her voice as I approach.

"It's so good. _Mmm. _Oh my God this is _so good_."

Well, it sounds like she found something more excited than sleeping with me. Curious, I go in.

Her and Desmond are at the kitchen table, feasting on oatmeal.

"Looks like I'm missing quite the party," I say as I take a seat beside her.

"Hey." she covers her mouth as she chews. "I just needed something to eat. This stuff is _amazing. _You want some?" She holds the spoon out to me.

"No thanks."

"You sure? It's delicious."

"It's Quaker Oats instant oatmeal, Juliet."

"Well its better then _Dharma Oats_." She takes another bite. "Do you have any idea how long I've been eating Dharma food for?" asks. Of course I do. "Six years!" she answers herself before I have a chance.

"Three," Desmond corrects her and they both laugh. It must be some inside joke or something because I'm not getting it.

"What time is it anyway?" I ask. She shrugs.

Around two."

"And you're eating oatmeal?"

"I was hungry."

She takes a couple more spoonfuls and then pushes back her chair. "Alright. I'm done. Desmond, I will see you in the morning."

He nods and stands as well. "I should get back to Penny too. Sleep well."

"You too." She takes my hand in hers as we head out.

"Night Scotty," I say.

He smiles. "Good night Sawyer."

"So you and Desmond got pretty close, huh?" I ask once we're back in our room.

"Yeah. I could not have gotten through the past few weeks without him."

She glances up at me and looks thoroughly amused by my expression. "You're not jealous are you?"

"What? No!" But maybe I am. A little.

"James," she laughs. "We're friends. We kept each other going when you and Penny weren't there. We didn't think we'd get off. We didn't think you remembered," she was suddenly serious. "Do you have any idea what that's like? I was trapped there, and I didn't think I would ever see you again."

"How the hell do you think I felt all this time Blondie?"

Tears form in her eyes and she wraps her arms around me. "I love you so much James." then words make me shiver and I try not to remember her letting go. ''I love you."

I embrace her as pieces of our past that I'd rather have stayed forgotten replay themselves and I'm having a hard time reminding myself that without all of that, we wouldn't be here now. We wouldn't be together, going home to the right time.

_Going home to Rachel_ and I think, and I'm sure she's thinking it too. That's what makes all of the torture of the past few weeks-the pure, constant torture of our lives ever since Kate and Jack returned to the island-feel worth it.

She's going home to Rachel.

* * *

JACK

"Shannon called me the other day," Claire informs me from the table as I fix up two cups of coffee.

"Really?"

"Yeah. She found my number after reading about the scandalous relationship between the base player for Driveshaft and the unknown pregnant girl who looks about ready to burst in a magazine."

" You're in a magazine?"

"Yeah. It's not a big deal. I don't think it's going to last. Liam is living a totally normal life. And Charlie's actually pretty happy about it. He wants a little attention, now that the memorials not happening."

"What?"

"There was this big memorial for him after the plane crash. Naomi told him about it. He was thrilled. I think he's secretly a little upset it didn't happen this time around."

I chuckle because I know she wants me to. But I'm having a hard time finding anything humorous. I'm having a hard time concentrating on anything except how to get Kate out of prison.

I set the coffees down on the table. "So do you have a date for the wedding?"

"Not yet. Definitely after Aaron comes, which should be only a week now." She takes a sip of hers. "I'm really not looking forward to doing it again."

"At least you'll have the luxuries of a hospital this time."

"That is a plus," she grins. "And we're also making sure my mom the wedding will be after my mom gets out of the coma. Which, according to you, is only a few months away."

"I met her in January," I confirm.

She beams. "I can't wait to see her."

"Any day now."

She nods and takes another sip. "Charlie's having a hard time choosing between you and Liam for best man."

"He should ask Liam. He _is _his brother."

"Well you're _my_ brother," she says. "Plus you were on the island. So really, we have more of a connection with you then with him."

"Good luck explaining that to Liam," I mutter into my cup. She laughs. "What about you?" I ask. "Any ideas for the maid of honor?"

"Well," she starts slowly. "I wanted to have Kate…"

"She would love to," I cut in, because I know where Claire is going with this.

"Jack," she sighs. "I want her out just as much as you do. But realistically-"

"We're _getting_ her out," I say firmly. We have to.

"Jack…"

"How's Shannon doing?" I oh-so-subtly change the subject.

Claire sighs. I do this every time she tries to bring reality into the picture. "She's fine. Sayid left her, but she's getting over it."

The door bell rings. I'm tempted to ignore it, but it goes off again. "I guess I'll get that," I stand.

"She got a dog!" Claire calls after me.

"That's great."

I open the door and grab onto the door frame for support when I see who it is.

_How…_

"Hey Jack."

My mouth opens, but no words escape.

_Kate._


	26. Shattering the Glass

_**A/N: Imagine that, I promised more updates, and three months has gone by. I am so sorry. Seriously, I cannot be trusted. This time I am going to make a promise I KNOW I can keep:**_

_**It may take another year, but I am finishing this story. I've got two chapters left. If I can, I'll get the next one up before the end of January. But as I said, don't trust me.**_

_**Thank you so much to justawriter, Giraffe13, Dr. Giggles, and Moon FireStar for reviewing my last chapter. It's nice to know I've still got some readers sticking with me and my horrendous updating skills!**_

_**I wrote this chapter pretty quickly and didn't check it over, but I want to get it up, so sorry for any mistakes. And now, chapter 26!**_

_Shattering the Glass_

KATE

"You have a visitor," the guard says as he comes to open up me cell. I smile slightly. It's the only thing I have to look forward to. Someone's here almost every day. Claire or Jack, and sometimes even Sawyer. A bit of hope rushes through me. Sawyer hasn't come in a while, and both Jack and Claire were here yesterday.

Not that I don't love seeing Jack and Claire, but it's difficult. Only so much happens in twenty four hours and they're running out of things to tell me. And it's not like I have much news for them. _Today some new guy got punched in the face. Today I was on janitor duty. _

And it's so damn hard to see Jack, to have his hand a centimeter away from mine, but not be able to touch him. Not be able to feel his arms around me or his lips on mine.

And I miss Sawyer. I ask Claire for updates sometimes, but she doesn't know much. Last she heard he was trying to get Dan to help him back to the island. Which is absolutely absurd. I feel bad about Juliet, of course I do, but there is no way he'll be able to get back there. And what is he expecting to do when he does? Explain the situation to Ben and expect him to let her go with a smile on his face? Kidnap Juliet and just hope she remembers? She probably doesn't even remember. He needs to move on. If it's him who is here, I'll try and tell him that.

But when I am led into the glass-walled room, the first thing I notice about the man on the other side is that it isn't Sawyer. And it isn't Jack. It isn't someone I know at all.

I'm turning back to the guard to tell him that this is a mistake, that this man isn't here for me, when the door slams shut. I'm alone.

I'm cautious as I head to my seat, staring intently at the stranger. He has wonderful posture. He already has the phone to his ear, as if I'm already talking to him and a there is a bizarre look of pure serenity on his face. I feel as if the roles are switched, as if this glass is a barrier to protect _me_, and for the first time I'm glad it's here, because something about this man is absolutely petrifying.

I sit down and pick up the phone, cradling it against my ear.

"Hello Kate," he says before I can even open my mouth. I stare at him in shock and realize that I recognize him. I don't know from where, but something about his voice, his face, the eerie calmness that surrounds him is familiar and it terrifies me because it is exactly how I felt when I saw Claire for the first time, sitting behind that glass. Is he from some other erased life? Was there more than one? Is there a third set of memories somewhere that has him in it?

I'm trembling now as I say into the receiver, "wh-who are you?"

"A friend," he smiles and I feel sick. I don't have any friends like him.

"What do you want?"

"I'm here to offer you a choice," he says. "Something, I am sorry to say, I withheld from you in the past."

I look to the door. The guard is waiting right outside. I can just get up and have him take me back to my cell right now. I don't have to talk to this lunatic.

"Kate?" he says gently.

"What?" I meant for it to be harsh, but you can hear the fear.

He smiles. "All I am trying to do is thank you, just as I did the others. Of course, they were all much easier. Curing John and Rose and Jin was not a problem. Your case, however-" he points to me through the glass-"was a little more challenging. That is why it took so long, I apologize for that. But I think I finally found a way around it."

"What do you want?" I manage to be a little more forceful this time.

"I want to help you out of jail, Kate."

I am too shocked to speak for a minute, but when I have control of my voice I say, "I don't want it."

His eyes widen, ever so slightly. "Really? I would have assumed otherwise."

"I don't want that life anymore. I don't want to always be running and hiding and worrying that they'll find me."

He chuckles. "I think you're misunderstanding me. If you let me help you, you'll be free."

I stare at him in disbelief. This isn't real. He isn't saying this.

"I'm serious," he continues. "You will be completely free; no one will be after you. You could live wherever you want, for as long a time as you want, with no fear of who might find you." He waits for me to say something. I don't. "Would you like that?"

"Why? Why would you help me?"

"I'm just returning the favor. I know it wasn't easy, but coming back to the island and setting off that bomb was exactly what I needed you to do."

"You're-You're from the island" I whisper. I didn't even think he could hear me, but he nods.

"How would you do it?" I ask. I don't trust him. I don't trust him at all.

"I have my ways," he says and I almost want to life. He's crazy. He's some crazy friend of Hurley's-since Hurley can't keep his mouth shut-that found out about the island and is here to mess with me.

"Alright fine," I laugh. "Do it. Get me out of jail!" And I can't stop the laughter because this is all so absurd.

He smiles and begins to stand. "It was nice speaking to you again Kate. And try to stay out of trouble from now on." _Well that won't be too hard_, I think. _Considering I'm in jail_. "No more stealing lunch boxes."

That just doesn't make any sense at all.

He puts the phone down and exits the room without a glance my way. I try to make sense of what just happened, but I might as well be trying to swim back to the island and ride one of Dharma's polar bears. So I knock on the door and let the guard lead me back to the cell.

Everyone is just getting ready for lunch when they unlock my cell and tell me I'm free.

###

"Hey Jack."

He stares at me, mouth hanging open and nothing coming out. He is completely still and I feel my heart racing. It's as if that glass is still here, forcing us apart.

_Move_, I think, and I don't know if it's toward me or Jack. _It's only air between us. Move. Close the space. Move._

"Jack, who is it?"

For an instant, panic kicks in. _Is he cheating on me? Are we even together? _But the Australian accent is thick and familiar and of course it's Claire.

She appears behind Jack a moment later and he cup of coffee falls and shatters on the floor. "Kate." And just like that the glass is shattered too as she pushes Jack aside and throws her arms around me. "Oh my God Kate!" She pulls back and looks at me. "How-how did you...Oh my God!" Her arms are back around me and I can feel the bulge of her belly. Aaron is kicking.

"I can't believe you're here! Come, come it!" she pulls me inside and shuts the door. "Let me get you something, there's more coffee in the kitchen." And I'm sure it's not my appetite she's concerned with as she leaves me alone with Jack.

He's still staring at me, shell-shocked and wordless. At least he's closed his moth. We stand there, an infinite amount of empty space between us.

"Kate," he finally manages.

"Jack."

Well, this isn't exactly the grand reunion I was expecting.

Another moment of staring and silence passes. Coffee pouring in the kitchen, its strong smell reaching me before Jack does. It's been weeks since I smelled real coffee, real food. The soft buzz of the air conditioning, the broken coffee mug on the floor beside us.

And then two small steps on both our parts and Jack's chest is right up against mine. His arms strong around me. His stubble prickly against my cheek. It's all so real and familiar and I forgot how much I missed it.

He runs his hand through my hair and I think he is beginning to say something but I cut him off with my lips. How long has it been since we last kissed?

I can feel Claire watching but that doesn't stop either of us. His tongue enters my mouth and I want to cry because this is all so overwhelming and perfect and I don't want him to ever let go and ask me how I got here, but he's Jack, so of course he does.

I tell them exactly how it went over coffee and cookies.

"What did he mean about curing Rose and Jin and Locke?" Claire questions. I shrug.

"Well, Locke is out of his chair, but there was nothing wrong with Rose or Jin, as far as I knew," Jack says. He is sitting next to me, our sides touching and his hand in mine. "So you don't know him?"

"No, I don't know. There was something familiar about him. He obviously knows me."

"And you have no idea what he did to get you out?" Claire asks.

"No clue."

"But there is no chance of them coming back for you?" Jack asks, squeezing my hand.

I shake my head. "No, I was there when they released me. It's official."

"That is so weird," Claire says. Her hand flies to her stomach and she laughs. "Well, Aaron is certainly excited to have you back. He's kicking like crazy!"

I smile and I rest a hand against her stomach. I'm glad I'll be here when he's born. I'm glad I'll be at the wedding. But once Aaron is here, it'll be like that glass wall again. I'll be able to see him and touch him, but I'll never be his mother.

The doorbell rings. "Hello?"

"Oh that's Charlie!" Claire says excitedly. "He's going to freak when he sees you! Wait here!"

She hops up and skips to the door and Jack and I grin at each other. He rolls his eyes.

"Hello Love," Charlie says as he gives her a quick peck on the lips. "You'll never believe what I found today! Look at this!" He whips out baby overalls with a two palm trees on the breast pocket. "Dundadadun!" He sings as he holds it up to her. "Get it! Like the island!"

"It's great," Claire laughs. She turns to us. Charlie follows suit. "Kate!" he exclaims before dropping the bag of baby clothes and running over to embrace me.

"Hey Charlie," I laugh, thrilled to see him.

"How the bloody hell did you get here?"

"Long story."

"I've got all day,"

"I'll tell you later," Claire comes to my rescue. Charlie steps back and grins at me.

"Well, listen," Claire says. "I'm sure you two would love some alone time, but I was thinking you could hold off on that a couple more hours and let us stay for dinner?"

"Oh year, and I could call Hurley and Libby and get them over too. A big homecoming dinner," Charlie adds.

They all look to me. "Sure, I'd love too." I don't know if Jack is all too happy about this, but Charlie and Claire certainly are, and so are Libby and Hurley when they get here. Hurley wraps me up in a big bear hug as soon as he is through the door. It's great catching up with them, especially Libby, who I haven't seen in almost three and a half years. I find my thoughts drifting to Sawyer and Juliet and I almost feel guilty for having such a good time. I'm almost on board with his plan to go back to the island, because it isn't fair to tell him to just give up on finding Juliet, when the rest of us found past lovers with about as much difficulty as it takes to find coupons in the Sunday newspaper.

I help Jack with the dishes when everyone is gone. He is chucking to himself as he scrapes cheese out of a pan.

"What?"

"Hurley. I haven't talked to him much since the island. I've missed him."

"I've missed_ everyone_. We should try to set something up soon."

He nods. I pick up a pot. "Pass me the sponge."

He hands it over and his fingers graze against mine. I grab his hand before he has time let it go completely and pull him to me. I kiss him hard, dropping the pot in the sink and letting the sponge fall to the floor. He puts his pan on the counter and his soapy fingers find their way into my hair. He leads me into his bedroom, his lips never leaving mine. I unbuckle his jeans and he lifts my shirt up over my head. I remember the last time we did this. God, that was so long ago. Everything was so different then.

It isn't until later, with Jack asleep with his bare chest against my back and one arm resting over me that I remember trying to steal a lunchbox with Tom, and the man who was there to pay for it.

_**A/N: I do love make out sessions in the middle of washing dishes, don't I? I think this is the second time it happened in this story.**_

_**Hope you all enjoyed. I'd love if you could leave a quick review, telling me what you think!**_

_**Thanks for reading!**_

_**-Sarah**_


	27. Clenching and Unclenching, Nerves Nerves

_**Wow, it is so nice to actually have this chapter-which has been sitting in the back of my mind for over a year now-written down and done.**_

_**I was skimming over some of my earlier chapters, and in one of my A/Ns I apologized for focusing so much on Suliet, saying that wasn't my intension at all. HA! If that wasn't my intension then, it certainly is now.**_

_**Well, with this chapter done, I believe there is only one chapter left. Maybe, possibly, I'll do one more after that. After a year and a half, it is so weird to have this story finally coming to an end. **_

_**Hope you all enjoy this chapter! And a huge thank you to Marla's Lost, Moon FireStar, eyeon and Giraffe13 for the reviews! **_

_**-Sarah**_

_Clenching and Unclenching, Nerves Nerves Nerves _

JULIET

The rental car is the same light blue as the dharma jeeps and the first two numbers on the license plate are four eight and I can't help but take that as a bad omen.

I had been prepared to comfort James the whole trip here, holding his hand and telling him it's okay, this plane won't crash, but in reality he was the one taking care of me.

"Jules?" he had asked as we began our ascent. "You alright?"

My eyes were closed and I was gripping on the arm rests so tight my knuckles were turning white. "Yeah," I breathed.

He plied my fingers from the arm rest intertwined them with his. "It's okay. This plane is going straight to Miami, no unexpected crashes involved."

I laughed. "_I _should be the one telling _you _that. I can't believe you are so comfortable with this."

He threw me a cocky grin. "Why shouldn't I be? Ain't never been in a plane crash before, darlin'."

I smiled and rolled my eyes. It was just like Desmond, refusing to let me say I'd been on the island for over three years.

"We're going to Miami, Jules. We're not even crossing any water."

"No, you're right. I know. It's just..." I let out a long breath. "I don't even know what I'm going to say to her."

He draped an arm over my shoulder. "You'll know when you see her."

I turned to him, ran a hand through his hair and leaned in close. "Thank you," I whispered. And by the time our lips pulled apart, we were already moving smoothly through the air.

Now in the rented Chevy that feels much too much like a dharma van, I tap my hand rapidly against the seat. "I still don't know what I'm going to say. How am I supposed to explain this all to her?"

"You won't have to. She just wants to see you. To know your okay."

"She'll want answers."

Then give them to her."

I look out the window. Nice, small houses with flowers underneath open windows and basket ball hoops on the garage and tricycles and badminton nets in the yard.

"What if she isn't home?"

"Then we'll come back tomorrow."

I don't even say that we should've called, but he knows I'm thinking it. "Stop driving yourself crazy, Blondie. This is the only way to do it. You want your first conversation with Rachel to be over the phone?"

"No."

"Well then stop worrying. What's the address?"

I look down at the map we printed offline. It was weird, being on the internet. It's been six years (or three). I almost didn't know how to use it.

"Eighteen. Turn at the next left."

I stare at the numbers passing by. 12...14...16... "Stop."

It's a yellow house with dark blue shudders. A green Volkswagen sits in the driveway. "This is it."

"You ready?"

"Yeah." But my hands are trembling.

"Hey." James takes my face in my hands. "It's going to be fine."

"I'd given up on ever seeing her again. This doesn't feel real."

"Well it is. So get out there and don't screw it up."

I laugh a shaky laugh and he gives me a light kiss. Then he's out of the car and opening up my door.

He offers his hand and I'm probably stopping circulation, but he doesn't complain. I think without it I would fall.

On the side of the house is a sandbox shaped as a turtle.

And a little boy is playing inside.

"Oh my God," I whisper.

He sees me and beams before climbing over the edge and wobbling over to us. I put a hand over my mouth and tears start rolling down my face.

He stops right in front of us and looks up, squinting in the sun. He has her eyes. He has her smile.

"Hi," he says.

I swallow. "Hello."

"Julian!" A voice calls from behind the house. _Her _voice. Now my knees are shaking and this isn't really happening. I'm not here, seconds away from seeing her again. This can't be real. It's cruel how real this feels, because it can't be. It can't.

James squeezes my hand.

"How many times do I have to tell you to stay where I can see...oh my God."

She stands frozen at the edge of the yard. She looks good. Healthy, with thick brown hair down to her shoulders. Exhausted, but healthy.

"Ju...Juliet?"

We stare at each other, afraid to move afraid that even our breathing will puncture the image and send it up in flames.

But I risk it. Letting go of James' hand, I begin to run.

"Juliet!"

Our bodies slam together and we almost topple over from the impact. I throw my arms around her.

"Oh my God Juliet." She's laughing and she's crying and she's real. _She's real._

"Rachel," I whisper, the tears coming down fast. But I'm laughing too.

She pulls back, runs her hand along my face. "You're really here. I thought you were dead!"

"I'm so sorry." I wipe a tear off her cheek. "I-I tried to come back, but I couldn't-they wouldn't..."

"It's okay. It's okay."She touches my face, staring into my eyes, laughing. "Come inside." She takes my hand and we are almost to the door when she remembers. "Julian!"

She whips her head around to find him standing with James. I blush, because if she didn't remember Julian, I would have left him behind.

"Rachel," I begin, leading her back to him. "This is James." He holds a hand out. "Hi," she says, shaking his hand for a second before bending down to pick up Julian. "Julian, this is your aunt Juliet."

He smiles at me and then looks at his mom. "Is she the one from the pictures?" he whispers.

Rachel lets out a laugh, a tear escaping as well, and looks at me. "Yeah, honey. She's the one from the pictures."

We sit at the kitchen table with a platter of cheese and crackers between us. Julian is in the living room, enthralled in some nick jr. show I've never heard of.

James was right. Telling her about the island wasn't hard at all. I omit the time traveling and smoke monsters of course, but other than that, I can tell her just about everything. I almost mention the plane crash, assuming she's heard of it, when I remember it never really happened. So when it comes to James I just say, "He was brought to the island after me."

We catch up on what she's up to. A kindergarten teacher (I always knew she'd end up working with kids) and she's been seeing one of the parents. Tall, cute, divorced. She says it's been a couple of months now, and this one may be serious.

She asks how James and I ended up together and I turn to him, not even sure where to begin, but he jumps right into it.

"Well, it wasn't love at first sight, that's for sure. Even though Jules hated her people, she sure as hell acted like one of them in the beginning. A survival thing, you know?" He leans in toward her. "You'll never guess what she did to me when we first met."

"I don't think we need to go into that," I cut in.

"No, I have to hear this. What'd she do?"

He cups is hands over his mouth, leans in a little closer, and stage whispers, "she tasered me."

Rachel turns to me with her eyes bulged out and her mouth open wide. "Oh my god, Juliet!"

"Okay, but you have to understand that our people didn't exactly get along. I wasn't safe unless I played along."

"Yep. So they held us prisoner and she tasered me."

I glare at him. I don't want Rachel knowing this side of me.

"Jesus," she says. "I can't believe I didn't pick up on just how psychotic these people were when they came for you. I mean, I knew there was something off at that air port, but I would have _never_..." she shakes her head and then looked back at James. "So she captured and tasered you and you're dating her now? What happened? She help you escape?" she teases. "Something heroic and romantic like that?"

She's joking around and clenching and opening and reclenching her hand into a fist and that smile is plastered to her face and it is classic Rachel not being able to worrying about something. Classic Rachel hearing something she can't quite take in. I remember that hand clenching and unclenching when she barged into my lab all those years ago. The tears running down the curve of her lips as she kept the smile in place. _"No more bad hair days, right? My mornings will so much quicker when I don't have any hair to fix."_

Clenching and unclenching at my kitchen table one of the many mornings Edmund wasn't around for. _"Of all of the many people I fantasized about trying to get me pregnant, my little sister was never one of them."_

James is oblivious to it-anyone who doesn't know her would be-and he continues right on with their conversation. "Well, Juliet joined our camp after the escape. Things calmed down, time went by, and it just happened." He shrugs. Simple.

Rachel clearly does not agree.

"So are you guys staying here tonight?"

"I don't know," I say, glancing at James. "We haven't really thought about it." We had. We figured Rachel would let us crash here for a while to catch up. But judging from the clenching and unclenching of her firsts, I'm not so sure anymore.

"Stay here. There's a guest room upstairs."

I search her eyes. "Sure, of course. James," I turn to him and rest my hand on his. "Can you get the bags from the car?"

"Sure."

As soon as he's gone I turn back to Rachel. "Are you okay?"

"Am _I _okay? Jules, I'm just worried about you. These things you're telling me...these are seriously traumatizing things. I just can't even wrap my head around it. Juliet, are _you _okay?"

"I'm fine, Rach. Everything's worked itself out."

"Juliet, you are telling me everything, aren't you?"

"Yeah," I lie.

"It's just...that guy your seeing? I don't want to sound neurotic or anything, but considering everything your telling me..." she lets out a breath, thinks through her thoughts. "He's who you say he is? He's not one of those bastards from the island? This isn't part of some plan or something?"

I'm almost shocked that the thought would even cross her mind. But I can see where its coming from. Held on an island for three years, and suddenly I found myself a way off with no chance of being taken back and a boyfriend who seems much to nonchalant about all the horrors Rachel is just hearing for the first time.

"No. Rach, you think I'd let any of them within a mile of you and Julian? He was the island for a completely different reason. We met and we helped each other escape and survive."

She searches my eyes for the lie. I wonder if she believes I'm still the Juliet whose face is as telling as a clean glass window. I wonder if she'll miss that girl when she learns I've replaced that window with a one sided mirror instead.

"Alright, fine. But even if he isn't one of those people, are you sure about him? I mean, I'm sure on that island of psychopaths he seemed like a knight in shining armor. But he's just so not _you. _He's not your type."

"My type?" I almost laugh. "My _type _before the island was ugly workaholics who slept with every woman in sight, Rachel."

"How much do you really know about this guy?"

_Background wise? A whole files worth. Personality wise? Three years of it._

"Everything."

She gives me that look of hers. Her _nuh-uh-no-way-bull-shit _look.

"Listen, Rach, I know this is impossible to understand. I know how crazy it seems. Believe me, I know. But James is real. What I have with him is real. I love him. Just give him a chance, alright?" I reach across the table and grab her hand before she has a chance to close it back into a fist. She smiles. Maybe it's comforting to see that I remember her old habbits. Maybe she doesn't trust me anymore either.

"I'll give him a chance."

"Thank you." I squeeze her hand and stand to go help James with the bags.

"One chance," she calls after me. "But if he screws up he's out." She says it jokingly, but I know she's not kidding.

She's always keeping an eye on Julian, always takes a step closer to him when James enters the room. I can feel her scrutinizing us whenever we interact. When he grabs my hand at dinner, when he wraps an arm around me while we watch Cars (I forgot what it felt like to just sit back and watch TV), when he gives me laughs at the way I savoir each bite of a double stuffed Oreo (Dharma didn't make their cream filled cookies in double stuffed), when he calls me Blondie as we eat, and its making me nervous because I know any discomfort I show from her watching us like this will translate as James making me nervous and, dammit, I should have come alone. I should have had James stay in a hotel for this. I should have eased her into my new life on stead of overwhelming her with James.

I let out the breath I'd been holding all night as soon as Rachel is gone and the door to the guest room is closed.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" James asks as he pulls of his shirt.

I sit at the edge of the bed. "She doesn't trust you."

"Damn, and I wore me best shirt to impress her."

"I'm serious, James. She thinks you're an Other. She thinks I'm literally out of my mind to be dating you."

"Well what did you expect Jules? That she'd welcome me into the family with open arms?"

"No. I just..." I groan and put my head in my hands. He takes a seat beside me and pulls me into him.

"Listen, Rachel will never really understand what happened on the island. She'll never understand us. Think about it from her perspective. I'm some southern hick who's nothing like any of the men you've ever dated. And you're some scary blonde with straight hair instead of curly." I laugh and look up at him. He pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. "Listen Blondie, it ain't gonna be easy coming back into the real world after all this time, but we can do it. You believe that, don't you?"

"Of course." I lean over to kiss him. "I love you."

RACHEL

"I love you too," he says. And as they begin to kiss again, I creep away from the door, satisfied.

But I have Julian sleep in my room anyway.

Just in case.


End file.
